The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue (Guide #1)(53)

“I can’t imagine how excited she must have been,” Mo said.

Cash laughed at the thought. “I’ve still never seen a smile fill a face so much,” he said. “Peggy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple years ago. She doesn’t remember a thing about Thomas Anthony Hanks or Cash Carter anymore.”

The vibe among the group had definitely changed, but the actor was keen to get them back on a positive note.

“Okay, no more secrets!” he said. “I’ve got something that will lighten our spirits.”

The actor removed a joint from his pocket and waved it through the air like it was a magic wand. The others exchanged a troubled glance and tensed up like he was holding a deadly weapon.

“I’m willing to bet some serious money none of you guys have ever smoked pot before,” Cash said.

“Correct,” Topher said. “And we’re not going to start now.”

“No way,” Mo said, and shook her head like a toddler refusing to eat her vegetables. “That stuff kills brain cells.”

“You shouldn’t have that stuff here! It’s illegal in Kansas,” Sam said.

Cash raised his hands defensively to calm them.

“Easy, GOP youth,” he said. “Do I look like I’ve got a black cape and a twirly mustache? I’m not going to force it on you. I just thought it might be something you’d want to try before heading to college.”

“I wanna do it!” Joey said.

Of all the absurd and shocking things they had heard tonight, Joey’s eagerness to smoke marijuana was the most shocking of all.

“Joseph Davis!” Mo said. “What if we get caught?”

Cash looked around the park to make sure she was in the same place the rest of them were.

“Who’s going to catch us?” he asked. “You think the police are going to sniff it out and storm through the gates? Good! Maybe they’ll give us a ride back into civilization.”

“And it seems like we have more fun when we step outside our comfort zones,” Joey said. “If I’m going to do it, I’d rather make the memory with you guys than with some strangers in college. Besides, I doubt there’ll be many chances for new experiences where I’m going.”

His reasoning must have resonated with the others, because after Joey took the first hit, he passed the joint around to his friends and they all gave it a try. The smoke burned their throats and lungs as they inhaled, and they coughed and wheezed as they exhaled. Topher passed out bottles of water and cough drops from his earthquake kit.

“How do you guys feel?” Cash asked.

“Not bad after I stopped coughing,” Topher said.

“I guess I feel more relaxed,” Sam said.

“My eyes feel heavy but other than that I’m fine,” Mo said.

“Yeah, it’s not as intense as I thought it would be,” Joey said. “Should we hit it again?”

“Give it a couple minutes,” Cash recommended. “This stuff is fresh off the Los Feliz streets, none of that medicinal pussy shit. It may take a moment to kick in or it might not even work at all your first time.”

A half hour later, Topher was sitting as still as a statue, Joey was staring at the starry sky in wonder, Sam was trying desperately not to laugh at everything he saw, and Mo was rubbing herself like she was covered in bugs. The three-day supply of granola bars in the earthquake kit had also been consumed in a matter of minutes.

“Looks like it’s kicking in,” Cash observed. “How are you guys feeling now?”

“Clouds,” Topher said slowly. “There are clouds in my head.”

“Congratulations, you’re a traditional stoner,” Cash said. “What about you, Sam?”

With the attention suddenly placed on him, Sam couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. He rolled onto his back and rocked back and forth like a roly-poly that couldn’t get up.

“Everything tickles!” he peeped as happy tears streamed down his face.

“Sam’s in a good place—we call that a comedian,” Cash said. “Joey? How you feeling, bro?”

Joey never looked down from the stars. “I feel like parts of my brain are working that I’ve never used before,” he explained with prolonged blinks. “It’s like, I sense this deep connection with the stars and stuff. It’s like, they always had names, colors, and feelings before, but I’m only just noticing it. I can’t tell if this is like, a forever-and-always-from-this-day-forward sort of thing, or an only-right-now-today-in-this-moment-because-I’m-high-in-the-state-of-Kansas thing, you know?”

“Joey’s a professor,” Cash declared. “How’s the Mary Jane treating you, Mo?”

“I hate to say it, but I actually don’t feel any different than before,” she said. “I’m a little jealous it’s not working on me the way it is on—HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”

Mo jerked her head toward a small noise in the distance.

“Relax, Mo,” Cash said softly, like he was talking to a toddler. “It was probably just a raccoon—”

“A RACCOON?” Mo shouted in terror. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX WHEN THERE ARE RACCOONS? HOW CAN ANYONE SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN THOSE THINGS ARE CRAWLING AROUND THE WORLD? OH MY GOD, THEY HAVE DIGITS! WHY WOULD GOD MAKE AN ANIMAL YOU CAN HIGH-FIVE—WHY WOULD HE DO IT?”