The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (Guide #1)(50)

Topher quickly checked the dashboard. “Fuck!” he yelled. “The gas gauge doesn’t always work! I forgot to reset the trip meter when we last filled up!”

“I’d offer to walk to a gas station, but I haven’t seen one for miles,” Joey said.

“Wait—so we’re stranded here?” Mo asked.

“Only temporarily,” Topher said. “I’m going to call Triple A, they’ll come fill us up, and we’ll be back on the road in no time.”

Topher took the Triple A card out of his wallet and called the number on the back. After a few minutes of cheesy and unhelpful mood music, an operator answered.

“Yes, hi—hello!” Topher said. “My friends and I are on a road trip and our car just ran out of gas.… Yes, my membership number is 199052712-1.… What’s that? Hold on one second.… Cash, what’s the address to this place?”

“It’s 1005 High Tydes Boulevard,” Cash said somberly. “It’s on the corner of Broken Dreams and Ruined Childhood Memories.”

“I think you mean on the corner of Karma and Serves You Right,” Mo said. “It sucks when something you adored as a child is ruined, doesn’t it?”

“It’s 1005 High Tydes Boulevard,” Topher repeated into his phone. “Yes, in Kansas.… I agree, the middle of nowhere.… It’s a long story.… I’m sorry, please repeat that.… What?”

His eyes suddenly filled with dread, and the anxiety in the car automatically doubled.

“Is that seriously the best you can do? No, we’re not in any immediate danger.… How many cars were involved? I suppose that makes sense.… Okay then.… Bye.”

Topher clicked off the phone and looked at the others like he had just gotten the worst news of his life.

“What is it, dude?” Joey asked.

“They say there was a huge accident on the 160 and their roadside service cars are backed up. The earliest they can send someone out is tomorrow morning at seven.”

Everyone in the car moaned like a herd of cows in heat. Topher took a deep breath to calm down—even he was unprepared for a situation like this.

“So we’re stuck here until tomorrow morning?” Joey asked.

“We’re going to have to sleep in the car like struggling musicians!” Mo declared.

“But we haven’t eaten since breakfast! How are we supposed to get through the night?” Sam asked.

“Actually, I put together an earthquake kit before we left home,” Topher said. “It’s got enough granola bars and bottles of water to last us three days. We’ll be fine for one night.”

“Why do you have an earthquake kit?” Cash asked.

“Because we’re going to California—duh!” Topher said as if it was as obvious as carrying sunscreen into the desert.

“Cash, can’t you call someone to helicopter us out of here?” Mo asked. “I mean, it’s your fault we’re here in the first place. Surely there’s something you can do.”

“I would but I don’t have my phone,” he said.

Joey groaned. “Who goes on a road trip and doesn’t bring his phone with him?”

“Gee, I don’t know, maybe everyone before 1999,” Cash snipped at him. “Besides, the only person I know with a helicopter is Harrison Ford, and we’re not speaking anymore.”

With nothing to do and nothing to say to make the situation any better, they all crossed their arms and sat in silence like frustrated kindergartners. Cash looked out the window at the locked gate of High Tydes again—and it gave him an idea. The actor crawled over the backseat, climbed across Mo’s lap, and stepped out of the station wagon.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked.

“He’s going nowhere,” Mo answered for him. “There’s literally nowhere to go!”

“Actually there is somewhere to go,” Cash said. “You guys can stay in the car and pout all night if you’d like, but I’m going to go explore the park.”

The others thought he was joking but he walked to the park’s entrance and tried climbing the gate.

“He can’t do that—it’s trespassing,” Mo said.

“It’s only trespassing if someone claims ownership,” Joey said. “I doubt there are any working security cameras on the property. Should we go with him?”

“Joey!”

“We’re already stranded in the middle of nowhere. You really think things will get worse if we explore an abandoned theme park?” he asked.

“Are you hearing the words coming out of your mouth?” Mo asked. “You just described the beginning of a Stephen King novel! The park is probably home to cannibals! I wouldn’t be surprised if some homicidal maniacs are just waiting for a group of naive teenagers to stumble into their territory so they can feast on our flesh!”

“Sounds cool,” Joey said, and got out of the car.

“I agree,” Sam said. “Sure beats spending the whole night in a station wagon.”

“Me too,” Topher said. “Come on, Kung Fu Panda.”

Mo was furious with her friends for ignoring her warning, but knew her chances of getting murdered would be greatly increased if she stayed by herself. She begrudgingly left the station wagon and joined her friends and the actor at the theme park’s entrance.