Stop Anxiety from Stopping You: The Breakthrough Program For Conquering Panic and Social Anxiety(6)

Step 2. Negate the Panic and Anxiety Lies

Panic and anxiety lie to you in predictable ways. It is often hard to identify this when you are in the middle of a panic attack or an anxiety attack. You will learn to identify and dispute the lies. This means that you will know that the lie is false and how to negate it.

Next, you will learn to recognize and dismiss the anxious thinking and beliefs. Once you know how to identify the panic and anxiety lies, you are free to disentangle yourself from them. Finally, you will learn how to end the argument with anxiety once and for all by refusing to argue and holding firmly onto what you know to be true.

Step 3. Leverage Your Fears

Our fears often stand in the way of confronting our anxiety. This is especially true if we believe our fears. In this book you will learn how to leverage your fears by using them to your advantage to overcome anxiety and panic. We will start by identifying your key fears. Then, we will activate them and practice them in a specific sequence so that you will be able to conquer them.

Growing up, I took martial arts. During one particular class, the instructor walked around and said, “You may not be bigger that your opponent, but if you know how, you can leverage their strength and be able to beat an opponent twice your size!” Similarly, leveraging your fears allows you to use your opponents’ strength against them. This work takes time, and this is where you will need to prepare to be patient. That said, this is also where you will really start to see your progress build momentum.

Step 4. Openness: Develop an Attitude of Openness

Panic and anxiety thrive on finding dead ends, cautioning us against remaining open to our experiences, our lives, and ultimately our selves. Anxiety breeds an attitude of wary engagement; letting you engage only when all the permutations of how something might go wrong have been run through and planned for. In the long run, this creates more stress in already stressful situations and adds tension to the most benign or even pleasant experiences. You will learn to cultivate an attitude of openness and curiosity, to remain open to the possibility of a more positive outcome.

Step 5. Compassion: Practice Self-Compassion

Panic and anxiety create a dark shroud around your life; priorities can shift from living a fulfilling life to the nearly constant management of the next anxiety symptom. A kind of fog seems to descend, and it becomes harder to keep your strengths, talents, and abilities in focus. Your goals become obscured and your direction unclear. You will learn to gain clarity with respect to life goals, valued directions, and your personal strengths. We are often our harshest judge and critic. Anxiety frequently brings with it judgment and shame. You will learn to cultivate an attitude of self-compassion so that you can remain open to attaining your goals while treating yourself kindly in the process. You will develop a habit of acknowledging your successes and giving yourself grace when you falter or make mistakes.

Step 6. Kindle: Small Changes Spark Bigger Changes

Panic and anxiety flourish in comfort. Action will be your remedy against being overwhelmed. You will learn to create momentum by making small stepwise shifts in your thinking and behavior in order to kindle your progress. Often, these cumulative little changes lead to previously unimaginable bigger shifts and sizeable changes. As Vincent Van Gogh so wisely observed, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”





CHAPTER IV.





Panic: The Lies





“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” —Jodi Picoult





The most urgent requests I get in my practice have to do with panic reduction. It is really something that most people are baffled by – the extreme reaction of your body, mind, and emotions can feel overwhelming and at times even cause you to question whether or not you are losing your mind. It feels like a crisis, and many people will go to their nearest hospital Emergency Room in an attempt to resolve it – only to be dismissed after hours of waiting and being told they had a panic attack.

Panic attacks can also interfere with your ability to live your life in a way you are accustomed to, as many people start to limit their everyday activities to try to avoid having a future panic attack. In our modern, western way of living, this is simply unacceptable for most people who are busier than ever and trying to get as many things done as possible. Panic attacks do not just feel like a nuisance or interference, they are often described as catastrophic to someone’s life. In a culture of “busy” and “get things done” they can grind a person’s life to a virtual halt. The first step towards changing this is to get past the lies and gain credible knowledge about the panic and anxiety response.



Lie Number 1: Something bad is happening!

This often sounds like the following in your head:

?I am losing my mind or going crazy.



The Truth: Having a panic attack is not a sign of “going crazy” or “losing your mind.” It is a purely physiological reaction that can feel scary, but is not a sign of losing touch with reality.

?I am about to die I am very ill There must be something physically wrong with me / I am having a heart attack, or there is something wrong with my heart or breathing.



The Truth: These are the most common thoughts that people who struggle with panic have, and I will now show you how each one is a lie. There are certainly medical conditions that can feel like anxiety and can affect your breathing. If you are a healthy adult who gets regular medical checkups, you should mention these symptoms to your doctor and follow his or her recommendations. After a first panic attack, it is not that uncommon for someone to go to the emergency room, and it is there that physical causes are usually ruled out. If you have had a visit to the emergency room, and/or have had a physical checkup for these symptoms and have received a clean bill of health, usually your doctor will advise you to treat the anxiety or panic symptoms rather than to continue to focus on the medical side of things. If you would like a second opinion, by all means please get one. All too often, people start seeking third or fourth opinions. This, in my experience, is due to the lie that anxiety is telling you. If you have had two medical doctors give you a clean bill of health, then going back to get another opinion is how anxiety steals your time, energy, and attention. The answer at that point is to manage the anxiety or panic.