Blonde & Blue (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #4)(53)

“Go ahead and say it.” With a roll of her eyes, she took the bag of fattening food from me, going for the ice cream right away. “Yes, I do feel as bad as I look.”

I followed her through the small but impressive kitchen where she paused to grab two spoons before continuing to the living room beyond. For an apartment, the ceiling was especially high. The furniture was simple black leather, all of it matching. The sound of vehicles on the street below drifted in through the open balcony door. I took a seat beside her on the couch and glanced at the television. She was watching Jeopardy.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, Jez. I should have been able to. I tried, but I just couldn’t focus.” I accepted the spoon she held out to me. Drowning my recent worries in ice cream really paled in comparison to the booze and blood I’d rather be drowning them in.

“It’s ok, Lex. I’m fine. And, Kale is the one that tried to kill me. Don’t you go feeling all guilty about someone else’s mistake.” Jez shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and sighed. “Thanks. I totally needed this.”

Jez needed a sugary treat, and I would have gladly traded it for warm, lively blood. I frowned as I turned that thought over in my mind. It made me feel like a monster. The irony was that she was the one who had never been human.

“Have you heard from him?” I hid a wince when I asked. I could only imagine what Jez was feeling toward Kale right now.

“He’s called. I’ve ignored those calls. I have nothing to say to him right now.” Crossing her legs and settling back into the corner of the couch, she met my gaze. “I just can’t believe he tried to kill me. Kale. Of all people. I get it: the guy has issues. But really? I would have expected it from you first. No offense.”

I took a bite of ice cream, finding that my stomach instantly rejected the sweet substance. “None taken. How did it happen?”

“I walked into the office, and he was there. I knew he was a mess just from the looks of him. It all happened pretty fast.” Emotion swam behind her eyes. She must have relived it so many times already. “How many people did he hurt after that? Do you know?”

I nodded, suddenly finding it hard to maintain eye contact. “A few. It was bad. I tracked him down at The Wicked Kiss. We had a bit of a confrontation. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

Jez’ spoon stopped halfway to the ice cream container. Staring at Jeopardy as if it was suddenly the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen did nothing to help me escape the moment. She might have been recovering from her dance with death, but the leopard was as sharp as ever.

“Alexa? Did you do something?” She studied me hard, and I shrank back until my back was pressed against the opposite side of the sofa. “You finally f**king did it. You screwed Kale. And, after what he did to me?”

“It wasn’t like that, Jez. I didn’t go after him with that kind of intention. You know that. Things got carried away. There was a confrontation. He hurt me. I hurt him. Something changed, and the next thing I knew …” It was hard to say it out loud. She gestured for me to spit it out. “The next thing I knew he had me up against the side of the building in the rain.”

“I can’t believe you f**ked the guy after he tried to kill me. You’re lucky I love you so much, or I’d claw your damn eyes out.” She shook her head and mustered a glare. “Well, go on. You have to tell me about it.”

“What? Oh no. That’s not necessary. Besides, there’s nothing to tell.”

“Yes, there damn well is. Start talking. If you can do it, you can tell me about it.”

I found some relief in the fact that nobody in my life would ask for details except Jez. However, I wasn’t sure I was ready to relive the encounter with Kale. I’d done my best to shove it from my thoughts.

“It was sudden and out of control. We were idiots to let it happen. I can barely think about it.” I met her scrutinizing feline stare and felt like a mouse. With a sigh, I gave in and recounted the events of that night, omitting the really candid details that nobody but Kale and I needed to know.

When I finished, she wore a strange smile. “I knew it would happen. Gotta say, I think it’s only going to make you both crazier than you already are.”

“Yeah well, you’re not the only one.” With a groan, I told her about Arys’ quick discovery of my little indiscretion and the talk we’d had after. “The worst part is I think he’s right. I love Kale so much. But, I’m not in love with him, and I can never be what he needs. Even saying that, part of me still wants that connection. He shares something with me that I can’t share with anyone else. It’s so selfish, I know. I’m totally ashamed of myself.”

Jez looked thoughtful as she continued to feast on ice cream. “What is liquid nitrogen?” Her response momentarily threw me until I realized she was responding to the television. Alex Trebek confirmed her answer to be correct.

“Sorry,” she said to me. “I don’t think rushing to believe what Arys tells you is the wisest move. This thing with you and Kale, it didn’t happen overnight. He’s not on my list of favorite people right now. But, he’s still Kale, and we care about him. Whatever it is between you two, don’t be too quick to write it off because of what Arys said.”

“You’re not helping, Jez.” I slumped in my seat, turning the spoon over in my hand. I had no appetite for ice cream. “This is confusing enough as it is. I haven’t told Shaz.”