Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(57)
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Poster outside my store
Hi Fawn,
Can you please remove the poster you have stapled to the telephone pole on my property? It’s very distracting and a bit of an eyesore.
Thank you,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 18, 2019 at 3:30 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Poster outside my store
Dear Mark,
I wasn’t aware that the telephone pole directly in front of your store is your property and not the property of the city of Philadelphia. Therefore, I apologize for putting my poster there. Since that pole is surely the property of the Grimy Mug, then can you please climb up there and take care of the poor connection that has always afflicted my landline? I’m so glad to have come in contact with a real person that can take ownership of this issue so that I no longer have to wrestle with the soulless telephone company to get things done.
Please provide proof that the pole is in fact your property, and I will swiftly take the poster down. Otherwise, it shall remain.
Best wishes,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Mon, Feb 18, 2019 at 4:03 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Poster outside my store
Hi Fawn,
Not only is it dangerous to staple anything to utility poles, but it is illegal. Please take down the ad.
Best,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 18, 2019 at 4:50 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Poster outside my store
Dear Mark,
I fail to see how it is illegal to post anything on telephone poles. And your warning that it is dangerous is preposterous. I am nowhere near the wire itself. I will look this up online, as I think you are starting to make things up out of fear that I may entice people to come to my store over yours. How sad.
Best,
Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
P.S. Sorry I mistyped your store as the Grimy Mug. It’s an easy mistake to make, as the two words are so similar.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 18, 2019, 5:03 PM
To: Staff
Subject: Poster
Dear Sam,
Please walk over and remove the poster from the telephone pole. No need to try to save it; just rip it off and come back. Apparently I can get a citation from the city for posting an advertisement on a telephone pole. Who knew?
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
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February 22, 2019
For the first time in my career, I have had to dip into my savings account to pay my employees. For some time now, I have been using it to pay the bills, but paying employees with a credit card is like paying in pounds of flesh—there is only so much one can give. I don’t know how I will keep it up. I don’t want to fire any of them. Angela is kind, Kyle is indispensable because he’ll do almost anything, and Sam is . . . well, Sam has some positive qualities, I suppose. At least he’s not terrible to look at.
The stairs to the second floor are in worsening shape. Securing that sagging step on the way up to the romance and children’s sections seemed to do nothing. Perhaps it was due to the many guests from the Mark Twain event. In any case, I decided to try and fix it myself last night with a sledgehammer and crowbar and some nails. It took some time getting the old step to come up but eventually and with enough pounding and wrenching it released—and so quickly that I nearly tumbled down the stairs! I replaced it with a new plank of wood; however, the wood I had bought was too short so I did my best to center it. As long as people don’t walk up the sides of the step, no one should fall into the little well underneath. It was a real workout when it was all said and done—three hours later! The wine helped.
I’m beginning to wonder more and more if one of those rich snobs from Princeton stole Butterscotch. I can almost picture him batting the windows of their BMW SUV with his impotent little paws, begging to be back with his mother. I can see them driving with that self-righteous smug look on their face—so sure they are getting justice. The thought breaks my heart, but it’s much better than the thought of him being out in the street fighting off cats and dogs with no claws—with only his wits and will to survive. In this way, he and I must be in very similar situations. I hope we both come out of it together intact.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Feb 25, 2019 at 9:02 AM
To: Staff
Subject: Reconnoitering
Kyle,
Please do me a favor and go to the Grumpy Mug and look for Butterscotch. I had an epiphany in the middle of the night that he might have been stolen by Mark or one of his minions and is currently being held in captivity. Please try to be very inconspicuous. Buy some coffee, peruse the shelves, ask questions about what books they have, and keep an eye out for Butterscotch. Keep an ear open too! I would go, but I have sworn to never set foot in that awful place.