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My eyes were tired after a night of no sleep. I didn’t like the way I was feeling—this rising panic. I didn’t know what was real and what was an irrational reaction like Angus had had.

Liv sat back down and pulled her knees to her chest. “Do you mind if I wait in here with you?”

The energy and momentum was picking up downstairs. We could both feel it.

“Please.”

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

“Me too.” She had no idea.

“I knew it was coming, but I have no idea what happens now or how it all goes down,” she said, glancing over her shoulder at me. “I asked my mom if I should pack anything, and she just said, ‘No. It’s all been taken care of.’”

I quickly scanned the room for any mementos I wanted to hold or look at one last time. There weren’t any. My life here hadn’t been full of many memories worth holding on to. It was people I was leaving behind. One who understood me and one who felt like he was an actual part of me. The entire drive home, I’d been haunted by John’s vision of our future together. He was right about the first moment we saw each other at Barton Springs. I’d felt the exact same thing.

I realized I was pacing. I felt like I couldn’t sit down with Liv, that it would be dangerous to stop moving.

I reminded myself I wasn’t at a crossroads. This wasn’t a choice. It was my fate and it was an exceptional, privileged one. Like Lati said, I deserved to be here and I’d fought hard for it.

“What do you know about where we’re going?” I asked.

“I think it’s been built underground. I know there’s a large aquifer.”

“Like a bunker?” I sounded very freaked out to my own ears. I suddenly took notice of the sunlight pouring through my windows.

“A terrarium, I think. I don’t know the details, just that it’s a beautiful habitat. Novak said they’ve been building this for two decades. I think we’ll be completely cut off. Novak said no more outside influences. Can you imagine—no internet? Oh, Jesus. I’ll miss that. What are you going to miss? Tell me while you still can.”

John. Angus. The world. “I don’t know. I never even imagined it would be this extreme. Music, I guess. This view. The lake. This house is the only home I’ve ever known.”

“I love this house. We used to play hide-and-seek for hours.”

We both smiled, remembering. Any good memories I had of my childhood were because of her.

Liv suddenly got a sparkle in her eye. She may have been scared, but this was right for her. She was so sure of her place in this family, in their world. What was that like? I couldn’t imagine.

“This was a great life. The next one will be so much better,” she said with confidence.

For you it will be, I thought to myself.

“No matter what, you and I have each other. We’ll always have each other. Right?”

“We will,” I promised.

“That’s the important thing. It’s more important than anything or anyone else,” Liv said.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Since I didn’t move, Liv stood up and walked over to open it.

“Liv!” I said. She turned back around. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, like it was a given.



It was well organized. By the time all the teenagers were led to a corner section of the living room, it was almost dawn. Liv was across from me in the circle. I stood next to Paul and Cyrus, who looked just as tough as always, Lost Kids to the end.

There was no time to talk. Each Lost Kid kept an eye trained on the entry as it grew later and later and Angus hadn’t shown. We met one another’s gaze, and silently they asked about Angus. I shook my head. I saw the disbelief. When would we stop looking around for him, thinking he was about to join us? It already felt like a spark was missing. I didn’t care what they said: how would it not feel that way forever?

We were asked for our cell phones. It was actually kind of heartbreaking—everyone scrolling through their photos one more time as fast as they could and with one last, long look, arms extended, reluctantly dropping them into an oversize Ziploc.

I resisted the urge to look. I’d spent the whole morning trying to imprint the past on my brain, and I couldn’t do it anymore. It was my turn next to drop my phone in the bag, but I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Your father wants to see you,” Victoria said softly, and she began walking toward Novak’s office.

So here it was. I had started to assume I was safe once they gathered me with the rest of the kids. I should have known this was coming. Despite what Lati said, how could it not have been? Maybe Novak had found out about my relationship with John, or that I had been responsible for making Angus jump. There were so many strikes against me, the biggest one being pure biology. I had no choice but to follow Victoria’s tall stick figure, feeling icy all over. This summons felt all too familiar. On some level it was a relief to face it.

I walked far behind Victoria, until she turned and motioned for me to walk faster. Outside my father’s door Victoria turned to face me. Her china-doll face was arctic as always, but she seemed softer toward me than usual. She felt guilty, I realized.

“You shouldn’t have let him do that to us. To me,” I said, openly standing up to her. “You knew I never had a problem stepping back for Liv.”