Before I Saw You(23)

‘I’m sorry, it’s just I—’

But before he could finish, Nurse Angles placed her hand gently on his cheek.

‘Thank you, my love, you did well,’ she whispered.

‘So you’re not about to kick me off the ward and banish me back to orthopaedics?’

‘No, not quite yet, baby.’ She laughed.

‘Phew. I think I’ve got a bit more work to do before I go.’

‘Yes, like getting yourself well enough to get out of here, OK?’ This time the finger was pointing at him, and with one raise of her eyebrow she disappeared off down the ward.

Spurred on by Nurse Angles’ delight, he waited less than ten minutes before grabbing one of the puzzle books next to his bed.

‘So, it’s that time again, ladies and gentlemen. I’m looking for a five-letter word for annoying.’

Mr Peterson didn’t even look up from his book.

‘Try A-L-F-I-E.’ The old man still hadn’t lifted his eyes from the page but he was now wearing a wry smile.

‘Agreed,’ came that faded Irish voice from next door.

‘Aha! She speaks again! Now, I want to get one thing straight: if this is going to become a regular thing, I don’t want it to just be an excuse to insult me, OK? I have feelings too.’

‘It’s not going to become any type of thing,’ she replied.

Tread carefully, Alfie.

‘OK, neighbour, noted.’ He reached for his TV remote and switched on This Morning.

‘Alfie, when are those gorgeous friends of yours coming to visit again?’ Sharon called out from her side of the ward.

Sometimes Alfie wondered if Sharon got more enjoyment from his visitors than he did.

‘Shit. I think they’re coming today. You’re in luck, Shaz.’

He’d been so caught up in his own head that time had simply flown past him.

He looked back up at the television screen and clocked the date immediately.

Of course they were coming today.

Today was the day Lucy left the country. The day the woman he’d loved for three years would disappear from his life altogether.





21


Alice





One of the benefits of never seeing anyone was that Alice’s hearing had been elevated to whole new levels of incredible. Even after a few days of isolation it felt almost superhuman at times. Not only could she identify the residents on the ward from just their footsteps, now she was even able to name visitors just from their hello.

She had to admit, having Alfie in the bed next to her had given her a lot of practice. Being one of the most popular residents on and off the ward meant he was rarely left alone. A stream of friends passed in and out regularly. There was a Matty, who was sometimes accompanied by a guy called Alex; a Ben, a Simon, a Johnny and a Jimmy. Alice found it hard to keep track of them all, especially as their conversations seemed to follow similar themes. Namely: football, nights out, rugby, football again, and moaning about their families.

Today was a little different.

Today there was a distinct lack of unnecessary banter being thrown about between them. Thinking about it, everything seemed a little too subdued – almost polite.

‘Hey, Alf. How you doing today?’ Caution – there was definitely a hint of caution in the guy Matty’s voice.

‘Yeah, I’m doing all right, same old same old with me. How about you? What’s been going on?’

‘Oh, nothing really. Just the usual, right, Alex?’

‘Yeah, yeah, nothing major. Same old same old with us too.’

Alice could picture the scene playing out just behind the curtain: the two men standing awkwardly around the bed, hands in their pockets, avoiding eye contact. Shoulders slumped, shifty looks between one another, and a slight rocking backwards and forwards in preparation to run at any minute.

‘Look, it’s fine, boys. Just tell me how last night was – I’m guessing you went?’

A small intake of breath.

Alice could feel their guilt seeping out from the cubicle.

‘Honestly, it’s fine. She was your friend first, I get it.’ Alfie’s voice was a little more forceful now. ‘Did she have a good send-off?’

‘Yeah, it was all right, she had a good time I think.’ Matty was the one to speak first.

‘Good, that’s all that matters.’

‘The thing is—’ Alex started.

‘You were missed, everyone said so.’ Matty cut him off.

‘Matty, don’t be a prick. Go on, Alex … the thing is—?’ The force in Alfie’s voice was making even Alice feel nervous about what was to follow.

‘Well, the thing is, Lucy was asking after you. Quite a lot actually.’ The more words he used, the braver he seemed to get. ‘She asked me to pass on a message to you. She asked me to tell you she was’ – the tiniest pause of self-doubt – ‘she was sorry.’

The way he delivered this last sentence was as though he was relieving himself of a great weight. The awkwardness was palpable.

‘She said what?’ Alfie’s voice grew even louder. Alice couldn’t help but wince for his friends on the receiving end of his sudden anger.

‘She said … she was sorry,’ Alex stated again.