Only Child(64)

In the afternoon, Mr. Stanley came over to our house, and it was about how I acted at the new school. He talked to Mommy and Daddy about me, and it was like I wasn’t there, even though I was sitting in the room also.

“I would suggest that we give him some more time,” Mr. Stanley said.

“Definitely,” Daddy said.

“He’s been keeping up with his work quite well. And it’s almost Thanksgiving. I don’t see a reason why we can’t push it until…say, after the Christmas break,” Mr. Stanley said.

“That’s quite a lot of school he would be missing,” Mommy said. “I don’t think it is in his best interest to—”

Daddy interrupted Mommy’s sentence. “It’s first grade, for heaven’s sake. He’s not prepping for the SATs. He’ll be fine!”

Mommy looked at Daddy in a very mad way. Mr. Stanley looked a few times from Mommy to Daddy and he looked like he didn’t know what to say. “OK, well, I wanted to let you know there is no rush from our point of view. If he keeps working and doesn’t fall behind, there will be no need to think about repeating the grade or anything like that. But I do want to mention the importance of counseling in this kind of scenario. I…that really is important. That’s…that’s really all,” Mr. Stanley said, and he started to get up.

“Thank you, Mr. Stanley,” Mommy said. “We will discuss it and get back to you,” and she walked Mr. Stanley to the door. Then she came back in the living room and she didn’t sit back down, but she walked over to the window next to the chair I was sitting on and she stared out of it. She put her hand through my hair a lot of times, and I heard her take deep breaths in and out.

“Please let me call Dr. Byrne for Zach now,” Daddy said in a quiet voice.

Mommy shook her head yes slowly. “I…yes, I think that would be for the best,” Mommy said, and she stopped putting her hand through my hair, but she left her hand on top of my head.

Dr. Byrne is Andy’s doctor, the one he went to for his ODD, and he made Andy do time-aways and so now Daddy and Mommy wanted me to go there, too, because I acted bad at school.

“I don’t want to go to Dr. Byrne,” I said, and my voice came out whiney. “I’m sorry how I acted bad in school today. I’m sorry, Mommy. I won’t do it again, I promise.” I could feel tears come in my eyes, and I started to feel hot all over. I grabbed Mommy’s hand so that she would look at me instead of out the window. “I’m sorry, Mommy, OK?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Mommy said, and she touched my cheek with her hand. “Don’t get upset again. We’re not deciding anything right now, don’t worry.”

“No, we are deciding this now, buddy. This is not a punishment. This is to help you feel better. Do you understand?” Daddy said.

“Well, we’ll talk more about it,” Mommy said, and she looked at Daddy. They didn’t say anything for a while. They both just stared at each other in a mad way.

“Zach, do me a favor and go upstairs,” Daddy said, and he didn’t look at me, he was still looking at Mommy and I knew why he said that. It felt like when you know there’s going to be a big storm: it’s like extra quiet right before, but you can see the dark clouds in the sky and they’re coming closer, and you can start to hear some thunder sounds far away. Then you wait for the thunder and lightning to come right above you.

I didn’t wait for this storm to come in over me. I ran out of the living room and upstairs and into my hideout and closed the door before the thunder and lightning started.





[ 37 ]


    Thankful


MOMMY AND DADDY made the world’s longest thunderstorm. It went on for days. The storm wasn’t happening all the time, but mostly when Mommy and Daddy were together it happened. It only took breaks when Daddy was at work. Daddy started to stay at work a lot again, and it went back to how it always was before when he was at work all the time, so he didn’t come in the hideout anymore.

When Mommy and Daddy were in the same room, right away I could feel the storm clouds starting to grow, like they were getting all dark and heavy at the ceiling. I know a thunderstorm happens when warm air goes up and cold air comes down and they crash together and make big clouds, and the clouds make rain and lightning and thunder. Well, in our house it was like Mommy was the cold air and Daddy the warm air, and when they crashed together, they made a storm of words and yelling and crying.

I got pretty good at noticing when it was about to happen, and I tried to get out of there just in time. Upstairs, in the hideout, shut the door! Sometimes the storm got so loud, I could even hear it all the way in the hideout, but most of the time the closet door kept it outside.

The week before Thanksgiving, Mimi came over with dinner and her, me, and Mommy sat at the counter and ate. It was sausage and peppers, and that’s one of my favorites. Daddy was still at work, so no storm.

“Have you thought about Thanksgiving at all?” Mimi asked Mommy. “It’s only one week away, and if you want to do something, we should probably start planning.”

Mommy looked down at her plate and moved her food around with her fork. She put her fork in a piece of sausage and moved it around the sauce and the rice like it was a car driving through an obstacle course. “I…I really wish the holidays weren’t right now,” Mommy said with a quiet voice, and she sounded like a little girl.