Bullet(57)

I was hesitant but wanted to know. His band had been performing for a couple of years. He had oodles more experience than I did. I wanted to know. “Sure.”

“You have a great voice, Valerie. Not a lot of women can pull off metal. And you do some great stuff with your voice. But…I’d love to hear you scream more.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…try a deep growl or just a crazy scream. You don’t want to do it through the whole thing, but it could really punctuate a lot of the other cool shit you got goin’ on.” I nodded my head. “You ever hear In This Moment?” I raised my eyebrows. “You know, Maria Brink.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“There’s a woman knows how to do metal.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Thanks.”

His eyes twinkled. “I’ll be listening.”

I looked over for my remaining two bandmates. Nick had disappeared, and Zane was talking to two girls beside him. “So, seriously…do I call you Clayton or Jet?”

He got a huge grin on his face. “Well, it depends.”

“On what?”

“Do you want me sweet or dirty?”

Oh. Wow. He really was pushing all the right buttons. But I was a good girl. “Well…considering I have a, uh, well, um, I’m kind of seeing somebody, I think I’ll have to take you sweet.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Kind of seeing somebody?”

I’m not sure why I told him, but I said, “Yeah. He’s my secret boyfriend.”

“Secret boyfriend? If you were with me, the whole world would know it.”

I wanted to change the subject. My relationship with Ethan was off the table, and I didn’t want Zane overhearing our conversation anyway. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

His eyes grew serious, but I could see the playfulness in them. “Then I guess you’d better call me Clay. You want the bad boy, ask for Jet. He’ll come running, secret boyfriend or not.”

Well, if that didn’t make me just love this boy, nothing would. I felt almost winded, but then Brad showed up. “Val, we gotta go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He noticed Clayton. “Hey, Jet. How’s it goin’, man? Great show, by the way.”

“Thanks. You too.” He tipped his head toward me. “Nice addition to your band.”

Brad grinned at me. “Yeah. We thought so too.”

To me, Clayton said, “By the way, I really like my shirt on you.”

Brad noticed the shirt then. “Cool. Didn’t even notice.” He looked back at Clayton. “See you around.”

I gave Clayton a tiny wave and smiled. He smiled back, and then I realized he probably thought Brad was my boyfriend…not that it mattered. Nothing could happen between Clayton and me, no matter how cute he was. Nothing.





Chapter Twenty-four



ETHAN WAS SERIOUSLY messed up. Brad, Zane, and I stood outside the van while Ethan was passed out in the back. He’d just thrown up, and Brad had told him to sleep it off.

“I don’t know if I should take him to the ER or not.”

I asked, “What’d he take, Brad?”

“No f*ckin’ idea.”

“Why the hell does he do this?”

Brad gave me a look, and I knew why. We’d discussed this before, and he wasn’t willing to talk about it again, no matter how much it bothered me. Zane broke the ice. “Nick coming?”

“Nope. He’s got a ride.”

“Yeah, I bet he’s got a helluva ride. Lucky motherf*cker.”

Brad asked, “So do we take him to the hospital or not?”

“How’s he doing?”

“Better than before.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“I guess.” Brad looked over at Zane then back to me. “Good luck.”

I opened the van door and stepped in. I heard Brad and Zane talking quietly, and I didn’t know if they were trying to keep their conversation from Ethan or from me. But I knelt in the tight space between the driver’s seat and the bench seat behind it, near where Ethan’s head lay. I put my hand on his forehead. It was cool and clammy. I whispered, “Ethan?”

He moved his head toward my voice. “Hmm?”

“How are you?”

“Okay.”

“You sure? Should we take you to get help?”

He was quiet for a moment. “No. I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

He opened his eyes. I could see them only because of the dim dome light. “I’m fine.” He took another breath, but it didn’t seem normal. His breathing seemed shallow. “I just wanna go home.” He seemed halfway coherent, but I still didn’t feel sure.

I kissed his cheek. “I just worry about you. I love you.”

“Then just take me home, okay?”

I don’t know what kind of response I’d expected, but I hadn’t expected abrupt. Still, he was under the influence of something, and I was willing to let the rudeness slip. “Okay.” I stepped back outside the van and told Brad and Zane what Ethan had said.

So we made the trip back to our apartment. We were quiet. Brad even had the radio turned down low. I sat in my usual seat but kept turning around to look at Ethan. His head was rolling back and forth with the motion of the van, but he seemed to be passed out for the most part.

When we got home, Brad and Zane helped Ethan inside. Both wrapped an arm over their shoulders to help him. I was still worried, but Ethan forced a smile, so I thought maybe he’d be okay. Once upstairs, Brad said, “I’m gonna put him on the couch so we can keep an eye on him.”

“Then I’m sleeping out here too.”

“You can have my cot.”

“No. I’m not taking your bed. I’ll just sleep in the chair.” The one soft chair in the room. I didn’t plan on sleeping much anyway.

Brad insisted, but I wasn’t going to budge. I just smiled and then brushed my teeth, slipped off my boots, and changed from jeans to sweats. He and Zane were in the kitchen talking, but I walked past them into the living room. I sat on the couch beside Ethan. “You sure you’re doing all right?”

He blinked at me. He had a little more color in his face. “Yeah.”

“Want something to drink?” He nodded. “Be right back.”

I went back in the kitchen and grabbed a glass. I poured him some water. Brad asked, “He still seem okay?”

“He said he wanted something to drink. That’s a good sign, right?”

He shrugged. He looked worried, and I knew why. Ethan was like his brother, and Brad was torn. I was too, but Ethan talking and looking a little more coherent had alleviated my worries a little bit. When I got back to the living room, I sat next to him again. “I have your water here.”

He opened his eyes again and lifted his head a little. I placed my hand on the back of his neck and brought the water to his lips. He sipped and then rested his head back. He focused on me. “Where’d you get that shirt?”

I wasn’t going there…not now anyway. “At the show tonight.” That was all he needed to know.

“Oh…looks good on you.” He lay his head back and, within seconds, started snoring softly.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I would drift off and then wake right back up, then check on Ethan and sit back down. Sometime several hours past midnight, Ethan’s breathing seemed completely normal, and I started to relax. And, at some point after that, I drifted into a deeper sleep.

The next morning, I woke up feeling stiff and uncomfortable all over. Ethan wasn’t on the couch. Brad and Zane were still sleeping on their cots. I got up, hoping Ethan was okay. As I moved to the other end of the apartment, I heard the shower in the bathroom. It might have been Nick, but then I realized the big bedroom’s door was open. I tapped on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” It was Ethan.

“Everything okay?” I asked through the door.

“Yeah. Be out in a minute.”

I went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Brad came in. “How’s he doing?”

“He said he’s okay.”

There was an uncomfortable silence between Brad and me, and I wasn’t sure what the cause of it was. Looking back over the past week, I knew it could have been caused by anything. But Brad had become my closest friend here. So, after I poured us both a cup of coffee and I sat at the table, I asked, “Everything okay with you?”

He nodded, but his eyes said something different entirely. I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem too sure.”

“It’s cool, Val. It is.”

I knew it wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to press my luck. I only wanted him to know I cared. “I just…worry about you too. I know you’re doing a lot for all of us, and I appreciate it.”