Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(26)

“Yes, I know and I’m sorry,” Chessy said. “I wish there was something we could do to help you. Have you considered talking to a therapist? Getting medication?”

“Now you sound like Jensen,” Kylie muttered.

“Honey, it doesn’t make you weak to ask for help,” Chessy said softly.

Chessy well knew Kylie’s hatred of appearing weak. It was the one thing Kylie had confided in her best friends. She hated feeling powerless, like she wasn’t solidly in control of her life and her surroundings. Hell, maybe she did need a shrink, but the very idea of sharing deep dark secrets she’d never confided in anyone with a complete stranger freaked her out.

Kylie shook her head. “I can’t, Chessy. I don’t expect you to understand. Hell, I barely understand it myself. But the idea of allowing a complete stranger inside my head scares me to death. I think it would only make things worse, not better.”

“You can talk to me, you know,” Chessy said quietly. “You know I’d never betray your confidence. I wouldn’t even tell Joss if you didn’t want me to. And I certainly wouldn’t share anything you told me with Tate.”

“I love you,” Kylie said sincerely. “I don’t know what I’d do without you and Joss. I don’t know why y’all put up with me. I know I’m bitchy and prickly. It baffles me why either of you want to be my friend. I’ve said some horrible things. Just look at how I ripped into Joss when she and Dash got together. It still embarrasses me when I think about it. Joss didn’t deserve my vitriol. I acted like such a hateful shrew.”

Chessy smiled, her eyes softening with love. Unconditional, unwavering love. Something Kylie had never experienced except with Carson. It still unbalanced her. At times it even made her uncomfortable, which was pretty messed up when she thought about it. But the simple truth was she didn’t know how to handle such devotion and loyalty because she’d never had it.

“You’re a wonderful person, Kylie. And a very loyal, loving friend. Joss and I are lucky to have you. And hell, no one is perfect. We’ve all been bitchy with each other at some point. That’s how friendship works. You hurt the people you love the most but then you apologize and you forgive and you move on, even better friends than before. Joss certainly doesn’t hold any animosity for the things you said. She knew you were upset and out of sorts. Heck, I didn’t even see that one coming. Her and Dash? Or that Dash had a thing for her for so long? I mean, like I told you both in the beginning, there was a time I suspected, but then so much time went by and Dash never acted so I thought I’d imagined the way he looked at her. I think it took us all by surprise. Even Tate.”

“You’d tell me if things got bad between you and Tate, wouldn’t you, Chessy?” Kylie asked. “You know I’d do anything at all to help you.”

Sadness entered Chessy’s eyes again and Kylie cursed the fact she’d ruined the mood. Again. Her and her big mouth. She was going to have to seriously work on the bitchy, prickly part of her personality. Her friends didn’t deserve that from her. They deserved better. They deserved the person Kylie hoped to become.

“Thanks for the offer, hon, but I’m not going anywhere and Tate sure as hell isn’t either. I’ll tie him to the bed if it becomes necessary, never mind it’s usually him tying me to the bed.”

Chessy’s eyes sparkled with humor and Kylie breathed a sigh of relief that the mood had lightened.

Kylie grinned mischievously. “Okay, here’s one for you then. You can never accuse me of holding out on you after I tell you this. And if you ever tell anyone, I’ll kill you!”

“What?” Chessy demanded. “This has to be good if you’re getting all serious on me.”

Kylie laughed. “You’ll laugh. I couldn’t laugh at the time. I was pretty freaked-out. But now? I have to admit, it’s pretty damn funny, especially in light of the kind of guy Jensen is.”

“Don’t make me drag it out of you!” Chessy growled. “Spill!”

“Okay, so Jensen wanted me to work with him on this latest contract. Completely shocked me. I mean I’m their office manager. I don’t get involved in the actual dealings with their clients. Only, he wanted my input. And he took my suggestions seriously. Then insisted I go with him to the meeting. But we met at Capitol Grill the night before to go over the final proposal.”

“And?” Chessy said, leaning forward eagerly.

Kylie grimaced. “I freaked. I mean completely freaked out. I saw someone who reminded me of my father. I’m so embarrassed over it now, but to me it was real. It was like looking at him. He was just a few tables away and I lost it. Complete meltdown and panic attack.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” Chessy said, her face drawn in sympathy.

“So Jensen gets all worried and goes into alpha protective mode.”

“Okay, stop a moment and let me savor that image,” Chessy said, shivering in exaggerated delight. “Because that is just too good not to imagine.”

Kylie laughed. “At the time I didn’t even really notice, but yeah, he’s pretty impressive in alpha protective mode. Not the kind of guy I’d usually even give a second glance but I have to admit, he made me feel . . . safe.”

Chessy smiled. “I know that feeling well. Tate does the same for me. I just feel . . . safe. Like nothing can ever hurt me. That he’d go to the wall for me and never allow anything to happen to me. So? Go on. What happened next?”