Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(64)
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 10:30 AM
To: Hank Turo
Subject: Apologies
Hank,
I couldn’t remember if I wrote to tell you that I had decided on the cat, so I checked to see if I sent any emails last night to find, to my horror, that I in fact did tell you and rather drunkenly to boot. I apologize profusely for making you a victim of my tipsy emails. Of course, it could be worse. Luckily I don’t get into cars and hit people, but I do believe drunk emailing is one of those unspoken awful truths that we tend to forget happens until we find ourselves the victim or the instigator. I hope this doesn’t make you change your mind about adopting out one of your cats. I am so embarrassed and beg for your understanding and forgiveness.
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 1:12 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Subject: Author reading
Dear Mark,
I was surprised to be walking by your store today to see a poster in the window advertising an author reading. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was none other than Ian McEwan. I am impressed that you were able to snag someone as enormously famous and successful as he, so my question to you is: Being as small-time and new as you are, how much did you offer him? I can only assume that two scenarios exist here: either you are fabulously wealthy and no one is the wiser or you have astounding connections. I believe the former to be truer, for if you did have excellent connections you wouldn’t have purchased a store on a street that constantly floods, is laden with potholes, and has a severe mildew problem (it’s in every building, trust me on that). I realize money could have bought you a nice high-rent spot on Rittenhouse, but let’s be honest with ourselves and admit that it is not wealth that helps us make intelligent decisions but the know-how and ingenuity that good connections can bring.
So surely, unlike me, you cannot lure him on merit alone, having only been open a few months. I imagine someone like you must utilize other tactics—financial tactics, perhaps? Don’t worry about divulging such things to me, as you know I am only asking out of curiosity from one business owner to another. I’ve oft thought of dragging authors in from their busy and reclusive lives to do a reading but it seems, in a strange way, to be such a selfish move on my part. Shouldn’t they be churning out new material and not languishing in the past, wallowing in what they’ve already accomplished? Why not have someone else read their material so they can get back to work!? It’s all the same on paper! Anyway, I am not saying this to convince you to halt this lofty idea, but think on what it might mean to Mr. McEwan, who no doubt has to give up precious writing time to read from a book.
Best wishes,
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 2:41 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Author reading
Hi Fawn,
Sorry, I can’t share what I’m paying Ian to come and read. That said, it would be great to have you here. Perhaps you can meet him and do some networking of your own—that wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. And then next time around he might be interested in coming to your store instead?
Best,
Mark
P.S. Lately I’ve noticed a woman hanging around performing magic tricks outside your store. Is she one of your employees? If not, and if you do not wish her to be there, you have every right to ask her to move on.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 3:00 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Author reading
Dear Mark,
Thank you for inviting me to the reading, even though it is a public event and if I wanted to go I would simply show up. However, I believe you know me by now to be a staunch businesswoman who never goes halfway. Since you appear to be adamant in continuing your course with Mr. McEwan, I intend, as selfish as it sounds, to request that he visit my store as well (this time around, not some nebulous next time). I was simply asking the price so that I can offer him a competitive rate. And because you will not divulge this, I see that we cannot be colleagues with like-minded interests but that we must be alienated from each other—foes that, if seen within cannon range in the dead of night, may fire shots. This saddens me. Please know I will always be open to being friends and that it is your stubborn attitude that halts the progress of mutual amicability.
Yours in business,
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium
P.S. The magician you speak of is named Rainbow, and she is one of my tenants. Even though things are rocky between you and me, you should feel free to say hello, as she is a lovely person of many talents! Oh, and she has corrected me many times, so I feel the need to pay in kind. She calls them illusions, not tricks.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 13, 2019 at 6:40 PM
To: Ian McEwan
Subject: A visit to my humble store?
Dear Mr. McEwan,
First let me start out by stating that you are an incredible author and no doubt extremely busy with all the obligations that come with constant success, that is, book tours, interviews, seminars—oh, and writing! But please take a moment and consider this thought. I own one of the most unquestionably successful used bookstores in Philadelphia. People come from everywhere to peruse my tomes, so it is with great humbleness that I implore you to deviate only slightly from your book tour route and pay a visit (and perhaps sign a few books) at my shop. I learned about your trip as I was passing by the Grumpy Mug Bookstop down the block from my shop, and was thrilled—and I daresay a little hopeful—that you would be gracing our sidewalks.