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“Valuable how?” There was so much that had been kept from me.
“He was an outlier. At a young age he was capable of things it took most of us a lifetime to master. He surpassed all of us with what he was able to do with his mind—telekinesis, and his complete control over physical response.”
Of course. What had he called the same in me? Nothing important, nothing worth mentioning. He had made me feel so small.
“He began correctly predicting near events. And then Novak said he could see farther and farther into the future. After that people were listening to him more than to Victor. Novak came back to the fold and married the leader’s daughter, but you were part of the deal. Eighteen years later he’s still trying to save face and prove there are more of us out there. Some people are more receptive now since we’ve been unable to reproduce.”
“Julia.” Angus had opened his eyes. His voice was rough and low. He gestured for me to come to the bed and reached out to try to touch my cheek. I leaned in closer.
“Angus, I’m so sorry. That was my problem, not yours. I never should have—”
“Shhhh. If it weren’t for my family, I’d do it again. I don’t know—the thought of him trapping me somewhere…I just couldn’t go. I fucking hate him, Julia.” Angus’s anger could have seared the wall. He tried to collect himself. “Besides, I couldn’t let you hurt yourself after you told me you don’t have pure blood like me,” he joked.
I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. “Did you always know I wasn’t like you?” I asked.
“No. Maybe I guessed. It doesn’t matter,” he said. I laughed at that. He pulled me down closer and said, “You’re still you. And you’re still one of us. Them,” he corrected himself.
I nodded, but I knew it wasn’t convincing. I said, “You were right about Novak. We were the best. Thank God you taught the boys.”
“Thank God you taught me.”
Lati stood up, wanting to usher me out. “You need to get out of here and get back to Novak.”
“How am I going to do that, knowing what I know? And why would he take me?”
“He’s raised you as his daughter, in our group, in front of everyone, and you deserve to be part of Relocation. Somehow, by luck and chance, you’re here. If you could wish anything for this one chance on earth, wouldn’t it be for a long, peaceful life? To experience bliss? Isn’t that what all of existence strives for? What we’ve created can ensure a beautiful future, secure from the outside world. You have to go. You can’t let him take away the extraordinary things about us. Don’t let what you just heard change anything.”
“What does that mean exactly, ‘secure from the outside world?’”
“You know I can’t talk about it. Even now.”
“Where is it?” I pushed.
In a firmer voice he said, “You need to go. Say good-bye.”
I looked at Angus, realizing I might never see him again. “I won’t forget you.”
“Promise me you’ll take care of the boys,” he said seriously. I nodded. Angus’s eyes glowed bright blue as he did everything he could not to cry. “I love you, Julia.”
I could tell he was scared.
“I love you too. You’re my best friend.”
“Julia,” Lati said, impatient now.
“Maybe you’ll get the best of both worlds,” I said to Angus coaxingly.
“I don’t think it works like that.”
I couldn’t stand seeing him broken, and it scared me, not being able to help him. I lay my head on Angus’s chest. Everyone in the room knew it was futile, that we couldn’t go back in time, but Lati and Angus were quiet for a moment.
Angus caught my hand as I stood to go. “Julia, don’t accept their story that you’re less. You’re more of everything. All the best parts.”
I’d never thought about it that way, that I was more than the image they had of me. I smoothed the hair from Angus’s forehead carefully. I leaned my face down to his and whispered in his ear.
“Angus,” I said, with wonder in my voice, “don’t worry. You are going to feel so alive.”
The path to the car was blurry, the tears falling freely as soon as I was out of Angus’s sight. Still, I was sure I recognized one of the FBI agents who had questioned me. He walked right past me, striding into the building with purpose.
I parked across the street, one house down, but with a clear view of their driveway. I sat watching in the black winter night.
I knew that in all probability he was safe inside, sleeping. No one would have pursued Liv’s theory about John once Angus jumped. There wasn’t any time. We had to run now. I knew the smart thing for me to do was to run too. I was crazy for making this stop.
I started the car, the dashboard lighting up. I felt like I was outside myself, watching to see if I could make the final break and pull away from the curb to drive home through the streets of Austin for the last time.
But I had to check.
I turned off the engine. Walking briskly down the sidewalk, I was in front of John’s house in a second, but not without a neighbor’s dog starting to bark. I walked back to their rotting wood gate and tried to open it with a push of my hand. It didn’t budge. I slammed my shoulder into it, and it made a loud scratching sound on the concrete. Breaking into a cold sweat, I glanced at the neighbor’s windows, but no one came to peer out to see what was driving their dog crazy. Letting myself into the backyard, I nudged past the recycling and garbage cans.