Through the Fire (Daughter of Fire, #1)(47)

“What happened?”

I told Aiden the basics of my reunion with Clay, how happy we’d been until it all went wrong, and how he’d saved my life by distracting his family at the critical time.

“Wait. Repeat that last part . . . he saved your life?”

I nodded.

“And he’s in the Rain? The Rain? As in the organization consisting of humans who are all hell-bent on destroying every other in existence?” Aiden asked in disbelief. “That Rain?”

I sobbed in response to his words. They were a sobering reminder of both the reality that might be waiting if I actually succeeded in finding Clay and of all the reasons he’d left me. Back then he might have been able to overlook his nature for me. Could he still?

Aiden wrapped his arm around me as I nodded again. “Do you believe that he loves you in return?”

“I don’t know,” I muttered as I nestled into his shoulder and allowed my tears to flow freely. “When he first left, I would have said yes without a doubt. He told me so often enough. But now . . . it’s been more than two years. What might have changed in that time?”

“Is he the reason you’d given up when I found you?”

Shaking my head, I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “He was the reason I lasted as long as I did before I gave up.”

Aiden asked a few more questions about Clay, showing a genuine interest in finding out more about the boy who’d stolen my heart. Aiden asked about Clay’s family and about the reason behind our separation. It seemed as though he wanted to help me reunite with Clay.

“I brought this for you from the kitchen,” Aiden said, holding up a bagged sandwich. “I had thought you might have been hungry after skipping dinner. Of course, I was not aware then that you intended to say goodbye. You should still have it though. Who knows when your next meal might be otherwise?”

He held it out to me, and I shook my head. “I can’t take that. If I’m leaving here, I need to have a clear head. I can’t have any more enchanted food.”

“When did you last eat?” he asked.

“Breakfast.”

“Then you probably only have a few hours’ worth of enchantment left at most,” he said, sounding worried by the prospect.

“I know.” After the first time the enchantments had worn off, on North Brothers Island, I’d conducted some experiments. Since then, I’d come to learn exactly how long I could go between eating enchanted food. I actually had less time than he thought. Because of the energy it took to keep my body heated, my fast metabolism burned through the enchantments quicker than most. I would be lucky to make it through the conversation and get back outside before the effects wore off entirely.

“Take this with you,” he said, pulling a smooth stone with a small hole in the middle from his pocket and pressing it into my palm.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It is a seeing stone. It is infused with fae magic, if you look through it, you will be able to see our world.”

“Why didn’t you just give this to me when we first met?”

“You can only see the world, you cannot join it like you are able to with the enchantments in our food. Take the stone. If you change your mind in the next few weeks, you will be able to find your way back home to us.”

Shaking my head, I placed the cool, smooth stone onto my bed. “I’ve enjoyed my time here, I really have. It’s helped me to heal in ways I never imagined possible. But it was never really my home,” I said softly. “And I won’t be coming back.”

Although I couldn’t explain my logic to Aiden, I was certain I was saying a permanent goodbye. Once I left, I would hunt for Clay until I found him. If he still loved me in return, if there wasn’t already a wife, kids, god knows what else with someone else, we could start our life together. If he didn’t . . . well, I probably wouldn’t survive long enough to return to the court anyway.

Standing, I pulled my bag from the side of the bed where it was resting, already packed and ready to go.

Aiden stood in front of me, blocking my path for a moment. “Are you confident about this course?” he asked quietly.

Reaching my hand up, I stroked his cheek gently. I honestly owed him more thanks than I was offering him, but there was nothing that could stop me from leaving any longer. My self-delusion that I could be happy with Aiden had run its course. All that remained was hope for a reunion with Clay. I was stronger now than I had been before. I could only hope Clay would be too. Together, maybe we could stand a chance against the world.

Rubbing my thumb gently along Aiden’s cheekbone, I pressed my mouth against his in one final goodbye kiss.

Unlike the goodbye kisses Clay and I had shared, there were no tears of regret or sorrow. No hint of promises to come. Rather than lingering as neither person was willing to be the first to give up, it was a proper goodbye kiss: swift and sure. Over almost before it started. I stepped away from Aiden and swept from the room—and from the court—before I could second-guess my judgment.

By the time I reached the street and turned back to look at the fae building resting on the East Meadow of Central Park, the last of the fairy enchantments were wearing off. Standing on the pathway facing what had been my shelter from the world for just over ten months, I watched as it faded away from my vision.