Stop Anxiety from Stopping You: The Breakthrough Program For Conquering Panic and Social Anxiety(2)

As I searched for a solution, I read everything I could get my hands on. I reflected on my childhood, my marriage, and my career. I engaged in journaling, examined my life choices, and consulted professionals – all with little relief. I tried every technique and searched professional literature as well as the shelves of the local bookstore. I read compulsively, but merely gaining knowledge had little to no effect on my anxiety. In retrospect, the reading became a way for me to forestall the anxiety. I was applying what I had learned, but I was quick to move on to the next strategy, hoping to hit on the Holy Grail of anxiety solutions.

Finally, I was introduced to the idea that the very battle with anxiety was the problem. I had to accept that I was anxious and live my life without being in a constant fight trying to be free of this force. This was a difficult concept to take in. I had spent a lot of time and energy fighting this enemy, and now I would have to relent. It took time and self-reflection to make peace with anxiety.

Once I did, I had to reflect on the idea that my great-on-paper life had become too comfortable. There was very little risk-taking in my life, and it was fueling my anxiety. I started making my life uncomfortable by pursuing necessary risks. I put myself in situations that made my introverted self cringe. I started pursuing activities that made me more and more uncomfortable. I left my comfortable job to go into private practice on my own. Although it did not happen overnight as I wished, I knew I was on the right track because I started feeling better. I began to recognize my former self. I was also not the same person I had been before. I had a lot more courage and I was no longer afraid of anxiety.

In retrospect, it is baffling to me that even with a doctoral degree in psychology, I did not have the resources to manage severe anxiety. It is only with a lot of research, clinical experience, and personal observations that I came up with the U.N.L.O.C.K. system to manage panic and anxiety. These days, I run a thriving private practice in Chicago specializing in anxiety treatment.





A note about getting the most from this book

If you are like many anxiety sufferers, this is probably not your first book or foray into trying to get answers and help. In fact, the very act of reading and searching for a solution is sometimes a way to manage the turmoil that anxiety causes. I get it. I have worked with hundreds of clients with anxiety and the stories I hear have motivated me to write this book. It is time to do something different. It is time to get better, and it is time to reclaim your life.

Imagine that your very good friend starts lying to you repeatedly, spreading rumors, and stealing from you. How long is that friend going to be your close confidant, someone with whom you share your innermost secrets, dreams, and hopes? How long will you continue to listen to their stories without taking them with a grain of salt or outright dismissing them? How long is it before you stop seeking their advice or inviting them to spend time with you? Probably not long, and it is probably a decision you make fairly quickly!

This is what your anxiety does day in and day out. It tells you lies: rumors about the future and half-truths about how it will affect you. It steals your time, your attention, and it is stealing the energy you have. Anxiety is a good liar; it is so good that most of us are not even aware of what is happening. All we know is that we want it to STOP.

It is natural to want to rush through and finish a book like this or just skim it for a few solutions. I invite you not to do that, so that you have time to practice the skills in this book and to really retain the information that you are learning. Slow and easy really does win the race here! I encourage you to first skim this book. After you have done so, please engage in a more thorough read the second time around. Take the time to let the information sink in thoroughly. Read and practice the exercises. Purposefully set aside time to do this for yourself – you have struggled long enough. You deserve to truly learn and master how to beat your panic and anxiety.

This book is a practical guide to managing panic and anxiety through the U.N.L.O.C.K. system. It is organized into four parts. In part one, I will guide you through the basics of understanding panic and social anxiety. In part two, I will delve deeper into the thinking processes involved and introduce the steps of the plan to manage panic and social anxiety. In part three, you will develop a plan to put the steps into action. Part four of this book will focus on maintaining gains that you make and developing lifelong habits to continue and enhance your progress with managing panic and anxiety.

Throughout the book I will guide you through a series of exercises that you can implement in your daily life. I will also encourage you to challenge some ways that you think about anxiety and to try a different approach. You will notice similarities in the approaches to panic and social anxiety treatment, with some repetition. Although seemingly redundant, there is overlap between the two entities, and looking at both serves a purpose of reinforcing key concepts. This is to be expected, and it will actually enhance your learning. As you are working your way through the program, you may notice that the skills you master will translate into you mastering situations that are outside of panic and social anxiety – when that happens to you, that is the synergy of standing up to panic and anxiety – progress often generalizes to other areas in our lives.

It has taken me a lot of professional training, research, and personal observations to finally be able to spot the lies in the information I get from anxiety. I share it in my consultation room with clients just like you who are ready to put a stop to anxiety getting in the way of what they need or want to do in their life, and I will now share it with you.