Until I Saw You(11)

“So let it live inside of you, but claim your woman.”

“Jessie deserves better.”

“So does Ana, but I’m keeping her and I try every day to make sure she never regrets being with me. Trust me, Allen. Do the same. You will regret it the rest of your life if you don’t.”

“And Jessie will regret it the rest of her life if she finds out. I can’t do that to her, Roman. She deserves better.”

Roman stands and claps his hand on my shoulder. Our gazes lock and that fire is still burning in his eyes. It’s burning so bright it feels like it’s touching me.

“In my book, Allen, there is no better. You might have started off Ana’s brother, but you’re mine now and I couldn’t be prouder.” He walks off after delivering that message. I just remain here once he leaves, feeling like I can’t breathe. I watch the man who saved my life, who helped me recover when I was below the bottom, a man I love and admire walk away after claiming me as part of his family. I close my eyes against the emotions that brings to the surface and my hands tighten into fists.

When I open my eyes it’s not Roman I see. It’s not even Ana or my nephew. It’s a vision that’s not even there. It’s a picture in my mind of Jessie smiling at me, her lips swollen from my kiss, her eyes filled with desire… desire for me.

Christ.





10





Jessie





“You know, I’ve lived here forever and I’ve never done this,” I laugh as Allen lifts me up in the horse-drawn carriage.

“Then I’d say it’s past time,” he says once he’s settled in beside me. He leans down and kisses my nose. Which is probably not sexy but it feels good, especially when he puts his arm around me. I lean into him, happier than I can ever remember being in my life.

“This is one of the reasons I love this city. The architecture of the buildings and just the atmosphere in general, it makes you feel like you are transported back in time. It honors our past… The city is entrenched in it.”

“You never thought of moving?” he asks.

“Not really. St. Augustine is home.”

“I get it. I’ve settled in Miami. It might not have been where I would pick, but it’s home now. It’s where my family is.”

“Your family?”

“My sister Ana, my nephew, and Ana’s husband Roman.”

“He’s the man you work for, right?”

“He’s my boss, but he’s more than that. I’ve never really had a friend before, but Roman has been there for me when no one else was. Actually I drove everyone else off and Roman refused to move. I mean, I get he was there because of my sister, but he didn’t have to be. I owe him everything.”

“I would have been there for you, Allen,” I tell him, my hand squeezing into his leg. I know I haven’t known him long, but I can’t imagine not being there for him anytime he needed me. I feel that drawn to him in ways I can’t truly understand. There’s a connection between us that defies explanation and I’m just going to embrace that—I’m that confident of it.

Allen’s dark eyes hold mine and there seems to be a storm brewing in them. Something in them—which I can’t name—sends a chill of alarm down my spine. Before I can question him, his hand comes out and slides against the side of my face.

“No, Mouse. You wouldn’t have been. No one could have saved me back then, especially you. I would have hated you for trying.”

I think over his words. They hurt me. There’s so much pain and self-loathing inside of them you can literally feel it. I bring my hand up to Allen’s and I hold him there. Needing that connection with him.

“It wouldn’t have mattered. I still would have been there,” I tell him, my voice strained by all of the emotions I’m feeling. It doesn’t make sense I feel this deeply for someone—especially so quickly, but I do. I’m not about to hide from it. It’s too important.

Allen’s too important.

“You didn’t know me back then, Jessie. I wasn’t a good person.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“Then you’re being na?ve.”

“I’m not.”

“Let’s not talk about this right now, Jessie.”

“But I want to.”

“I’m only in St. Augustine for a limited time. I’d rather not ruin our time together talking about my past.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I’m here for another week, but… My life is in Miami.”

“So I only have a week with you?”

“Jessie—”

“I should warn you of something, Allen.”

His face changes and he tilts his head to study me.

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to do my best to make you want to stay with me.”

“You won’t have to try very hard, Mouse,” he says quietly and he reaches down, bringing our lips together in a kiss that is definitely sweet but tinged with sadness too.

A kiss that tells me I have my work cut out for me if I’m going to reach Allen like I want to.