Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(44)

Paul’s lips moved, but he said nothing. He looked down as if he might find something to say in his lap.

“Do you promise?” Laura asked. “Promise me you’ll save her.”

“I… that’s my job.”

She continued to look at him. Her serious expression softened. “Paul, you’re a nice man.”

Then she leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

Paul hadn’t seen that coming, partially because he had been staring at his lap, but mainly because he had never expected any girl to want to kiss him. For a moment, he couldn’t think. So many new feelings raced through his brain and scrambled his thoughts — for it is well known that a good kiss can do just as much damage as a sip of flitter nectar can — but before he became completely lost in the moment, he took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her away.

“Why don’t we get you to bed,” he said gently.

“Good idea.” She giggled. “See? I’m swooning in your arms already.”

She clung to him like a child clinging to its father as he settled her on a nearby mat. When he started to get up, she didn’t let go. There was confusion on her face.

“Don’t… don’t you like me?”

“Of course I do,” Paul said.

“Then why…”

“Things will look a lot different in the morning,” he replied.

Again he tried to leave.

Again she pulled him back.

“Cold…” she said.

Paul sighed, eased down beside her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Content, Laura snuggled against him and closed her eyes.

Paul watched her for a moment then tenderly brushed the hair from her forehead. His fingers lingered on her cheek. He had to admit, she really was quite pretty.

And… she had kissed him.

A smile spread unbidden across his face.

She’d kissed him.

His lips tingled at the memory.

Turning to stare out the window, he caught sight of the waxing moon and suddenly found himself snapped back to reality. He pulled his hand from Laura’s cheek and pressed it against his eyes.

“Full moon tomorrow,” he whispered. “Gods, what am I doing?”

As if in response, thunder rumbled across the night sky.





30



THE PRINCESS IN THE WHEELBARROW


After spending several hours of its relatively short life cycle buzzing through the halls of Seeboth’s Shadowkeep, a small black fly finally chanced upon a room from which the most exquisite smell emerged.

Although the door was closed, a window slot at the top allowed the smell to escape and the fly to enter. The insect swooped down along the curve of the aroma, following it to a wheelbarrow piled high with the most beautiful mound of food the fly had ever seen.

It landed upon the peak of the moist mountain and rubbed its front legs together in anticipation. Its long hunt was over! It had food! It had a magnificent bed on which to lay its eggs!

It could finally fulfill its destiny—

POOPF!

Something large and silky and solid abruptly sat upon the fly and crushed its tiny dreams.

Princess Luscious had reappeared in place of the manure pile, and she looked furious. The stench of her prior incarnation still lingered in the air of her cell.

“He did it.” She fumed as she clambered from the wheelbarrow. “The fiend actually transmuted me!”

The moment her feet touched the floor, she swooned unexpectedly. Grabbing the handles of the wheelbarrow for support, she found her face flushing. The experience of transmutation had left her body momentarily swirling in confusion, and she had to admit, the sensation was not entirely unpleasant.

“Oh my, that felt… interesting,” she said. “Perhaps… perhaps he has more masculine organs than I gave him credit for…”

But the feeling soon passed, and the reality of her situation came crashing down upon her just as her bottom had come crashing down upon the fly.

“Oh no, the moon is nearly full!”

Folding her hands so tightly that she squeezed the blood from her knuckles, Princess Luscious began to pray. “Jahalael, please send my prince. Send him soon. I don’t have much time.”

Something crunched under her foot — a long, thin finger, one of the fallen skeleton’s bones. As she looked at it, a desperate idea took shape in her mind, and another desperate prayer formed on her lips. “But in case he’s late, could you bless this lock pick, too?”

She grabbed the finger bone from the floor and ran over to the door where she immediately jammed it into the lock and jiggled it around.

The finger bone snapped.

No problem, I have nine more, she thought as she plucked another and went back to work.





31



NEW YORK CITY


TWO DAYS FROM NOW



Peeking over the city skyline, the morning sun filtered through the smoggy haze. Traffic grumbled along concrete valleys, the endless parade of cars and taxis stabbing at each other with their horns. Scowling people strode to work armored inside business suits and shielded behind their phones.

The city stretched itself awake.

Somewhere at the back of an out-of-the-way alley, a leather briefcase plunked down on the hood of a car. A serious man wearing a black suit opened it to reveal bags of something illegal.