Bullet(35)

And stupid me. I couldn’t help but kiss him back.

* * *

The next night, I decided to play up my sexy side. If Ethan wanted me back (and I hoped to push it that far), he was going to have to win me back. But I had to make him want me. So I wore a leather mini wraparound skirt with a red baby doll t-shirt and matching sandals. My toenails were painted pink. I knew I looked good and couldn’t wait to see Ethan’s eyes. I’d dreamed about him all night, and I knew it was because he was making me feel like he cared again.

I decided to walk. It was a warm evening in late spring, and my parents lived less than ten blocks away. As planned, I texted Brad when I got to the bar where they were playing. It was an old biker’s bar that I hadn’t thought people went to very often, but Brad assured me they’d be packed. It just so happened the guys were playing with the same two bands they had the night before. My town was just an hour away from the Springs, so it wasn’t too far out of their way, and I thought it was cool that they were playing together twice.

Brad texted me to come to the back because there was a door there, so I walked around the old building and, sure enough, Brad was standing outside leaning up against the wall. He smiled, but the smile quickly faded, and it took me a few seconds to figure out why. I hadn’t anticipated the effect my clothes would have on him. I’d only been thinking about Ethan when I’d chosen my outfit. He let out a long slow whistle, but then he tried to lighten the mood, so I had no idea what he really thought. “I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen your legs, young lady.” I grinned but wasn’t sure what to say. He stood up straight as I got closer. “Sure I can’t talk you into singing with me again tonight? You kicked ass doing it on the fly last night.”

I considered it. Once I’d actually started singing, my nerves had settled and I’d enjoyed it. No, that wasn’t true. I hadn’t just enjoyed it. I’d relished it, eaten it up, imagined myself doing it over and over and loving every second of it. Yeah, Brad had put me on the spot last night, but we’d managed to do a great job never having rehearsed before. Now, I could say we’d at least done it and done fine. So did I really want to do it again? “Yeah, okay.”

“Good. Now I can take Worrying that Valerie’s gonna kill me off my list. Seriously, you won’t have to worry about being underage in there then, because you’re part of us.” He started walking, leading me inside the building. “Maybe we could have you do two songs. Maybe you should sing ‘Metal Forever.’ I f*cking love that song.”

“Oh, no. I’m not stepping on Ethan’s toes.”

He lowered his voice as we made our way through the hallway. “You wrote the goddamned song, Val. It should be your choice.”

I stopped walking. A few steps further and he realized it, turning around. “I wrote it for him. He sings it. End of story.”

He sighed and then grinned. “Fine. But you’re cool with a duet again?” I nodded. “Or would you rather sing it solo this time?”

“What would you rather do?”

“I asked you.”

I was torn. Part of me wanted to sing solo, just to see if I could do it without choking, but the audience was there to see Fully Automatic, not Fully Automatic and Valerie Quinn. I felt like I’d be cheating the audience if I sang it solo. And so I told Brad that.

“That’s cool.”

He led me onstage to where they were setting up Nick’s drum kit. Zane was helping him, but Ethan was over to the side tuning his guitar. Yep, immersed in it again, oblivious to all else. Typical. But Brad asked them, “Got this?”

They were just about done. I looked out at the bar floor, and there were already a lot of people ready to rock out. So he turned around to me again and got close, putting his arm over my shoulders. “Sure I can’t talk you into singing one more song?”

I smiled. “Yes, I’m sure.” I looked around. “So, where do I hang until then? Can I join the audience?”

“Maybe you could, but I’m not sure how we’d get you back up here in a smooth fashion. You wanna just hang out over there by the side of the stage, kinda out of the way? Maybe we could get a chair out of one of the rooms in back.”

“I guess that would be okay.” If I hadn’t seen them the night before, I might have been upset by it, because I had wanted to watch them. But I’d seen them in action now, and so I could watch them from the side this time. He left to find a chair, and I turned back around to see what progress was being made on the drums. That’s when I noticed Ethan looking at me. I had no idea what he was thinking, because his expression gave nothing away. He didn’t look happy, though, and that’s when I realized he’d seen Brad’s arm around me. I could have kicked myself. How would Ethan and I ever stand a chance if he didn’t think he had a shot?

So I walked over to him, smiling. “Hey, Ethan. How’s it going?”

He shrugged. “Fine.” Again, it felt like something weird was going on. He wasn’t acting normally. He acted mellower than he should have been at that moment—he should have been hyped—and his pupils were dilated again, just like they’d been last night. I might not have been worldly, but I was pretty sure Ethan was on something.

Had he already noticed my outfit? Did he not care? Or had he just wanted to see if I’d come running? Well, if his kisses last night were simply designed to see if I’d be the stupid starry-eyed girl who’d respond to the snap of his fingers, it had worked, and I felt foolish. I decided right then that I wouldn’t say another word to Ethan that night unless he spoke first. So I just nodded and walked over to see Zane and Nick.

“Goddamn, girl, you’re gonna steal all the attention. Yeah, these biker dudes love to hear us, but they like to look at women like you.”

Woman? That was a first. I didn’t know that I quite felt like a woman yet. Still, it was flattering. “What makes you think I’m gonna steal your attention? I’m not even gonna be up here.”

His expression changed. “I thought Brad was going to have you sing a few songs.” Oops.

I shook my head. “Nope. We’re doing what we did last night, but that’s it. He asked about another, but I’m just doing the duet again.”

He nodded. “Oh. That’s too bad.”

I was going to ask him why when Brad showed back up and showed me where he’d placed the chair, but he told me to move it to wherever I thought I’d get the best vantage point.

Soon, they started their show, and Brad only asked me to do the song we’d agreed upon. I’d been nervous, based on what Zane had said, that Brad might try conning me into something more, but he didn’t. And, just like the night before, the crowd seemed to like it, even though they hadn’t been expecting me.

I helped them take their equipment off stage when it was over, and once we had it tucked out of the way for the next band, we then had to take it out to the rented trailer attached to their van. Brad said, “Check out our tour bus, Val.”

I started laughing. It was a long navy blue van that had seen better days. “Complete with kitchen and bathroom, right?”

“Gotta start somewhere. At least, tucked in all the right places, we can fit all of us and any extra shit we need to tote that won’t fit in the trailer. When we get more of our own amps and shit, the little trailer won’t cut it anymore. For now, though, it works.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“I bought it from a church that was upgrading to a newer model.” He got up close to the side, but it was dark, so I couldn’t see it anyway. “If you look closely, you can see the old lettering I had to peel off.”

“Very cool.” I was impressed, and it was right then that I realized how focused Brad was. He was doing everything he’d said he was going to do. He was getting his band gigs and making sure they could get to them easily. I wondered how much the other guys drove the plans along. But it didn’t matter. They had Brad in their corner, and he was beginning to appear to be unstoppable.

We went back in to headbang to the other two bands and then we’d party, but I noticed Ethan had disappeared. It wasn’t until it was time to leave that we stopped in the back again to find him. He was surrounded by four young girls, and they seemed to be having a great time. I hoped that didn’t mean I wouldn’t.





Chapter Sixteen



WHEN WE GOT to the van—the band, me, and the other four girls—Brad said, “All you motherf*ckers in back. Val is riding shotgun with me. You guys work out the details amongst yourselves back there.”

I smiled and got in. Yes, in his own way, Brad was always a gentleman. When everyone was in, he said, “Buckle up.” Then he leaned over and whispered to me, “There aren’t enough seats for all of ‘em. This should be fun.”

But they managed. I looked back and could see that the two wide seats back there could each easily accommodate three people. But that meant they had one extra person. Just so happened that one of the two blonde twins sat on Ethan’s lap. Yeah. Thanks, Brad. Really f*cking funny.