Forbidden Falls (Virgin River #9)(45)

“Let me ask you something—does Mrs. Haggerty like children?”

“She wants a houseful. I was really looking forward to starting on that.”

“Did you ever discuss a possible adoption?”

“No. And we sure never talked about adopting an ex-girlfriend’s offspring.” Paul sighed heavily. “She’s going to kill me,” he muttered. Then he said to Scott, “I’m going to need a car seat. And all her stuff.”

Paul was all checked out on the car-seat installation because of little Mattie. He rigged up the mirror so he could see her from the driver’s seat. The truck bed was filled with her gear, from crib to high chair. He was a little rusty on changing and cleaning up a little girl baby—but he had nieces and had been roped into babysitting a few times when they were small, so it all came back to him.

He could have called Vanessa before heading out of Grants Pass to say, “She left me a child.” But frankly, the whole thing scared him to death. He just made sure Hannah was dry and clean, gave her a bottle to drink as they started the trip and headed for home.

“I should’ve called her,” he told Hannah. “That was stupid, not calling. It would have given her a good four hours to think. But see, when I thought about taking you home, it was obviously a bad idea. Just didn’t fit into our family plan. All that made sense, until I saw you. Until you blew raspberries on my neck.”

Hannah took the bottle out of her mouth and belched loudly.

“Good one!” Paul said, praising her. “Drink the rest of that bottle and close your eyes. It’s a long drive.”

“Ma!” she said loudly.

“Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me. But, hey, you might try that ‘Ma!’ thing on Vanessa when you meet her. You’re going to need all the help you can get.”

He drove in silence for a while, barely hearing the soft suckling sound of Hannah finishing her bottle. In a voice quiet enough that the little girl might not have heard, he said, “Your mother was a good person. She was beautiful like you and very funny. That’s why I called her the first time—she was fun. I think you got her sense of humor. And obviously she wanted the best for you. Not that I’m the best—but the way she looked out for you, in case something happened, that’s what a mother who cares does—makes sure you’re going to be okay.” He cleared his throat. “And I’ll make sure. Me and Scott Hanson—we’ll make sure.”

He thought he should probably rehearse what he was going to say to Vanessa, but nothing came to mind. It wasn’t exactly that he took one look at the beautiful little girl and completely reversed his position. Not at all. It still didn’t work into his plans for the future. But he did take one look and decided you don’t just turn your back on a human being, a helpless child, and leave her to a system that may not serve her best interests. Someone had to be her advocate. And while Paul didn’t think it should be him, he really couldn’t think of anyone better for the job. Certainly not a biological father who had abandoned her when she was a mere seedling.

Paul pulled into a parking lot before heading into Virgin River to change and freshen Hannah, smear a little lotion on her and make sure she looked and smelled extra sweet. God, but she was beautiful. And while he carried her on his hip to walk to the trash can to pitch the dirty diaper, she put her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth against his cheek four straight times, a baby kiss that didn’t quite pucker, and then she giggled.

And Paul cried.

He pulled her close and tears ran silently down his cheeks. He gulped a few times. His voice was a whisper. “See, I wasn’t in love with her, but she was a very good person. She wanted you very much, even if she had to go it alone. I was almost sorry it turned out I wasn’t your dad. That would’ve given you one more person to protect you.”

And she put her lips against his cheek again.

“This shouldn’t have happened to you,” he said, smoothing her curls with his big, callused hand. “You shouldn’t have been left with no one.”

“Ma!” She put her head down on his shoulder.

“Come on, lollipop. We gotta take you to meet the family.” He took a deep breath. “Brace yourself.”

When he pulled up to his house, he gave the horn a toot. He pulled Hannah out of the car seat and held her on his hip. Vanessa came out onto the porch, Mattie toddling behind her.

“Guess what Terri left me?” he said.

Vanessa was stunned into total silence, staring at Paul with a baby on his hip. Mattie clung to her leg.

“Don’t panic,” Paul said. “Let’s just talk for a few minutes.”

“Oh, God,” she said, her eyes as round as doughnuts. “Paul, what have you done?”

He took a breath. “The only thing I could think of at the time,” he said lamely.

Vanessa turned and, taking Mattie by the hand, walked back into the house.

Paul followed, without even grabbing Hannah’s diaper bag. They sat in the great room opposite each other, Mattie on Vanni’s lap and Hannah on Paul’s. Paul thought this was what a family-counseling session must look like when the family is at odds—separated by space, watching each other warily.

“Why?” Vanessa asked with a desperate sound.

“Why what?” Paul returned.