To Have It All(10)

Slipping my heels off my feet one at a time while I sat across from him, I chucked them at the community shoe pile by the back door. They thunked against the wall before landing on pairs of Matt’s giant Nike’s and work boots and Pim’s toddler-sized Disney-themed shoes.

“Why the hell did you wear those to meet with that douche anyway?”

I rolled my eyes. Not because his question annoyed me or that he was being ridiculous, but because I was ridiculous. Why did I wear heels to meet with Max? “It was stupid,” I admitted. “I guess I just wanted to look good, ya know? Make him suffer . . . if that’s even possible.”

One side of his mouth quirked up, but he was fighting the smile. When Matt was angry, he wanted to stay angry. “You look like the most successful social worker in New York,” he joked. He’d never been a fan of my career choice, but he’d always been supportive. He was the best that way; he only wanted me to be happy. He also knew, deep down, my desire to help others came from our childhood, a time when our mother had bailed and left is with our father who, try as he did, could never make ends meet. There were times when we didn’t have heat or shoes that fit. I wanted to help people like that; good people that didn’t just want a handout but needed a hand up. I was the modern day Ronald Reagan.

I smiled even though Matt was teasing me. I must have been insane to think becoming a social worker was a great career path, but one more year of college and I’d have my degree. I may never be successful financially, but I’d be a successful human being and that meant something to me.

Probably worried he’d hurt my feelings when I didn’t respond, he quickly added, “You were the best thing to happen to that asshole.”

I snorted and smirked a little. My brother thought that about every guy I’d ever dated. Growing up, our father had worked two jobs which kept him away from home a lot. With two absent parents, Matt took it upon himself to look out for me, protect me. So, of course he thought any guy I’d dated was an ‘asshole.’ It just happened to be true when it came to Max. “Not just look hot,” I clarified. “I wanted to look like I was doing well; that my life is good.”

“Did it work?” he asked.

I twisted my mouth in thought. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “He definitely isn’t the Max I remember. He seemed . . . different. But I’m not sure if that was a reflection of him seeing me or if he was messing with me.”

“Doesn’t sound so different to me,” Matt snuffed. “He didn’t sign the papers even though he said he would. Sounds like the same lame shit he always pulled.”

I couldn’t argue with him on that one. Max was never one to make anything easy. If he didn’t feel he was in complete control of a situation, he’d dig his heels in and make it as difficult as possible. Sometimes he did it simply by ignoring me; stonewalling. Grabbing Matt’s beer, I took a long swig before sliding it back to him. “I’ll give him a few days before I call him again.”

Matt shook his head. “He’s had enough time. You need to push harder.”

I’d thought about that, too. I had worried pestering and pushing Max would only make him resist more because he’d enjoy torturing me. Lawyering up and taking him to court had always been an option, but Max was wealthy. I had no doubt if I had tried taking him to court he’d assemble some legal dream team and annihilate me. I needed to think about that, but at that moment, I was beat. Walking around New York City in heels, plus over an hour on the metro, and Max refusing to sign the papers had siphoned the energy right out of me.

“You excited about your trip?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. Matt and his girlfriend Alice were leaving for a two-week tour of Europe. They’d been saving for the trip for years.

Matt bobbed his head a few times. “Ready for some time off from work, that’s for sure.” I frowned. Matt worked so hard and had a serious girlfriend, but still found the time and energy to help me with Pimberly.

“Can you guys pack Pim and me in your suitcase so we can go too?” I joked.

“I wish you guys were going. I’ll be worried about you two the entire time.”

“We’ll be fine Matt,” I assured him. “You deserve the best vacation. Do not worry about anything here at home.”

He grunted, his way of agreeing to disagree. I knew no matter what I said, there was no way he wouldn’t worry about us.

“I’ve got an early class tomorrow,” I yawned as I stretched, reaching my arms above my head. I was exhausted. “I’m gonna head to bed. Pim’s lunch for Ms. Patty’s is in the fridge and don’t forget tomorrow is show and tell.”

“She’s not even two,” Matt snickered. “What the hell is she going to take for show and tell?”

“Her giraffe, of course.” Pim slept with it every night and took it everywhere with her. “Ms. Patty just wants the kids to have fun. Show and tell is fun.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt muttered. “Ms. Patty’s a nice lady, Waverly, but I just think she’s got too many kids under her watch.”

“That’s how in-home daycare works, Matt. Besides, Pim loves her, and Ms. Patty watches those kids like a hawk.” And my biggest defense for Ms. Patty was the price; daycare centers were astronomical. And since my only income was from student loans, I had to save every dime I could.