Before I Saw You(96)



As he hurried through the foyer, sweat poured from every inch of him and his leg with the prosthesis was starting to ache. But he didn’t stop. Not even to apologize to the people he banged into as he unceremoniously pushed his way through the crowded reception and along the corridors. His phone continued to vibrate in his pocket, but there was no time to answer. He needed to see her. He needed to make sure she was OK.

‘Excuse me, sir, are you all right?’ a nurse called out after him.

‘Yes, sorry, just need to find my wife,’ he shouted back, not even bothering to turn his head to look at her. Then he saw it. The sign above the door at the end of the corridor. He’d made it. But what would he find on the other side?

Don’t think like that, Alfie.

That doesn’t help anyone.

He slowed to a brisk walk, desperately trying to catch his breath. Forcing mouthfuls of oxygen down his throat and into his lungs. He needed to at least look in control. He placed his hand gently on the double door and pushed.

‘Alfie!’ His mum ran over to him, pulling him into a fierce embrace. Squeezing all of the air out of him once again. ‘You made it! She’s in delivery suite three.’

Alfie’s body sagged in relief, and he barely had time to form any words before his mother started leading him towards a room at the far end of the ward.

‘Alice, honey.’ She placed her hand on the door and knocked tentatively. ‘Alfie’s here!’

‘About fucking time,’ a familiar voice cried out. ‘Alfie Mack, get in here NOW!’

‘That’s my Alice.’ He smiled anxiously at his mum and stepped inside.

The instant Alfie laid eyes on the tiny human being in Alice’s arms, his world shifted. It was as though every thought, worry or care before that very moment in time had been dissolved. Melted away and reduced to nothing. The only thing that mattered, the only thing he needed to think about, was that tiny bundle of life and the woman holding him.

‘Trust you to nearly miss the whole thing,’ Alice purred as she lay her head on Alfie’s shoulder.

He kissed her auburn hair, still a little damp with effort, and breathed in the smell of her. ‘Well, trust you to deliver our baby ahead of schedule! Always the overachiever, aren’t you, Alice?’ She nudged him hard in the ribs. ‘Ouch!’

‘You think that hurts? Try going through labour, and then you’ll know pain.’ She looked up at him and grinned.

‘Ah.’ He nestled himself closer to her warm, full body. ‘Can’t argue with that. Although it was worth it, right? For this little guy.’ Alfie leant over and placed a tiny kiss on his son’s forehead. ‘Hello there, little Euan. Do you know you’re named after some of the greatest men who ever lived?’ He cooed softly. ‘Euan Arthur Stephen Mack. You’re going to make them all so proud.’ He felt a wave of grief lap at his heart. ‘And you have your daddy’s beautiful eyes. God, you’re going to be a heartbreaker, aren’t you?’

‘Well, hopefully, you won’t have Daddy’s awful sense of humour,’ Alice whispered into the soft down of their son’s head.

‘Hey. It got me the girl in the end, didn’t it? As long as he doesn’t inherit your silver tongue, then I think we’ll be OK!’

Alice’s brown eyes widened gleefully. ‘Oh, shush. You wouldn’t have me any other way.’

Alfie looked at Alice cradling their tiny baby in her arms. His wife and his son. His entire world right there in front of him. Everything he’d lost had led him to everything he’d ever wanted. His heart grew so big in his chest that for a second, he forgot to breathe.

‘Alice Mack. I wouldn’t change this for the world.’





Acknowledgements


I fear this may end up being longer than most Oscar speeches, but it’s true what they say, this is not a work of one, it is a creation by many. And all of those many need special thanks!

Firstly, to my three rocks: Mum, Dad and Katie. So much of me is because of you and so much of me is on these pages, so thank you. And to Rod and Cathy – thank you for showing me the true meaning of family.

To the incredible team of people I have been lucky enough to work with – none of this could have happened without you! Special thanks go to Claire, Molly, Amelia, Victoria, Viv, Joal, Sara and all the teams at Transworld and Gallery. You have welcomed me in with open arms and it has been a dream come true to work with you.

To Jenny Bent in the US, Bastian Schlueck and Kathrin Nehm in Germany, and everyone else involved in my foreign sales – thank you for enabling Alice and Alfie’s story to be shared across the world.

I want to say a huge and heartfelt thank you to my UK editor Sally Williamson. Your calm patience and unwavering support throughout this journey have been incredible. You have given me the confidence and guidance to elevate my writing and this story to brand-new heights. What an honour it has been, and from the bottom of my heart – thank you for everything!

Also to Kate Dresser, thank you for taking on the story of Alice and Alfie with such care. Your thoughts and perspective were instrumental in this creation and it has been an absolute pleasure to work with you.

To Sarah Hornsley, a gift from the universe, a serendipitous crossing of paths, a blast from the past! Thank you for being the most incredible agent and organized human being I know. Your support and dedication are unrivalled – thank you for holding my hand as I navigated my way through this brand-new world. I am truly blessed to have you in my corner.

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