Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(62)



All that said, it would be nice to hear something from my family. They don’t know about Butterscotch because I haven’t told them, which I can’t fault them for. Still, it would be appreciated if someone reached out to check on things. Just because they are not hearing from me does not mean I am okay.



From: Angela Washington

Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 9:34 AM

To: Fawn Birchill

Subject: Jellybean

So Rainbow bounced to go do some tricks in Center City and left me with Jellybean. It is now pooping on the floor and chewing on cables. Not sure what to do here.





—A


From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 10:24 AM

To: Angela Washington

Re: Jellybean

Angela,

I’m sorry that I only just saw this. I hope Jellybean is okay. Also, Jellybean is a she, a pronoun that Rainbow insists upon, as she says, “Animals have souls and are not ‘its.’”

I am currently dealing with a refrigerator leak but I will be down shortly to retrieve her and put her in the cage. I am not sure why Rainbow didn’t do that initially.

Many thanks,

Fawn, Owner

From: Angela Washington

Sent: Sat, Apr 6, 2019 at 10:29 AM

To: Fawn Birchill

Re: Jellybean

I don’t know why she didn’t think of it either. It could have had something to do with Rainbow being “struck by sudden inspiration” to run off to Center City and do some magic. She actually used the words, “The muse is attacking me.” She barely had time to put her shoes on before running out the door, so I guess Jellybean was far from her mind.

Thanks.





—A




From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 12:13 PM

To: Angela Washington

Subject: Internet games

Dear Angela,

I don’t mind that you check email or the news once in a while, but please don’t sit at the front register and play on the internet all day. From the middle of the stairs, I can see your screen. It wasn’t my intention to come down and spy on you; I merely wanted to see the kind of customer volume we have today, and my eyes were drawn to the glowing screen. A good way to spend your time might be to clean up the Mark Twain Room, as according to a local “journalist,” it looks like a tornado blew through.

Many thanks,

Fawn, Owner



From: Hank Turo

Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 2:42 PM

To: Fawn Birchill

Re: Cats for sale

Answers below.

Are they declawed? No

How are they with rabbits? No clue

Are they aloof or friendly? All are friendly

Are they litter-box trained? Yes

Are they wormed, spayed/neutered, tick-free, flea-free? Yes

Have they scratched, hissed, bitten? Yes, they are cats



Hank

From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Mon, Apr 8, 2019 at 3:30 PM

To: Hank Turo

Re: Cats for sale

Hank,

Thank you for answering all my questions. I would only be interested in one cat. How did you come about acquiring six adult cats? Did a grandmother recently die, or are you a Good Samaritan who collects strays off the street? You could easily put them in shelters but instead you sell them, so I want to be sure that this is an admirable, philanthropic venture and that you are not, for example, breaking into people’s homes and robbing them of their cats to turn a profit. I wouldn’t want to support such a scheme.

Where are you located so that I can perhaps visit them? That is, after you answer me on how you acquired these animals.

Best wishes,

Fawn, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium

From: Hank Turo

Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 9:33 AM

To: Fawn Birchill

Re: Cats for sale

I did not steal these cats. Three are from my sister who recently divorced her husband and had to move to a smaller place. Two have been taken in from the street and cared for and the last one I’ve had for years, but he won’t stop humping the other cats. Mainly, I’m just looking to get rid of the five so the humper doesn’t have anyone to violate, but you can take him if you want.

I don’t like being accused of crimes I didn’t commit.

I live in South Philly.

Let me know if you’re still interested.

Hank

From: Fawn Birchill

Sent: Tue, Apr 9, 2019 at 12:26 PM

To: Hank Turo

Re: Cats for sale

Hank,

In no way was it my goal to offend. I am a sensitive person when it comes to animals and the cruelty and moneygrubbing that often befalls them. As they cannot speak for themselves, it is so much more important that we stand up for them. Hence my accusation was well intentioned.

Now, on to the matter of the cats. I am looking for a cat that can help me run my popular bookstore. Since you are down in South Philadelphia, I am unsure if you have ventured across the river for reading material, as there are some good bookstores down there, unfriendly though they may be. But perhaps only to me? A year ago I contacted a store in your area to team up, but they outright refused to have any business with me, stating that they have heard of my store and think that I “make other used bookstores look bad.” Ridiculous! Aside from the rather shocking words (I realize now they were only jealous), I am often mystified by this standoffish behavior.

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