Not Broken: The Happily Ever After(96)

“Needing to see her less is a good thing, right?”

The cup tumbled free from Shawn’s grip. Holding on to his back, I picked it up and put it on the table.

“That’s the hope. I mean, the end game should be me eventually not needing to go at all.”

Mal finished his juice then set his glass down and picked up his phone. “I have a call starting.” He started to get up, but stopped. Placing two fingers under my chin, he turned my head and leaned in for a kiss.

His full lips moved slowly atop mine, and his warm hand moved up to hold the side of my face. A soft moan escaped my lips. The kiss itself: simple and quick. Still my stomach did somersaults, and I felt lightheaded, near weightless. Malcolm pulled back. He ran his thumb across my bottom lip. He didn’t say anything, simply smiled at me. I swallowed hard, fighting back a tidal wave of emotion.

“You better go so you’re not late for your call.” I needed him out of the room before I burst into tears for no damn reason.

Mal looked at his phone to check the time and let out a heavy sigh. “I really hate conference calls.” He gave me another quick kiss before heading downstairs to his home office.

Shawn shifted in my lap. I kissed the top of his head. Moving slowly, I eased off the couch to carry him up to his room. After putting Shawn in his crib, I looked around the space Malcolm had done for him. My hand went to my lips. The emotion that had come over me downstairs hummed under the surface. I turned on the baby monitor then grabbed the receiver out of the master bedroom and headed to the basement.

Malcolm sat at his desk talking, sounding all professional. He gave a nod in my direction, acknowledging my presence. He was working, I should have gone back upstairs and let him be, but I couldn’t. My overwhelming need to be with him overrode all logical thought. I didn’t want to be that woman, needy and clingy, but in this moment, I was.

He turned as I approached. I put the monitor next to his laptop. He opened his arms in surprise to make room for me as I straddled him. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him.

Mal responded by placing his free hand around my waist. His deep baritone voice soothed me. His light, clean scent embraced me in its perfect blend of sensuality and masculinity. His strong arm provided me comfort and security. He was my safe place. I pulled my body tighter against him. His words faltered. I could feel him turn his head toward me.

“Baby, are you all right?” he asked the moment his call ended.

I nodded.

“You sure, because as much as I love the affection, this feels like something more.” Malcolm wrapped his other arm around me, holding me just as tight as I held him.

“You can’t leave me,” I whispered. My face remained buried in his neck.

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“No!” I said, sitting up to face him. “I mean it. You can’t. You did this to me. I’d thought I’d steeled myself against this. Protected my heart behind reinforced steel doors, drowned in concrete, and surrounded it with a moat filled with man-eating alligators. But no, you come along and showed me that...shit, I don’t even know what I’m saying. But all I know...all I know is that now I’m here, and you love me. And I feel it, really feel it, without having to make excuses, or look for it in the smallest of actions so I feel better about myself. I don’t have to do that, I don’t have to tell myself you love me because you tell me, but it’s more than just saying the words. Like upstairs when you kissed me, it wasn’t the kiss, it was the after. How you looked at me...I was ready to cry.”

Malcolm reached up and wiped away the tears that rolled down my cheeks. “I’m glad you can feel how much I love you. That’s a good thing and it’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. But you sound very distressed, and that worries me.”

I put my hand on either side of his face, leaned forward, and kissed him. Hard. Desperate for him to feel what I had trouble saying. One of his hands slid up to the back of my neck, holding me in place. Our tongues danced. My lips hurt, but I didn’t care.

I pressed my body closer, rocking against his erection. Cool air hit my skin when Mal pulled up the fabric of my dress. His hands made their way under, grabbing and squeezing my ass. I pulled away, moving back in a frantic attempt to free him from his pants.

Malcolm put his hands on my wrists. “Ginger, baby, wait. Just wait.”

“I don’t want to wait, Malcolm. I’ve been waiting. Waiting to feel like this. I’ve been waiting to have someone love me like you do. To have someone love me as much as I love them.”

Malcolm let my hands go and sat back against the chair. A ping came from his computer, signally he’d gotten an email, but his eyes never left mine.

“I’m not distressed. Well, maybe I am a little. I need you. It’s hard. I can’t really put it into words, but I’m scared. The idea of losing you...I can’t breathe at the thought of that. I’m feeling all these things, things I’d sworn off because too much pain was associated with them. But with you, it’s like all new.”

I reached up, putting my hands on his cheeks. The course hair of his beard tickled my palms. I searched his face, drinking in the sight of him.

“I’ve been in love before. I’ve given my everything and got pain and heartache in return. I’ve been in love before, but never like this. The way that you love me makes me feel like I’m in love for the first time. I didn’t think it was possible. I didn’t think I had anything left to give, but it’s like there’s this part of me that remained untouched. Unjaded. That part of me that managed to hold out hope when I’d thought all was lost. The part of me that you claimed when I was fifteen when we shared our first kiss. My first kiss.”