Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(25)

Kylie had even worried that Tate was somehow abusing her, though Joss had been adamant that it wasn’t even a possibility. But then Joss hadn’t seen the darker side of men like Kylie had. She knew that behind a perfectly polished exterior sometimes lay a monster.

“Is everything okay between you and Tate?” Kylie asked bluntly, finally putting to question what she and Joss had both privately wondered over the last few months.

Chessy looked startled, but it was the hesitation that sold Kylie on the idea that she wasn’t far off the mark. Chessy didn’t immediately deny it, nor did she act horrified over the idea. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all. Just sat there with those sad eyes.

“Everything is fine,” Chessy finally said lightly, though her lips weren’t smiling. “I guess I’m just feeling lonely. I see so little of Tate and— I guess that isn’t true. I do see him, but never in private. We’re always entertaining clients or in a public setting. What we haven’t had is time together, if you know what I mean.”

“But are you happy?” Kylie persisted.

Chessy glanced down, not meeting Kylie’s gaze. “No,” she said softly. “Not now anyway. It’s silly. I’m being selfish. Tate takes very good care of me. He’s busting his ass because he wants to provide for me. For us. For me to never want for anything. But all I want is him, Kylie. Not money. Not things. I just want him and for things to be the way they were before.”

“That’s not selfish,” Kylie said. “Have you talked to him? Have you told him how you feel?”

Chessy shook her head. “I can’t. It would destroy him if he thought he was making me unhappy by doing the one thing he thinks will make me happy. I just have to ride it out. Things will get better. Marriage isn’t easy. If it was, there wouldn’t be so many divorces, and the last thing I want is to plant a seed of doubt in Tate’s mind. I don’t want out. I just want him. I love him so much.”

Kylie reached across the table and squeezed her friend’s hand. “I know you do. And I know he loves you. It’ll work out, Chessy. You have to believe that. Have you given any more thought to whether he’s cheating? I know that was a concern, however brief, and you didn’t want to ask him because of what it would do to your relationship if he thought you ever doubted him.”

Though Joss had been the first person Chessy had confided in, Chessy had later brought up the issue with both Joss and Kylie, but only after Chessy had made Kylie swear she wouldn’t confront Tate over it. Kylie was more of a take-the-bull-by-the-horns kind of girl, not as sweet and understanding as Joss. And well, maybe Kylie would have confronted Tate if Chessy hadn’t exacted the promise from her. She hated the idea of her friend hurting in any way. And she knew, whatever the reasons why, that Chessy wasn’t happy and she hated that she couldn’t fix this for her friend.

Kylie had never admitted to Chessy that she’d been concerned that Tate abused her. She’d only shared that fear with Joss. She was glad now she hadn’t because it might have caused an unmendable rift in their relationship. And Kylie was trained to believe the worst of people. She’d very likely overreacted. She didn’t really believe Tate was capable of abusing Chessy, but then such was the case of many abusive men.

Chessy shook her head. “I was being silly and emotional. I don’t really believe he’d ever cheat. I can’t allow myself to even think that way or the seed of doubt will be planted and it will just drive me crazy. Besides, when would he have time to see another woman? I know he loves me. I really do. It’s just hard right now. I wanted to start trying to have a baby. It’s what we both want, or did want. Now I’m not so sure. Tate hasn’t talked about it lately. The one time I mentioned it, he said he’d rather wait until his business was more secure. So I haven’t brought it back up again. And maybe I’m just looking for something to fill the void so I’m not so lonely all the time. Which is a pretty lame reason for having a child.”

Kylie grimaced in sympathy. But she agreed that Chessy should wait. Kylie wasn’t altogether certain things were that good even though Chessy made the best of it. Bringing a child into an uncertain situation would only make it worse. If Tate was gone so much, how would Chessy cope with being a new mother without her husband as a support system?

But she kept those thoughts to herself because she didn’t want to upset Chessy any more than she already was. Her heart ached for her friend. Loneliness was an emotion Kylie was intimately acquainted with.

She made a mental note to spend more time with Chessy, especially while Joss was gone on her honeymoon.

“But let’s get back to you and Jensen,” Chessy said, the teasing light back in her eyes. “How on earth did the two of you hook up? Is it one of those office romance things we read about in novels?”

Kylie snorted. “At first I thought he was an overbearing ass whose sole ambition was to make my life miserable. He told me I looked like hell. What a great prelude to asking me out on a date, right?”

Chessy seemed to choose her words carefully. “He wasn’t wrong, exactly, hon. You do look . . . tired. Have you been having nightmares again?”

Kylie shrugged indifferently. “When don’t I have nightmares? It’s not something you can just get over, you know.”

She hated when they spoke of things personal to her. She was much more comfortable talking about Chessy or Joss and what was going on with them. She rarely ever volunteered personal information because she didn’t want her friends to worry. They knew of her childhood. Joss knew because of Carson and Chessy had learned after they’d become friends. But them knowing didn’t mean it was a subject open to speculation.