Only Child(65)

“I know, honey, I know,” Mimi said. “And you don’t have to do anything. I just thought maybe for Zach…”

“I know,” Mommy said, and she looked up at me, and her eyes had tears in them.

We always have Thanksgiving at our house, and it’s a big party with our family and friends. Mommy gets really excited about it, and she tapes a lot of lists on the kitchen cabinets, like what the menu is going to be and shopping lists and stuff, and she makes a special table with special place mats and decorations. We put an extra table next to the table in the dining room, so it’s one really long table, and we need three tablecloths to cover it and Daddy has to get out all the extra chairs from the basement so there will be enough for all the guests.

Last year I got to help with the decorations, and we made the name cards for the table together. Me and Mommy went for a walk around the lake by our house and collected pinecones, and it took us a long time because there were going to be eighteen people for dinner and the pinecones couldn’t be too big or too small. We had a whole bag of them when we came home from the lake. Mommy cut out leaves from brown and red and orange paper, and I wrote everyone’s names on them. Mommy tried to get Andy to help, too, but Andy said arts and crafts are for girls. He said that with my bad handwriting no one was going to know where they were supposed to sit, and that wasn’t fair because I used my best writing and Mommy said it looked very good.

Andy only made one name tag, the one for himself, so at least he was going to know where to sit, and then he went and played on the Xbox again. So I made the rest without him. We tied the leaves to the pinecones, and Mommy gave me a chart where everyone was going to sit, and I put the name-tag pinecones on top of the plates.

Last year on Thanksgiving, Mommy got up early because she had to put the stuffing inside the turkey and tie the legs together, and then it had to go in the oven, because it takes a long time to cook a turkey. Then we watched the Macy’s parade on TV for a little while, and it was quiet with just the two of us, because Daddy and Andy were still sleeping.

At dinnertime we sat down around the table that looked beautiful with mine and Mommy’s decorations, and everyone said how much they liked my name tags, so I gave Andy a “so there” look, and he gave me a “yeah, right” look back.

It was a little sad at the beginning of the dinner, because it was our first Thanksgiving without Uncle Chip, and Grandma and Aunt Mary cried when we went around the table and everyone had to say what they were thankful for.

That’s the only part I don’t like about Thanksgiving, because I don’t like saying what I’m thankful for, and everyone has their eyes on me. At least I know it’s coming and I can be ready, and that way the red juice spill isn’t so bad. “I am thankful for Mommy and Daddy,” I said, because everyone was saying the people they were thankful for, so I picked Mommy and Daddy. “Oh, thanks a lot, Dumbo,” Andy yelled across the table, and Daddy got mad at him and that wasn’t such a good moment at dinner, but I didn’t feel thankful for Andy, so I didn’t say his name.

“I’m thankful for my Xbox” was what Andy said when it was his turn, and that was a stupid thing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving.

I thought about last Thanksgiving, and I didn’t think it was going to be nice this year and anyway, I wasn’t sure what I should say I’m thankful for this time. My hideout, that was the only thing, and I wasn’t going to say that in front of everyone because it was a secret.

“Front door!” the alarm box robot lady said, and then Daddy walked in the kitchen and Mommy looked back down at her plate. Another sausage car started to drive on the obstacle course.

“Hello,” Daddy said, and he gave me a little smile.

Mommy didn’t say anything, and Mimi said, “Hello, Jim,” and her voice sounded changed from when she was talking to Mommy. It sounded like stiff and not Mimi-like.

“Roberta?” Daddy said Mimi’s name like a question.

Mimi got up and made Daddy a plate, and Daddy took his plate and went in the dining room. I felt bad that he was sitting there all by himself, so I slid down from the barstool and carried my plate over and sat down next to Daddy. I noticed Mommy looked up from her plate and her eyes were following me. She made them very small.

Then Mommy turned back to Mimi and said, “I was thinking I could invite some of the survivors. I…that’s the only way I think it makes sense for me this year…if we have to do anything at all.”

“Oh…yeah, that might be a good idea,” Mimi said.

“Invite them for what?” Daddy asked, and Mimi and Mommy looked over at him like he was interrupting their private conversation.

“Thanksgiving,” Mommy said.

Daddy was about to put a fork with food in his mouth, but then his hand stopped and stayed there, in front of his mouth. “You want to invite…strangers? To Thanksgiving?” Daddy put the fork with the food back down on his plate.

“They are not strangers,” Mommy said, and there they were, the storm clouds, starting to grow big by the ceiling again. “These are people who are…going through what we’re going through. We’re in the same boat. We all need the support to get through these holidays,” Mommy said.

“What about family?” Daddy asked. “My mother, Mary…don’t you think the support from our own family is what we need…?”