Select (Select #1)(74)
But I was starting to feel wronged too. I was the one tainted by Novak’s sins. I was the one who would forever have to pay for Novak’s transgressions while he was revered.
Relocation would happen in a matter of days now. You could feel it. I knew it was the perfect time for them to be rid of me. But if Liv was here, tonight wasn’t the night.
Liv kept looking around, as if she was trying to find someone in the crowd.
“Are you waiting for someone?” I asked, but she just shrugged.
I stared off into space, the crowd making me edgy. For a second I thought I was mistaken when I recognized Angus’s battered BMW as it slithered into an illegal parking spot directly in front of the building. The driver’s door flew open, and Angus took a giant step into the street without a glance. A car veered and honked, narrowly missing him. Angus kept walking, calmly raising both arms, giving the double middle finger to the car as it passed. I looked over at Liv, who also couldn’t help but smile.
“What’s he doing here?” I asked.
“It’s your birthday. I thought you’d want him here.” Liv looked over at me, and while she seemed distracted her eyes were kind. I smiled back. It was hard to believe Novak was fine with us being out like this, but Liv seemed confident.
I hadn’t seen Angus since our conversation by the water. He sauntered up in the dark, definitely looking more beat-up—dark blue rings under his eyes and the rash partially on his face now. You could see Liv’s beginning to creep up her neck. My rashes were gone altogether. Maybe it was psychosomatic. Now that my identity had fallen by the wayside, so had my abilities and any urge to use them.
“What? No special line?” Angus said by way of greeting.
“No special line.” I could tell Liv was nervous, but her entire being changed around him. She was excited to see him.
“Happy birthday,” Angus said to me, his eyes intense. He seemed to want to make peace.
“Thanks.” I smiled, but it didn’t match my eyes.
“It’s fine,” Angus said directly to me.
“What’s fine?” Liv asked.
“Everything,” Angus said. The line began moving. Then he said, “Julia’s worried about being here.”
Liv got indignant, feeling second-guessed. “I told you we’re fine! I thought you’d love to see Sweet Spirit. We’ve never been to something like this, and I thought we could try it before we…”
“No, I’m very excited. I love them. Thank you,” I said. I couldn’t help but wonder why Liv would put herself in a situation like this. She didn’t want to be here. Angus and I could handle it—we’d been out and about a lot—but all this humanity was a lot for Liv, with the standing throngs and lack of personal space. Wind whipped through the line again, and, freezing cold, I braced myself. The image of John standing in line with me at ACL, holding my hand, popped into my head. I kept losing control of my thoughts.
It was an all-ages show, so we passed through the door, each getting an X on our hands, which I assumed marked us as minors. We entered the crowded outdoor space of the restaurant and music venue with its stage at the far end. I felt a pull and looked up to the third-story balcony.
“What are they doing here?” I asked, seeing the Lost Kids gathered in a large group for the first time in months. Even Ellis and Roger were present. Angus seemed surprised to see the group also, and I felt both of us go on edge at the exact same time. This was starting to feel weird.
“I thought everyone deserved a night out.” Liv had to speak louder now that we were inside and the band was beginning their show. “So enjoy, because this will be the last time.”
“We know,” Angus said.
“Not just in Austin,” Liv said cryptically.
I suddenly realized she had a secret she wanted to tell us. Both Angus and I didn’t say anything, just waited.
Our patience was rewarded. “We’re going into seclusion.”
“What do you mean, ‘seclusion’?” Angus asked after a beat.
Liv leaned in. “Once we go in, we won’t be coming out. Ever. Novak’s built a place to sustain us for the rest of our lives. He wants us away from all this”—Liv gestured around us—“people, cities, their stuff. We won’t be coming out for generations. Assuming there will be generations after us.”
“We can’t get out?” I could feel Angus’s panic.
“We won’t want to. It’s going to be like paradise. And safe. No more looking over our shoulders.”
Angus up and walked away from us, stunned.
“It’ll be better,” Liv said to me, sounding like she was convincing herself. “We can live how we’re meant to.” She sounded like she didn’t wholly buy the idea and wanted to see my reaction.
“That’s crazy. Maybe our ancestors lived in isolation, but none of us have. How long have you known this?” I asked.
“A week, maybe.”
It didn’t feel right. I always thought this Relocation would be a kind of remote pastoral haven—an attempt to get back to a homeland from our past—but this felt different. It sounded unnatural and scary, like being trapped behind a pane of glass. I knew I shouldn’t be having this reaction in front of Liv. Without looking back, I blindly walked into the crowd alone, like I wanted to hide among the people we’d always wanted to get away from. Not knowing where I was headed, I worked my way front and center, to the foot of the stage.