The Psychopath: A True Story(63)
They discovered that psychopaths were more likely to talk about their crime in terms of being instrumental. In other words, the psychopaths committed their crimes in order to accomplish a particular aim, whereas non-psychopaths tended to commit their crimes in a reactionary way, such as killing a lover after discovering they had been unfaithful. When talking about their crimes the psychopaths used darker language and referenced their crimes as being further in the past as if they had distanced themselves more from their actions. The psychopaths also talked far more about their basic needs during the crimes. They noted what they had eaten that day, what they had drunk, the money they had gained, whereas non-psychopathic killers tended to concentrate on other subjects like religion, spirituality and family.
Dr Hancock surmised that on Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ psychopaths are more interested in a lower level of basic needs than empathic people, that is food, water, money, shelter, than the higher-level needs of family, self-esteem and self-actualisation. This might be because psychopaths already have an internal grandiose ideal of who they are and therefore don’t need to think about it, but instead are interested in their material needs. It was the psychopaths’ interest in talking about what they had eaten on the day they killed someone that gave the report its title, Hungry like the wolf.
Woodworth stated, ‘You can spend two or three hours with a psychopath and come out feeling hypnotised.’ The level of body language and distraction they use is key here, as well as the fact that they use this technique to distract people from the underlying message. They are so good at manipulating people face to face it is disturbing, even for qualified research specialists.
So although their language is quite distinct, their face-to-face and non-verbal communication is really the way they manipulate individuals.
Research to determine whether you can analyse language within social media to identify psychopaths in the community could be vital as everything we do digitally leaves a record of the way we speak or write.
One way to apply this research would be to see if you can identify psychopaths through the language they use on social and digital media, then clinicians and investigators could better understand the motivations of their subjects. Obviously this cannot be used as ‘stand-alone’ evidence but it can support the investigators’ or clinicians’ other evidence. For instance, if written and digital media can highlight potential for psychopathy then law enforcement personnel would be likely to interview their suspect in a different way, for instance possibly using non-humans to interview them in the future. Rather like a polygraph, this is not currently admissible as evidence in court.
When it comes to online dating, Hancock has worked with a friend who had an online dating company in the UK. The company had a small team of people trained to identify problematic profiles, such as people who had been reported as being violent, and the team would then ‘ghost’ the profile. That is when the online dating company makes that profile invisible to everyone else but the profile owner, who thinks they are on the site although no one can actually see them. I thoroughly approve of that because if the profile were just kicked off the site they would simply move onto another dating site, and I believe and know that delaying psychopaths can save victims. As there are now around 8,000 dating sites and millions of online dating profiles, it would need automated language analysis service to identify them.
Of course, this may become possible in the future, although not now, but it is good to know that people are looking into this.
However, there are techniques that we know toxic people use to manipulate and control others. I thought it useful to list the techniques that psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths use to manipulate people, and more specifically how to counteract them.
Love-Bombing
‘Love-bombing’ is a technique that toxic people use to suck their victims in, get under their defences and firmly get their hooks in. It breaks down their victim’s resistance and programmes them to be compliant. It starts with compliments and public displays of affection, as well as lavish gifts. Basically everything that someone might want from a blossoming romance, and the sort of things we have all seen in romantic movies as the couple are swept off their feet and fall in love. Most addictive of all are the promises for a better future. These people (sometime covertly) find out their target’s desires and goals and make promises that far exceed their expectations, encouraging them to think bigger and further outside their comfort zone, thereby pulling their victim off balance whilst also believing that this new partner only had their best interests at heart.
They will refer to being ‘soulmates’ and declare undying love within a few weeks of meeting and generally it feels like they are pulling the relationship forward a little too fast, but the target goes with it to see where it leads.
The toxic person is affectionate and loving, and they seem totally focused on their mark. Things progress quickly and the victim ends up feeling like this is what they’ve been missing in every other relationship they have ever had.
It is conditioning. It is grooming.
As soon as they are hooked solidly, things will start to change.
Pretty soon the demonstrations of love will only happen when the victim behaves and does what the toxic person wants. It becomes selective and deliberately manipulative.
It is difficult to spot ‘love-bombing’ because it looks like a genuine relationship. All new relationships are exciting and the promise of a future together is intoxicating. Getting to know someone new gives emotional highs and alarm bells are not usually ringing! The key to spotting ‘love-bombing’ is the speed at which it happens. The toxic person will demand a lot of your time, and social media makes it easy, with texts, messaging, posting, etc., as well as long telephone calls and dates. We make it very easy for these toxic people to be in constant contact with us and they take advantage of it. The toxic person doesn’t want you to stop and think about what’s happening . . . Remember, they want to sweep you off your feet so that you cannot rationalise what happens later.