Ceaseless (Existence Trilogy #3)(41)

“You sure? Because something sounds wrong.”

“I miss you,” I managed to choke out without crying.

“Oh, baby. I miss you too! Are you homesick? I could come visit. Do you want me to come visit?”

No. I didn’t want her to come visit because I may not let her leave me. “No. I’m fine. I just wanted to hear your voice this morning and tell you that I miss your pancakes. A caramel latte just isn’t the same thing.”

Mom chuckled into the phone. “Well as soon as you get home for Thanksgiving break I will have pancakes waiting for you.”

“Thanks. I can look forward to those. I need to go now. I’ve got to get dressed.”

“Alright. Don’t be late for class. Call me anytime you want to. You’re a beautiful, smart girl and you’ll find your place there real soon.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”

“Love you, Honey. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I dropped the phone onto the bed and stood up to go get a shower. My eyes landed on the silver Celtic knot that had once hung around Dank’s neck. It was lying on top of my notebook. I started to reach for it and stopped. I wasn’t sure how it got here and why it was here. I’d told him to leave me alone. I didn’t like thinking he could be in my room while I was sleeping. I hurried to the bathroom. Getting out of this room and in the real world where people had bodies and weren’t immortal was my ultimate goal.

When I opened the front door of the dorm to head to class I stopped when Jay shoved off from the railing he had been leaning on. He had a coffee in his hands. I knew Jay didn’t drink coffee.

“Good morning,” he said smiling and holding the coffee out toward me. “Caramel latte with whipped cream.”

“Thank you,” I replied taking the cup from him. “What did I do to deserve morning coffee service?”

Jay shrugged, “It gave me a reason to see you. Miranda told me what time you left this morning and I thought I’d see if I could score some bonus points. The fact I get to start my day with you was a pretty big draw.”

Smiling I took a sip of the coffee then sighed my approval. “Well, thank you. That’s really sweet.”

“I had one more ulterior motive,” he said and rubbed his hands together. That was his nervous gesture. I knew it well.

“Okay, but can we discuss it on my way to class, so I’m not late?” I asked stepping up beside him.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” We walked down the stairs and headed for the sidewalk that led to the front of the English building.

“Okay. What is it you want that you got up to come bribe me with coffee this early in the morning?”

“I was wondering if there was any chance you’d give me one more chance at a date. Just friends, but, well not just friends. I want to spend time with you. Maybe we could go out to eat and bowling. You used to kick my tail at bowling.”

Under normal circumstances, this would have been a definite no. However, I was lonely. I needed friends. Jay had been my friend for several years. Spending time with him wasn’t the worst idea in the world. Hanging out with Death was the worst idea in the world. This was definitely a step up; at least he was human. He wasn’t as sexy and his kisses didn’t make my toes curl, but he was nice enough. I couldn’t measure other guys against Dank. It was unfair. He wasn’t human so therefore a human could not compete.

“Sure. That sounds like fun. When do you want to do this?”

Jay stopped walking and looked over at me as if he didn’t believe I’d just said yes. He started walking again grinning like I’d just offered him money instead of agreed to a date. “Uh, tomorrow night. We don’t have school the next morning.”

Sure. I needed something to do. “Sounds like a plan.”

***

Three weeks later and I’d found a comfortable pattern with Jay. He brought me coffee three days a week and walked me to class. We went out to eat with Miranda and Nathan on Tuesdays, we went bowling on Thursdays and Friday night was dinner and a movie. It was exactly like high school. Everything was very organized and very boring.

The one thing I’d learned was that having someone with you all the time did not take away the loneliness. You could be surrounded by people and be lonely. Something was missing. I could almost pinpoint it, but right when it was within my grasp I forgot; it just slipped away.

Tonight I was supposed to go to a study group for my literature class that Dank was no longer in. It bothered me that I missed him. I shouldn’t miss him. The excitement of walking into class knowing he might be there was gone now. I had the excitement of a well planned out relationship. I grabbed my book bag and headed out the door and down the steps. The loud screeching of metal and horns blaring stopped me. Then the twisting, crunching sound of metal against metal filled the air. People began pouring out of the dorm to see what happened. I walked with the crowd closer to the street where the two cars that had collided were now still. Smoke was streaming out of the hoods. The smaller car was upside down. I heard people screaming to call 911; others were crying.

The shattering of glass drew everyone’s attention to the car that had flipped. The weight the SUV was putting on the windows must have been too much. No one was moving in either car. I heard girls on their phones around me making phone calls and telling other people about the wreck. No one seemed to know who it was just yet.