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I’d never seen Liv turn bright red. I couldn’t tell if it was because she was angry or because she was ashamed. But she was definitely looking at her own sister with new eyes.
“Do you understand? You point him out to anyone, I’m not going with you. I don’t know—maybe you don’t want me there now that you know. But no matter what, if you take John, you’ll be disappointed. And you’ll end up stealing his life for no reason.”
I didn’t want to look at Angus now that he knew the truth as well. I kept my eyes on Liv, waiting to see what she’d do. Liv kept looking at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Then she said, “Of course I want you to go.”
My entire body flooded with relief that Liv was backing down. “You’ll drop it?”
“Yes.” But her voice was tentative.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Liv shook her head, “Novak doesn’t know, but I told a few people—George, Emma—and they’re coming tonight.”
“They know who he is?” I began to look around wildly.
“No. But Julia, they’ll recognize him from Barton Springs. I repeated what you and I heard at dinner that night. I told them enough that they’re going to want to take him to Novak if you don’t. They all want to be the one to find someone.”
“They’re here,” Angus said.
I looked below. The Lost Kids were gathered in a group near the stage, and some of the crowd had their phones out, taking photos and video now that a sighting of our group was unmistakable. I saw George, Marko, Emma, and the rest of the kids on the periphery, looking up at us in the balcony.
You could feel Angus go into protector mode, wanting to get down to his friends. But I needed him.
“Liv, take them somewhere. Okay? Just get them to leave. Tell them you were wrong.” I spotted John not too far from the Lost Kids down front.
Liv seemed to feel my urgency and turned for the stairs. I knew I should send Angus with her, but I needed him too much.
Alone, we turned to each other. In spite of everything else, we had been partners in crime long enough that he knew what I was thinking.
“We need to leave now,” I said.
“Good luck getting them out of here.”
“No, I mean we need to leave Austin now. I’m not letting this happen because of something my sister got into her head.”
Angus chose that moment to remind me of our conversation at the dock. “If Liv is right, he would be guaranteed an exceptional life.”
“She’s dead wrong. You know that. Even if he didn’t end up like Kendra, he would lose his mind remembering what he had here.”
“And we won’t?” I knew it was the question Angus had wanted to ask me all night.
“We only cope with this world—we never get used to it. And now we’re going to a more suitable place. At least you’re going, if that’s what you want. So help me, Angus. Please. If anyone has a chance for a good life here, he does.” I knew my voice had an edge of hysteria, but I would beg to the ends of the earth until he helped me.
He stared below, the music pumping louder and building, the crowd moving up and down to the escalating song while I waited for his answer. Then he said, “Fine. But it has to be now, and it can’t be something that points back just to you. Make sure it’s long enough to be caught on video. Like Novak has always said, ‘We’re just one video away from leaving Austin.’ What?”
“That’s why I need you. I’m not sure I can do it anymore.”
Angus, of all people, hadn’t seemed to blink when I told Liv about myself—I hadn’t given him the chance—but I realized now that he didn’t seem surprised.
“Come here.” He gestured me over to him.
“What?” I asked, annoyed, but I closed the gap between us.
Angus looked me straight in the eye. “Don’t let this mess with your head. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”
My panic was rising. Seconds before, I would have jumped in front of a train to stop anyone from touching John, and now I realized I had no idea what to do.
Angus’s eyes were soft now, and he said coaxingly, “Move something. You’ve shown me that a million times.”
I studied the space frantically. I had no ideas for what I could try to move. I assumed anything that could get attention was far too big for me. I fixated on a lone monarch butterfly floating in the sky just above me, thinking it seemed such a strange place for one to be.
Angus didn’t say a word. He just waited patiently, putting it all on me. I watched curiously as two more monarchs joined the first.
“Angus…” I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder. I didn’t know what I possibly had left inside me.
“It’s fine. You have it,” Angus whispered in my ear. Maybe because there wasn’t any other choice, I went directly to the stillness, in the middle of the noise, in the middle of the crowd, waiting for something out there—any energy I could connect with, anything that would give me an answer.
I didn’t move. Then I felt Angus begin to laugh, and I heard the band jaggedly cut off their music, one instrument at a time. A silence spread over the crowd. People weren’t looking at the stage; I felt them looking up. “Oh my God, Julia. Come on. You have to look.” Angus’s voice was full of wonder. He nudged me, and, terrified, I lifted my head.