Select (Select #1)(88)
“Why are you bringing me, then?” I didn’t know why I was pushing him.
“Thankfully I was able to pass enough of our genes on to you. We’re the last Puris, Julia. It is a beautiful, sacred legacy. When we complete Relocation, things will be different for you. That’s all I will ever say about that again. Do you understand?” Novak said, indicating the conversation about my mother was closed forever.
My whole life I’d been running alongside them, hoping they’d take me, and now I’d been officially accepted by Novak himself, not merely tolerated. My future, my life, was guaranteed. I would learn the secrets. I would have to conceal some of my abilities, but that wasn’t anything new. I should have been relieved that I’d earned my place after all these years.
I didn’t move. “Where are we going?” I’d heard rumors for months, and bits of information from Liv, but I wanted confirmation from him.
“For your own safety only a few people know the geographic location. You’ll go downstairs and take a sedative, and when you wake up you’ll think you’ve arrived in Eden.” I could tell from the arrogance in his voice, Novak was very, very proud of himself and what he would reveal to everyone.
“Where we’re going—can we leave?”
“No,” he said, simply, then immediately sensed my fear. “Don’t worry. Once you’re there, you won’t want anything else again. It will be back to how it was before our people were discovered—no conflict, no suffering. We can focus on our gifts. That shared enlightenment is so beautiful, Julia. The energy radiating from the group—it can light an entire room. Even if it’s not exactly the same for you, you’ll be living in a better place.”
There was a knock. “Novak!” someone barked from outside the door, clearly anxious at Novak’s leisurely pace. It was like he was continuing to resist the timetable Angus had put him on.
“Excuse me one moment,” Novak said, formally. He walked out swiftly, leaving me alone. I sagged back into the chair.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of myself in a large mirror hanging behind Novak’s desk. I turned my head to see myself. I did look exactly like the woman in the picture, only my features fit this family’s now. Aquiline, symmetrical. My eyes were unreadable. Like Novak said, I had enough of them in me.
I remembered the moment in the bathroom at John’s house when I’d stared at myself in the mirror. I’d looked so different then, like a girl I didn’t know. My features had been softer, my cheeks flushed. Mostly I remembered how my eyes had looked. Alive.
I still had my phone. An oversight.
Any second someone would walk in. It would be my last rebellion. Quickly I stood and turned my back to the door, scrolling through the phone, hoping I could find the one picture I wanted to see.
I’d taken it through the picture window of the library, capturing John outside in the gold light of a fall afternoon. He was sitting on a bench, head barely turned, just the hint of his profile showing. I’d caught him in this fleeting moment—young and beautiful, waiting for me. One minute later I’d gone out, we’d had a brief conversation, and then we’d said good-bye. This was how he would always be in my mind, frozen in time.
I panicked, and my eyes flitted back to the mirror. This time they landed on the necklace. I touched it gently, wanting to feel the connection to my family and confirm my role in this line, hoping it would tell me that all the possibilities that lay outside the walls of this house paled in comparison with what this move represented.
And then I had the sensation of bright, enveloping energy Novak had just described, that same feeling I had the first day I read John’s mind.
It flowed through my entire body, and I just knew. It was more than the bliss I was capable of feeling when I was with the group. In that moment it was like I knew the answer to every question I’d ever asked. It was a glimpse of enlightenment.
I understood the pain of defecting, the reality of never seeing the group, my people, again. I also knew I couldn’t look in the mirror again and be half myself. I couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t a whole other world besides ours and that I was only as powerful as Novak allowed me to be.
It had built to this over time. It had happened little by little. In the end it took just one second, and I was no longer the same person who had entered this room.
I love you, I texted. I needed him to know right then. Just in case.
Before I could turn off the phone, it vibrated in my hand.
I stared at the words on the screen.
I’m here. Outside the gate.
I heard a stirring in the hall and whisked my phone into my back pocket. Novak walked back into the room.
“Apparently everyone downstairs is growing impatient.” He perched on the edge of his desk and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, painfully unhurried.
I opened my mouth but didn’t say anything, praying he would ask me to leave his office. But Novak was acting like he had more business with me. My mind was outside, on the person who was far too close. I noted uneasily that all four orchids in the room were dead, the formerly white petals now brown.
“Sit back down for one more moment, Julia.” Novak gestured for me to sit. Dying from fear and anxiety, I carefully sat down on the very edge of the hard chair.
Novak continued, “Needless to say, my timeline has been rudely altered. Now it’s extra important that you be an example. After we arrive, I want everyone to see what a close approximation you are to us.” He paused. “You have a distinct role to play, but you need to be sure you can do this. You need to let Angus go.”