Fallen Woman(56)
Derrick nodded with uncertainty.
“What if you came to stay with me?”
“Jase…” I used his name as a plea not to make promises to him. There was so much legal crap he’d have to go through. It’s one thing to play with a kid here and there, but taking legal guardianship was quite another.
He ignored me and spoke anyhow. “Somehow, we’ll figure this out, but until then, you can stay here with me, and Gianna, and Trace, Megan, and Emmy.”
Derrick sucked his lips between his teeth and threw his suit covered arms around Jase’s neck.
My horde joined us in the kitchen not long after, all dressed for what seemed to be a continuous loop of the worst day of my life. The last five days had all run together, starting at Holland’s house and leading up to this very moment. Jase hadn’t brought the nurse back up, but once all this settled down, once we buried Miss Pearl, once we got Derrick situated and the kids and I went back home—he’d remember and he wouldn’t let it go.
The ceremony was small, just us in attendance and a pastor the funeral home provided. Miss Pearl had stopped going to church about the time I’d met her. I think her health had been failing long before I’d seen the signs. Jase had covered the expenses, so I didn’t go lavish, but it was still pretty. The flowers were sparse, but she would have thought it was excessive and a waste of money anyhow, and the casket was just a dark mahogany color with brass handles. “Amazing Grace” was played, and I’d never felt the words the way I did that day standing graveside. I’d been blessed to have her in my life for the time I’d been granted, and I knew she was in a place she no longer felt any pain.
Jase started the legal process of gaining guardianship of Derrick. He couldn’t adopt him without his mother’s consent, but since no one knew where she was, the state was more than happy to fast track the foster process for Jase. All it takes is money and a great attorney—both of which Jase had in spades.
The kids and I needed to go home. We’d been at Jase’s house too long, and they were getting way too comfortable being there. I had to return to work on Monday but had no clue what I’d do about childcare until the school year started in two weeks. That would take care of the twins, but it still left Emmy to worry about. Although, that would have to be another day’s concern—today, I had to take care of cleaning out Pearl’s apartment…a task I wasn’t looking forward to. Jase kept the kids to allow me the day to do what I needed, and the landlord had given me through the weekend to vacate the apartment so he could release it. I didn’t realize the projects were in such high demand, but I kept my thoughts to myself.
I let myself in and found everything just as it had been the day I found her on the floor. There was little I could do other than pack up her things and give them to Goodwill. I’d called them, and they were scheduled to come pick everything up at four, so I only had a few hours to determine what Derrick might want later, keep a couple things for the kids and me, and pack up or trash everything else. It was daunting, but I’d get it done. If nothing else, I’d make sure I had stuff for Derrick.
After a couple of hours in the kitchen, tossing just about everything into boxes or the trash, I’d moved to the living room. I saved the few pictures she had on display, knowing one was of her daughter, the others of her and Derrick, or Derrick and Trace. I set the blanket she always kept on the couch into the box for Derrick and then moved it to my box. I wanted him to be able to use it, to have something tangible to wrap himself up in that reminded him of her. The bathroom was just like the kitchen—boxed up for charity or trash, but mostly trash.
Her room proved to be the most difficult. Derrick’s stuff had already been removed and taken to Jase, so the only things remaining were Pearl’s, and everything I touched brought her face to mind. I missed her fiercely. My broken spirit needed her reminders and her strength. Lurking in the back of my mind, the recesses I wasn’t ready to deal with were the issues of only a few nights ago, but I got to dwell in this sorrow for now. I cried as her scent overwhelmed me. Her Bible sat on her nightstand, and as much as I wanted it, I put it in Derrick’s box. I set aside a couple pieces of her costume jewelry for the girls and ended up finding a beautiful wooden cigar box in the dresser I’d thought would be perfect for Trace—until I opened it.
Tucked neatly inside were hundreds of dollars, maybe thousands, and stationary folded neatly around the stacks of bills. I felt like I was intruding but knew there was no one else to go through any of it. I opened the paper to find her aged, shaky handwriting and a note written to me.
Gianna,
If you’re reading this, then I have left you, something I never wanted to do but it was inevitable. I prayed for you long before you came, although I never shared that with you. I had been diagnosed with heart problems and knew Trina wouldn’t be around for Derrick. God brought you, and then Jase, to care for my baby. He needs you both, and I know in my heart, you’ll find a way to take care of him after I’m gone.
Sweet girl, you’re exactly what I wished for my Trina to be, and I hope someday she’ll realize how foolhardy she’s been, but I’m not sure that day will ever come. You have a light, a gift, a spirit that calls to people. You’re a beautiful soul, and God has amazing plans for you. I know you’re hurting child, I know you’re scared, but allow Him to show you what He has destined for you. I promise it’s more glorious than anything you could ever dream on your own.