To Have It All(16)

I growled, frustrated with the unknown and complications of this situation. If they took my body off life support, Max might die with my body. Or we could switch back and maybe I’d go with my body. There were too many unknowns. I needed some time to think about it. I didn’t want to hinder Max’s life in any way, or make a decision that could harm him. Yeah, the guy really was an asshole, but I wasn’t. Being the bigger and better person is a choice. If there was a chance he could die in my body, I had to try to stop that from happening. If there was a chance my body could be saved through some medical miracle, then he owed that chance to me.

“He’s a millionaire,” I stated. “I can access his money. Max could foot the bill to buy us some time. Maybe . . . maybe there will be a miracle. Maybe my body will miraculously heal and wake up?” I didn’t believe it and judging by the deep frown still seated on her face, I knew Helen didn’t either. “Let’s give it a couple of weeks. See what happens.”

She nodded a few times before standing and fussing with the blankets over my body.

“You don’t need to be here every day. Okay?”

She nodded again.

I think at that exact moment, she truly believed me, but a small part of her thought it was too good to be true; that her brother, although in another man’s body, was alive.

I hugged her. It was awkward at first because she just leaned against me, her arms limp at her sides, but after a few moments she embraced me and sobbed into my chest. “Everything is going to be okay, Hel,” I said, but I didn’t quite believe it myself. I had no fucking idea what was going to happen. We talked a bit longer. I gave her Max’s address and called her phone from Max’s so she had the number.

When we walked out of the hospital together, she punched my arm. “Don’t freaking disappear again,” she warned.

“Ow,” I mocked pain. It hurt. A little. My sister was no sissy. “I won’t,” I promised. “By the way, who is the baby daddy?”

She snorted, amused by the way I asked the question. “His name is Brian. He’s an insurance salesman. He’s very nice.”

I raised one eyebrow in question. “He good to you?”

Smirking, she bobbed her head up and down as she glided one hand over her belly. “He’s real good to me. Won’t even let me work now that I’m pregnant. Wants to get married before the baby is born.”

“You want that?”

Her sad gaze met mine. “As soon as my big brother can walk me down the aisle.”

I worked hard to control my expression, not wanting her to see how much her words had hit me. Grabbing her head, I pulled her to me and kissed her temple. “Everything is going to be okay, Hel.” It might not have been true, but maybe if I kept saying it over and over again, I’d believe it.

Later, after walking around listlessly, I entered the lobby of Max’s building, Braxton perked up from behind the desk.

“Evening, Braxton,” I called and gave a small wave.

He stared at me. The same blank look he’d given me earlier. Did I do something out of character for Max? Did he not even offer a simple goodnight to people?

“Evening, Mr. Porter,” Braxton eventually replied, tipping his hat to me, the same blank look on his face. “Oh, by the way,” he chirped, rushing over to me.

Leaning in, he informed me in a hushed voice, “I found it.”

“Found it?” I questioned.

“Yes and had it shipped to the shop as you instructed. It arrived there today. I wanted to tell you earlier, but you seemed to be in a hurry.” We stared at each other a moment, and it occurred to me he was waiting for me. Maybe I should tip him for whatever he did. You’re supposed to tip doormen, right? Or rich people do anyway. I wasn’t sure. I was out of my league here.

“What do I owe you, Braxton?” I finally asked as I reached in my back pocket.

He held his hands up. “Not a thing, sir. I was happy to help you make your dream come true.”

Dream? I wondered what a man like Max could dream of when he seemed to have everything.

I had no idea what in the hell Braxton was talking about and I worried questioning him would just send up flags that Max was not himself. “Okay. Well, thank you.” I smiled and gave him a hard pat on the back, causing his eyes to widen. “Good job.”

His features were contorted with uncertainty, but he bobbed his head once. “Good night, sir.” Whatever he was talking about I figured would come to light eventually. Right now, I had too many other things to worry about.

When I reached Max’s apartment, I went inside and stood in the middle of the living room. The city lights shone through the tall windows, dimly illuminating the room. Living on the streets was scary, but in the cover and safety of Max’s home, I was more scared than I’d ever been in my life. On the street, I knew who I was, and I knew my lot in life, but here I knew nothing. I didn’t know who Max really was. I didn’t know why this had happened, and I didn’t know what would happen. The unknown is a scary thing.

There were so many nights that I lay on park benches or streets, wishing I were anywhere else; a warm, safe place, but now I’d go back in a heartbeat. This was not my home. This was not my body. This was not my life. Why was this happening? Was I being punished? With a heavy sigh, I meandered into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed. It was soft, and the sheets were silk, and I should have relished the feeling of a warm comfy bed for the first time in what felt like forever, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. After tossing and turning, I gave up and lay down on the floor on my side. Maybe Max lived in a fancy apartment and had plenty of money—what most men wanted and strived to accomplish in their lifetime—but I wasn’t Max. Which meant even though I possessed his body, these things were not mine.