Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(27)

“He took me home and I was all prepared to thank him, say good night, retreat to my bedroom and die of embarrassment. Only he insisted on staying. And not only staying, but he was going to sleep in my bed.”

Chessy’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit. Did y’all have sex?”

Kylie shook her head. “No, here’s where it gets funny. At the time? Not so much. But now, yeah, I can laugh about it.”

“I’m all ears.”

“He was so gentle and understanding. The way he looks at me. I can’t explain it. It just makes me warm inside, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“He told me to handcuff him to the bed so I’d feel safe with him. So I’d know he couldn’t hurt me.”

Chessy nearly choked on the tea she’d just taken a sip of. She put the glass down, her mouth gaping open. “And did you?”

Kylie nodded.

“Holy shit,” Chessy breathed. “Now that is a guy I can never imagine giving up control. Especially to a woman. I mean he seems like the ultimate dominant guy. Like Tate and Dash, you know?”

Kylie nodded. “Yeah, I do know. I was shocked. But I was also so freaked-out that I didn’t really know what to do. Part of me wanted him gone so I could huddle in my bed and put the covers over my head and die of shame by myself. The other part of me really didn’t want him to leave but at the same time him being in my bed freaked me out.”

Chessy’s eyes softened with understanding. “I think that’s pretty amazing that he offered that. I mean, he put himself in a vulnerable situation for you. So you’d feel safe. That’s pretty awesome.”

“Yeah,” Kylie said softly. “So he goes to bed, fully dressed, and I’m in my granny pajamas. I handcuffed one of his hands because it looked really uncomfortable and I was humiliated that the only way I could let a man sleep in my bed was with him handcuffed and helpless.”

“Don’t ever feel shame for your need to feel safe, honey.”

Kylie huffed out a breath. “So we both go to sleep, only I had a nightmare about my father. Seeing someone who resembled him so closely in the restaurant just brought it all back, and then Jensen was calling my name. Telling me to wake up, that I was safe with him. And I don’t know. I just kind of freaked. I dove into his arms, only one of his hands was still handcuffed to the bed and all I could think about was wanting both of his arms around me. So I tore off the handcuffs and he held me. Just held me and told me to go back to sleep, that nothing could hurt me, that he’d never allow it. So we slept that way the rest of the night and I’ve never had a better night’s sleep once I was in his arms.”

Chessy smiled. “That’s wonderful, Kylie. He sounds delicious. And so tender and caring. I mean, what more can you ask for? The guy is drop-dead gorgeous, extremely alpha and protective. And he made huge concessions for you so you’d feel safe. He put you and your needs before his. Not many guys are willing to do that.”

“I know,” Kylie said softly. “And the thing is, Chessy, I do feel safe with him. I can’t explain it. He’s the kind of guy who should terrify me. He’s the kind of man I’d usually steer clear of by a mile. And yet the way he looks at me, the way he is around me. I just melt into a puddle. It’s ridiculous.”

“Not ridiculous,” Chessy refuted. “Sounds to me like you’ve got yourself a solid winner. So you’re going on a date tomorrow night?”

“Well, he wanted to do it tonight but I told him I had dinner plans with you so he changed it to Saturday. And then he’s going out of town for the first three days of next week. I guess that’ll give me plenty of time to think about our date and figure out what the hell I’m doing and if I’m in way over my head,” she said ruefully.

“You should have called me!” Chessy exclaimed. “We could have rescheduled.”

Kylie shook her head adamantly. “No. Friends come first and I’ve been worried about you, Chessy. I know you’ve been lonely and I know what that feels like. I don’t want you to feel like that ever. You come first.”

“You’re not the bitch you call yourself,” Chessy said firmly. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, honey. If I ever hear you disparage yourself again I’ll kick your ass. And I love you for it, but in the future? If you have an opportunity to go out with a delicious specimen of an alpha male like Jensen? We will reschedule. You and I can get together anytime. I think it’s wonderful that you’re venturing into the dating world. It’s time, Kylie. You’re ready. You need to do this for yourself. Prove to yourself that not all men are ass**les.”

Kylie’s heart filled with love for her friend. She missed Joss and couldn’t wait for her to return, even though it was selfish since Joss was on her honeymoon and should enjoy every minute of it. But Kylie loved Chessy and Joss. They were solid. Her anchor after Carson died. The only two people who’d kept her sane and had given her a reason to keep living.

They didn’t know that. Maybe they’d never know how much Kylie depended on them. But she couldn’t fathom her life without them.

“I’m going to try,” Kylie said truthfully. “I’m tired of being a coward. Of hiding from the world. Maybe Jensen is the one. Maybe he’s not. But at the very least he’s my opportunity to work on my courage.”