If Ever(106)

*





I swept up the dead plant and once and for all dumped the remnants of Barbie into the trash. After a sleepless night worrying about Chelsea, I'm out of my mind. As of eight this morning, Anna still hasn't heard from her, but promised to contact the other girls to see if they know anything.

I wrack my brain to think of who she knows in the city, and other than a couple people in the cast, I can't think of anyone. I'm at a level of panic over her disappearance where normally, I'd call her parents, but with Chelsea that isn't an option. Maybe she just went to a hotel for a few days and will come back when she's calmed down. I hope. Please don't let it be the airport.

I can't think of any other bright ideas, so I head to the theater for the matinee. My mind is filled with images of Chelsea stranded in the cold somewhere, or at the Port Authority waiting for a bus. I pull up the collar of my coat as the wind whips. After talking with Anna, I understand why Chelsea freaked when I left. I'd had no idea my leaving with Barbie would dredge up her abandonment issues, which makes me an even bigger ass.

At the theatre, I check to see if anyone stopped by with a message, but nothing. Now's the time I need to pull myself together and put personal matters away, but until I know Chelsea is safe, I don't know how the hell I'm going to manage that. Everyone mills around going about their business as if it's a normal day. I duck into my dressing room unnoticed. There on my mirror is the snapshot of Chelsea and I from Celebrity Dance Off. Her twinkling eyes and exuberant face smile back at me.

"Chelsea, where are you?"





41





"Chelsea? Are you awake?" Dominic's voice brings me out of my fog.

My head pounds with a jabbing pain and every muscle hurts. I open my eyes. It's light out. I roll over to face the doorway. "Don't come in. I'm worse." My voice cracks.

He steps back. "What can I get you? Do you want me to run out for anything?"

"I could use a drink of water and a painkiller. I left the bottle in the bathroom last night."

“You bet.”

I wish I was home with Tom, and not in a stranger's bed, but we're past that now. I replay all the painful parts of yesterday over and over, where Tom ignores my begging him to stay and leaves me behind.

Dominic returns with a fresh glass of water, two pills and sets them next to the bed. When I sit up, my hand shakes, so I use both hands to lift the glass. The water tastes good, but hurts going down.

"You're freezing." He pulls an extra blanket from the closet. "Do you want something to eat before I head out?"

"I'm not hungry. Maybe I'll find something later." But my throat burns so bad I can't imagine swallowing anything.

He spreads the blanket over the rest of my bedding. "Sorry I have to leave you here alone."

"I wouldn't be very good company." I pull the blanket up around my neck. My head throbs with a fuzziness that leaves me unable to think clearly.

Dominic leans against the doorframe. "I really think Tom would want to know where you are. Especially with you so sick."

I shake my head. "His old girlfriend showed up, and after claiming she was subletting the other bedroom and whispering secrets to him, he left with her. He never came back, and he didn't answer any of my texts or calls." The image of Tom's retreating form haunts me. "We had a lot of fun, but it's run its course."

Dominic frowns. "Don't make any rash decisions. Sleep on it."





42





I stare at Chelsea's phone, hoping she'll call to see if someone has found it. But it remains aggravatingly silent. I've charged it and kept it near me at all times, other than when I'm on stage. Despite my efforts, I still can't get past her security code to find out who she last called, so it lays there useless in my hand.

Did she fly back to Iowa? If she did, why hasn't she called Anna? If Chelsea's goal was to disappear, she's done a damn good job of it. But what if something terrible has happened? New York can be dangerous.

Concentrating on the show is killing me. I can't turn off thinking about her, put her disappearance in a drawer, and pretend it's not tearing me apart. But I have a responsibility to the audience and the other cast members. Both Paige and Wes ask what's wrong. I need to pull myself together.





The next morning, after another miserable night alone, my soulmate missing, I call a few budget hotels to see if she might be registered, but no luck. I stop by our favorite coffee shop, but there's no sign of her.

Forcing myself through another night at work, a call comes through to my dressing room that I have a visitor at the stage door, an unusual occurrence right before curtain. I pray for Chelsea to be standing there. But she's not.

I'm taken aback when I see Dominic. I nearly double over with relief. "You know where she is."

He nods, and all my pent up stress and fear lift. "Thank God. I've been out of my mind."

"I'm sorry, man."

"It never occurred to me that Chelsea could be with you."

"She insisted I not tell you, but she's really sick. She's burning up with fever and mumbling a lot. I fly back to L.A. in the morning and I don't think she should be left alone."