Redemption(30)

“What did they say?” The man who’d loved me enough to propose to me made a brief appearance, concerned with my future, or maybe just how it would affect his.

I twirled the ring on my left finger. “Manslaughter.”

“Have you chosen an attorney?”

“No. I’ve only been able to deal with one thing at a time. Guess that just moved to the top of the list. I’ll have to notify the University as well.”

“Do you think they’ll let you continue teaching?”

“Doubtful. They don’t want the negativity associated with the school.”

The doorbell rang, and Matt walked away to answer it. I gathered my notes on the lawyers who had contacted me and went to my room to make some phone calls. Yesterday had left me numb…I was merely going through the motions at this point. I was surprised I hadn’t had to leave messages with the calls I returned. When I’d given the receptionist my name, I had been put through immediately. I had never hired a lawyer and didn’t know what I was looking for until I stumbled upon it.

Jethro Neely.

I was exhausted, and he was the last name on my list. “Can you tell me why everyone is so interested in taking my case? It’s a given I’m going to be convicted, so why would you want to waste your time knowing you’re going to lose?”

“It’s high profile. Even a conviction will gain a litigator notoriety.”

And the only man who openly admitted why he wanted me, was the man I hired. If he had the courage to tell me the truth, he was already light years ahead of those in his chosen profession. I didn’t want someone who would sugar coat things. I needed bitter honesty. I needed someone who would fight for me because I didn’t have anything to give.

I’d met with him an hour later in his office. We spent the better part of the afternoon going over what happened in the days and weeks prior to Joshua’s death and hashed out that day in finite detail. But nothing changed the fact that I didn’t remember anything past pulling over or before waking up in the hospital.

“They’re going to call witnesses, Melissa. It’s not going to be pretty when people describe the scene. I won’t be able to protect you from that. The woman who called 9-1-1, EMS, the coroner. You need to prepare yourself; those people will have opinions. Do your best to stay away from the news and radio, and try to stay out of the public eye. If you aren’t around, it’s more difficult to cast stones. Your name will die down between now and then, but it will roar to life when the trial starts.”

I hadn’t thought about witnesses, but none of that mattered. I had to face the reality of what I’d done, and if that meant hearing people recount what they’d seen, then that was my cross to bear.

“I’m going to push to get this in front of a judge quickly. You have a squeaky-clean past, not even so much as a traffic ticket, and other than this incident, a model citizen. If you can think of anyone who would be willing to speak on your behalf, a character witness, that would be helpful. Maybe another faculty member.”

“I doubt I’ll have a job, but I’ll ask.”

Jethro was a good-looking man, early forties I’d guess, soft brown eyes and dark hair, and no wedding ring. And while he was a straight shooter, he either had a soft spot for his clients, or just one for me.

He casually laid his hand on top of mine on the large conference table. The hum of the fluorescent lights was the only sound in the room. “You can survive this…if you want to.”

“I don’t know that I do.”

“We’ll get you there.” He had more confidence in my ability to recover than I did, but I guess that’s what made him good at his job. That, and the fact he didn’t mind delivering tough news. “If it helps any, I know the DA. He has no desire to crucify you and make this any worse than it already is. But he will do his job.”

“Can’t I just plead guilty and move on?”

“Even if you do, there’s still sentencing.”

“It was an accident. I never meant to hurt him or anyone else.” My voice carried throughout the room, bouncing off the walls. I rested my head on my forearms on the table.

“That’s what’s going to keep you out of prison.”

I lifted my head again to meet his gaze.

“You’re believable. The agony is written all over your face and in your body language. It’s a risk taking this to court so early, but I’m convinced not giving you time to work through the emotion that pours from your body language, the tone of your voice, and the overall way you carry yourself, will help you more than hurt you.” He stood and handed me his business card. “I’ll be in touch, Ms. Jackson.”

I still hadn’t had my car fixed even though Matt had emptied out the contents at some point. Every time I set foot near the door, the damage was a reminder of what I’d done. I needed to feel that not eliminate it. The weight of my actions was a crushing load, but one I refused to slough off.

Wind caught the front door and slammed it behind me when I arrived home. Matt was standing in the same position and spot he’d been in the day I came home from the motel. His stance startled me as did his presence.

“Jesus, Matt. Why do you keep doing that?”

“I didn’t want to miss you when you came home.”

I moved past him and into the kitchen. Tossing the paperwork Jethro had given me on the counter, I turned to address Matt, but he beat me to it.