Atonement(32)

What could possibly be wrong with the situation? Other than I cared for his brother way too much and what if we did become involved? Did I have to tell Colin what had happened between Liam and I? Would he want to know his brother knew every inch of my body intimately? Should I have to disclose anything at all? If the situation were reversed and Colin had slept with Caitlyn before we decided to involve ourselves in a relationship, would I expect him to tell me about it? Furthermore, would I really want to know?

The answers to these questions came quite easily as it was definitely no. I didn’t want to know about any other women he’d been with although I knew he had a history. No one made it to their late twenties and early thirties without developing a history of love and loss, heartache, pain and rejection. It was a part of life as sure as death and if one wanted to play naïve, that was fine but I liked to walk through life with my eyes wide open.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep myself from settling within Liam’s warm embrace and it was so easy to let myself go and fall asleep in his arms. His body was complete and utter magic. His skin felt warm and satisfying against my own and I loved being there next to him. More than anything, I felt safe even if I knew he wasn’t the man for me.





Part Two



The World Is Not Enough





Chapter Nine





THE NEXT TWO days flew by and before I could really process the time, Colin and I waited side-by-side at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport for our flight via Air France. It was non-stop, from Seattle to Charles De Gaulle, and I was extremely excited to finally start our trip and get it under way.

Liam had been right of course. He dropped me off that following morning after our tryst and during small talk with Colin, made up a story about the mojitos making me violently ill. According to him, I’d spent the evening glued to a toilet bowl while he held my hair and nursed me through one of the worst episodes he’d ever seen.

There must have been something in the drink I was allergic to and by all means, keep me away from mojitos when we arrived in Europe.

I had to hand it to him: the story was brilliant and his expert ability at lying to others was scary good. However, I really liked mojitos and now that I couldn’t drink them, this kind of pissed me off.

We sat side-by-side at the bar and enjoyed pints of Guinness. Our flight wouldn’t be leaving for another two hours so we had decided the best place to chill would be a nice quiet restaurant where we could drink and talk.

Colin brought our second pints of Guinness and I stared at him before I smiled. “I’m cutting you off, mister. There is nothing worse than flying while you are drunk!” I exclaimed.

We both laughed out loud. “When’s the last time you’ve been across the pond? To be honest, I wouldn’t prefer it any other way. I absolutely love getting smashed before I board a flight. I don’t make it that obvious, of course, but the point is, I sleep most of the way and that, my dear, is a joy.”

“Do you honestly want to sleep the whole time we are in first class? I thought it was supposed to be absolute luxury,” I replied in an excited tone of voice.

I couldn’t dare hide the fact I was a bit tipsy now. Guinness was quite strong and I hadn’t eaten much throughout the day. I still felt guilty about my tryst with Liam and although I had so much fun with Colin, part of me felt like a skank. How could I have slept with his brother so casually yet look at this man as a potential mate? Something was definitely unhinged in my brain.

“What’s the matter? Usually you’re so playful but you seem to be a bit down. Is there anything I can do to help?”

There was my chance. I could confess and perhaps he would spend half the trip mad at me, but at least it would be out in the open. However, no matter how much I wanted to make my lips move to speak, they wouldn’t budge.

I took the coward’s way out and shook my head. “I’m fine, seriously.” I clapped my hands together in girlish glee. “How long do we have in Paris before we leave for Nice?”

“Two days. Not including the day we arrive. I figured you would want to explore some sights, perhaps shop a bit and of course, see the Eiffel Tower or Montmartre…anywhere tacky and touristy. Then, we board a train on the fourth day first thing in the morning for Nice. I thought it would be cool to take the train down. Great scenery and it’s just a beautiful way to travel Europe,” he explained passionately.

I stared at him and tried to give him my best serious look. “How many trips have you made to Europe?”