Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(46)

The reality of the situation descended on the group, but no one felt it more devastatingly than Paul. His insides burned, sweat boiled from every pore, and he was certain he would be sick at any moment.

He was also certain he would be dead at any moment.

He glanced at the faint glimmer of the retreating Poxie and dearly wished he could go with her. But… he couldn’t. He hopped down to the dock below.

“I think she’s got the right idea,” he said. “I… I can’t ask you to come.”

Jack staggered to the helm. “That’s good, because I don’t think I can.”

“This is suicide,” Laura said. “You can’t go in there alone!”

Paul offered her the weakest smile of his career. “You said it yourself, I’m a Prince Charming.”

“This is a stupid, ridiculous system!”

“It’s my job.”

“Well… it may be your job, but it’s still my fault.” Laura jumped onto the dock beside him, and the aged, waterlogged wood groaned in annoyance. “I’m coming with you.”

Paul’s eyes opened wide, and he couldn’t make them get small again; his concern for Laura wouldn’t let him. “No you’re not. This is serious. I cannot guarantee your safety.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

They stared at each other. The concern they felt was mutual. Paul’s eyes finally allowed him to close them slightly in order to produce an expression of resignation. He looked up at the Sphinx. “Jack, take the ship out to deeper waters. You’ll be safe there until I call for you.”

“Yeah, don’t you worry, I’ll be heading for deep waters all right,” Jack said. Then he muttered under his breath, “May the gods smile upon you. Or whatever it is they’re supposed to do.”

With that, far quicker than Paul had hoped, Jack was gone, swallowed up by the mist.

The time had come.

Paul and Laura headed toward the cave below the Shadowkeep, a cave that yawned at them like the biggest, hungriest mouth in the world.

“Umm… about last night…” Laura said.

“It’s all right.”

“No. I want to… in case… I’m afraid—”

“What?”

“No, never mind. This isn’t the time,” she said quickly.

“This might be the only time,” Paul said. “Tell me.”

Laura couldn’t look at him as she spoke. “I… I just wanted to tell you… maybe you’re more of a Prince Charming than I thought, and… and to say that I… I think I—”

“Help me!”

A woman’s voice echoed from the cavern mouth. A moment later, the woman herself followed it.

Laura couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “Luscious?” she said.

The radiant princess sprinted across the beach and slammed into Paul’s arms. The emperor’s daughter was even more beautiful than Paul had imagined. Her fragrance clouded his mind with thoughts of kissing… thoughts of Laura’s kiss. He tried to focus.

“P-Princess?” he stuttered.

“Oh, thank the gods!” she cried, throwing her arms around his neck and sending a wondrous thrill through his body. “Please sir, I beg of you! I’ve escaped an evil wizard and his minions, but they’re right behind me—”

“Um, okay… I have a ship.” Paul tried to sound as manly and commanding as he could. He grabbed her hand that he might lead her to the dock, but then she saw his face and pulled away.

“Wait,” she said. “Are you the Prince Charming they sent me?”

Confused, Paul said, “I… yes. The Lottery sent me—”

She shoved him away with utter contempt, leaving the timid prince standing stunned. Laura ran up beside them.

“Luscious? What are you doing?!”

The princess ignored the handmaiden, turning the full fury of her scorn upon Paul. “You pathetic toad — did you think someone like you could sweep someone like me off my feet? I’d rather be sacrificed!”

Every one of Paul’s fears surged from the base of his feet to the top of his head, every failure he had ever imagined becoming reality in that one terrible moment, every fate worse than death about to become his very literal death.

“I… I… I…” He was completely and utterly frozen, everything he had ever known, every word he could possibly say, shoved aside and replaced by this one, calamitous moment.

That’s when Princess Luscious jammed her hand into his face. Before anyone could react, her hand melted into a mass of slithering shadows that poured into his eyes.

“That’s not Luscious!” Laura screamed rather obviously.

No, it was Fear Incarnate.

Laura charged forward to help Paul, but a shadowy tentacle burst from the back of the Fear-Luscious entity. It slithered forward and restrained the handmaiden in its coils.

Paul clawed at the shadows over his eyes like a drowning man claws at the surface of the water, all to no avail. He slowly went limp.

But his nightmare was not over.

Out of the blackness that filled his mind, figures began to take shape. They resolved from the gloom, wearing sparkling crowns and silken robes and long mink capes. Hundreds of glamorous princes and princesses surrounded Paul, the very people he’d always wished he could be.