To Have It All(15)

Hugging her purse to her chest, she stared down at me. “When’s my birthday?”

“March 20, first day of Spring.”

“Mother’s maiden name?”

“Windsor.”

“What did I name the cat I found when I was ten but Grams sent her to the pound because she had fleas?”

“She was also pregnant, and you named her Hell Cat, Jr.”

She grilled me for the next ten minutes, asking me question after question. And even when I got every answer right, she still looked at me like I was a con-artist.

“High school sweetheart?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Benny Cartman. He was a tool, but he was better than Ron Billings who you gave your V-card to.”

Her mouth dropped open, her head whipping toward the bed where my body lay. “You bastard,” she gasped at my still body. “You swore you’d never tell.”

“I didn’t,” I insisted. She still didn’t believe me. “I know this because I am Liam, Hel. I am. I know it sounds fucking crazy, but it’s true.”

With a defeated sigh, she collapsed in the chair beside the bed. I could tell by the way she kept shaking her head she was trying to talk herself out of believing me, no matter how many right answers I gave to her questions. Finally, turning her head toward me, her gaze met mine and she asked, “If what you’re saying is true, and your Liam trapped in this body,” she motioned her hand at me where I sat on the floor, “then who is in your body?”

Pushing myself up from the floor, I exhaled loudly. “His name is Max. And I believe he’s in my body.”

As anyone who was asked to believe something impossible would do, she asked me a hundred questions about why this happened, and it didn’t make convincing her I was Liam any easier when I didn’t have any answers.

“There was no witchcraft or alien abduction,” I told her. “It just . . . happened.”

She sat quietly for a moment, her brow furrowing more and more the longer she sat. Then, looking up at me, her eyes welled up. “The prognosis isn’t good, Liam,” she said my name awkwardly. I guess looking at me as Max and calling me Liam felt weird. “They say you’re brain dead.”

Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths. It felt good to hear her call me Liam, for someone to know who I really was, but her words were brutal. Not just because of what she was saying, but because of how much pain was in her voice. “I don’t have any insurance, Hel. You can’t keep me on life support forever.”

Pressing her lips together, she attempted to stop herself from crying, but it didn’t work. “You asshole,” she finally said as she whimpered and wiped under her eyes. “I’ve been worried sick about you, wondering if you were dead; what had happened to you. Then I get a phone call, and my worst fear came true.”

My stomach knotted with her words and the emotion in her voice. “I’ve been ashamed,” I admitted remorsefully. “I didn’t know how to face you like this.” I motioned a hand toward my bed-ridden body.

“You know I’m always here for you.” Her gaze was fixed on the machines. “You could have stayed with us.”

“I’m the older brother, you shouldn’t have to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” she wailed as she cut a sharp look at me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat but said nothing. She was right. I was an asshole. After a few moments, her eyes fixed on the floor as if she was lost in thought, when she asked, “So what happens if we pull the plug?”

I turned my back to her and rubbed my face. Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “I don’t know.” Turning back to her, I shrugged.

“If we take you off support, and you . . .” she closed her eyes and swallowed hard because whatever she was about to say was going to be difficult. “If your body dies, then . . . does he,” she waved her hand at me, “die?” she could barely finish.

“That’s my best guess,” I surmised. “Or maybe . . .”

She looked up at me, giving me a moment to finish.

“Or maybe we switch back, and I die with my body. I don’t know.”

“This is crazy,” she said more to herself than me. “I want to believe you so badly. That you are Liam, but what if I’m just so desperate for my brother to be alive that I’d believe anything to have that? And if what you’re saying is true, there’s a good chance you’re going to go anyway.”

“I didn’t ask for this. I just made a fast choice to save this guy’s life,” I defended even though she wasn’t attacking me. “I didn’t want his life, or to put you through this.” Taking a deep breath, I worked hard to control my frustration. This wasn’t Helen’s fault, and the fact she was even still speaking to me at all was a huge step. I needed to accept she may need some time to really process this and believe it. “I understand your apprehension,” I told her. “And I know you don’t understand . . . I don’t understand either. Just give me some time to prove it. You know me, Helen. Better than anyone. If I can’t convince you, I can’t convince anyone.”

She bobbed her head a few times, a deep frown on her face. “They won’t let me keep you on life support for long. No insurance aside, you’re not showing any signs of brain activity.”