If Ever(105)

"She's good at hiding her pain. I guess today pushed her over the edge."

Of course. Her dad run in, then seeing me with Tanya, and then Barbie. "Anna, is there any chance she's flying back to Iowa tonight?"

"She didn't mention it, but it's possible."

Five minutes to places sounds over the intercom.

"Could you call if you hear anything at all? I can't imagine where she went and I hate the idea of her on her own."

"What's your number, so I can call you direct?"

We exchange numbers. "I'm sorry, but I've got to run. I'll call after the show. Hopefully she'll have contacted you by then."

But after the show, Anna still hasn't heard anything. I walk home in the bitter cold feeling desolate as I look up at the dark windows of my flat. Chelsea, where are you?





40





The Uber drops me in front of a brick building. With my suitcases piled onto the sidewalk, I dig in my shoulder bag for my phone to text Dominic that I'm here. He's agreed to let me stay with him at his friend's place, but there's so much junk in my bag I can't find my phone. I rifle around but come up empty. I check my pockets, still no phone.

Despite the cold night, I feel hot and have a headache. I lean against the building and unzip my coat, taking a moment to catch my breath. Then I squat down on the sidewalk and pull things out of the bag, one by one, lining them up until all that's left is a few pens and loose change. No phone.

Shit. It must have fallen out in the Uber. There's no way to contact Dominic, and my phone is likely gone forever. I drop my toiletries back in the bag, ignoring the people walking by and staring as if I'm a homeless person, which I suppose I am.

I'm so tired, and my whole body hurts as I sit on the sidewalk next to my bags and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

"How long have you been here? I never got your call."

I look up to find Dominic. "Not sure. I left my phone in the Uber." I'm miserable from breathing the frigid air. It's like rubbing sandpaper over my raw throat. I struggle to get my frozen body off the sidewalk. Dominic offers a hand and pulls me up. It's good to see him. "Thanks for letting me crash. But I'm getting sick, so stay back."

He eyes my luggage. "You're not exactly traveling light."

"Yeah, it's a long story that I'd rather not get into."

Dominic frowns but takes the largest of the bags and opens the door for me to pass. On the way to the fifth floor apartment, he makes small talk about his upcoming tour. I try to smile supportively, but all I really want is a bed.

"Here we are. I'm upstairs in the loft. You can crash in the extra bedroom, but let me get some clean sheets for you. A friend of Paul's was here for some auditions a couple days ago."

He leads us down the hall to a small bedroom. "The bathroom is across the hall. There's another bath upstairs, so this one's all yours. The kitchen and living room are around the corner. Help yourself to anything, but there's not much."

"This is perfect. You're a lifesaver. I didn't know where else to go." I can't keep the sadness from my voice.

Dominic offers a smile. "Things will blow over with Tom."

I shake my head in doubt, kick off my shoes, and climb under the covers.

"Wait. Let me get the sheets."

"Unless someone's been filming porn in here, I really don't care. I'm exhausted and I ache all over."

He laughs. At least one of us is in a good mood. "All right, but at least let me bring your bags in."

"Whatever you like." I close my eyes and sigh, my muscles melting into the bedding as he moves around the room.

Then the mattress dips next to me. "You want to tell me what's going on with you and Tom?"

My throat tightens with emotion and I squeak, "It just didn't work out."

"Does he know where you are?"

I shoot upright. "No! And promise you won't tell."

"Chelsea, did he hurt you?" he asks with alarm.

I shake my head and lie back down. "Just broke my heart is all. And he doesn't even know he did."

Dominic puts a warm hand on my shoulder. "Aw, kiddo. I'm sorry."

"Me, too." I choke out with a cry.

"Hold on while I get you some water."

I'm warmer now, my fever is kicking back into gear, so I wiggle out of my coat and glance around the room. There's an overturned crate on each side of the bed with an album cover on it serving as nightstands. A bookcase rests against one wall, closet doors on another, and two windows with shades pulled on the other. The walls are bare.

Dominic returns with water and a bottle of pain relievers. I take two and grimace each time I swallow. My throat burns.

Dominic frowns. "I hear the flu is really bad this year. Did you get a flu shot?"

"Of course not. That would have made sense." And I remember that Tanya was out sick. Did I get the flu because she was kissing Tom? That's just great.

"Are you sure I can't call Tom?"

"Don't! I just want it over. I can't bear to see him again."

Dominic frowns, but nods. "All right. You get some sleep."