Until I Saw You(15)

I don’t get the words out because Allen’s hand tightens in my hair, wrapping it around his fingers and holding me prisoner. Then he takes my mouth almost violently. His tongue pushes between my lips without waiting for an invitation. He ravages me, taking the kiss over and holding me right where he wants me.

“I don’t want you with another man, Jessie. I don’t want you with anyone but me,” he growls when we break apart. He flips us so that I’m on the bottom now and he’s over me, his face looking almost angry. “I don’t want anyone touching you,” he adds.

“I don’t either, Allen, just you,” I tell him, giving him the complete truth.

He stares at me intently before he bends his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I cry in shock. I wasn’t expecting it, but also it feels so good my body trembles in response. His tongue wraps around my nipple and my head pushes back against the pillow as I close my eyes, memorizing every sensation. He sucks again, trapping the nipple between his teeth just as his hand begins torturing my other breast.

“Just me, Jessie,” he growls, pinching one nipple as his mouth releases the other. “Just me,” he says again, blowing on the wet, distended nub that’s aching to be back in his mouth.

“That feels so good,” I moan, my hips pushing up against his body in reaction. “I need more,” I whimper.

“I’ll give you more,” he growls. “Only me,” he adds just as his fingers slide between my legs.





15





Allen





My fingers push between the lips of Jessie’s pussy only to be instantly enveloped by her heat and the wet evidence of her desire. I find her clit and graze my finger over it a few times, spreading her juices with my finger and using that to help tease her. I can feel her body tremble beneath me and with each carefully organized swipe of my hand her fingers tighten in my hair.

Possessiveness sweeps through me in a wave of emotion I never knew existed. I was trying to do what was right, I was trying to be good to Jessie, but her words unleashed something inside of me I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t let her leave. I couldn’t let another man claim what was mine—even if it shouldn’t be.

“Allen!” she cries as I slide the tips of two of my fingers inside her. I don’t go deeply, I don’t want to hurt her; I need to make sure she’s ready to accept me. I’ve had limited sex in my life and never with a virgin, so I’m flying in the dark here. I just know that I want to make it good for her. Jessie is all that matters. I pray I don’t mess this up, that the memories continue to stay away so I can give her everything she needs. I want her to feel beautiful and special—because she’s all that and more. I sink my fingers in a little deeper and I can feel the evidence of virginity. I should probably use my fingers to break through it, stretching her before I try to go inside, but I can’t. Doing that seems to be cheating us both. I want her to feel me… my cock inside of her at the exact moment she loses her virginity. I want to be deep inside of her, watching her face; I want her to look at me, knowing I’m the one claiming her.

I reach over to the nightstand and take my wallet. Her eyes cloud with confusion as I sift through and find what I’m looking for. I don’t have much need for these things. Hell, this one has been in the back of my wallet for years. I put it in there when I hit my six months of being sober. There was a part of me that thought being clean and sober meant I would have a normal life, that I would want sex, that I would be free from the demons of my past.

I was so wrong, at least until Jessie… She has changed everything.

I drop everything to the ground except the condom and I look at her.

“I want to protect you,” I tell her. She has no idea of my past and couldn’t comprehend it, I’m sure. I’m clean. At first I was tested every six months during my sobriety and now every year, and I do that knowing there’s not a chance I could be infected with anything. Hell, I haven’t had sex in over four years and I’ve been sober for just as long—a little longer. But I keep getting tested because walking in that clinic is a reminder… a punch in the gut of how lucky I am. Because my first results and the ones after that might not have been good. I escaped my past by the skin of my teeth. I’ll never go back, but it doesn’t help to be reminded of what could have happened.

“Let me,” she says, taking the condom from my hand. My eyes never leave hers as we change positions and she’s sitting on her knees while I’m on my back. With trembling fingers, she wraps her hand around my hard cock and strokes me. She holds me timidly but by the second stroke her touch is much firmer. I hold my breath for a minute, afraid old ghosts will intrude—afraid I will remember the past and ruin everything. My gaze moves to her hold on my cock and just as the memories begin to try and push through, it’s Jessie that beats them back. Her hand moves under my chin and she pushes so that I look at her. “I want to see your eyes, Allen. Can I? I want to see them as I touch you. I want to make sure I’m doing this right…” she whispers, giving voice to her fears.

“You can have anything you want, Jessie,” I assure her, holding the side of her face gently, pushing my hand under her hair. She smiles, though I can still see a little fear on her face. She brings the condom wrapper to her mouth and tears the corner open with her teeth. It gives pretty easily and I find myself praying that condoms don’t have expiration dates. I have no fucking clue.