A Life More Complete(26)
“Trini, you okay?” I hear her stifle as sob as I open the door. She’s curled in a ball on the floor still wearing the white mini dress. Her heavy eye makeup running down her face in thin black rivers as her body shakes and heaves with sobs. I slide down on the floor next to her pulling her into my arms.
“Shh,” I whisper into her hair remembering all too late that the sound that is supposed to soothe, always made me sob harder in the past. Trini has the same response. Her body is racked with chest heaving cries. “You don’t have to do the interview. I can cancel it.”
“No, I...I...I’ll do it.”
I wet a washcloth and wipe her heavily made up face until it is fresh and clear. She finally materializes from the bathroom looking fifteen years old as opposed to her almost nineteen years. Her hair parted to the side and swept into a low ponytail, minimal makeup and simply dressed in the shift dress and age appropriate espadrille wedges. She knows the drill and she does it unwaveringly well. She’s composed and a smile moves across her face that if you didn’t know her you’d believe it to be an honest display of happiness.
People move around us not speaking as they ready the set for the interview. The woman set to interview Trini sits across from us, her makeup being touched up, her hair a perfect halo of blonde, all the while never making eye contact with us. Trini’s lawyer arrives a few minutes later. I think his name is Jacob, but I can’t be sure. He won’t last long. Still the same weasely young kid, his suit too big, his eyes wide with unease. The interview begins and I can see Trini inhale deeply to ready herself. The image reflected back at us is exactly what I hoped for. She looks like the kid America fell in love with, innocent and sweet. I can only hope that it’s enough to curb the negative image that she has left in everyone’s mind.
“So, Trini, can you take me through what happened early this morning?” the interviewer asks, her lips pressed together firmly, waiting.
Trini glances briefly at me and then her lawyer, “I’ve had a rough couple of months. Sometimes it’s hard to cope. Being in the public eye for so long and the lack of privacy that goes along with it can be overbearing. I turned to methods that were probably not the best.” As I listen to her speak, I can’t believe how professional and composed she sounds. “I have decided that after the events that occurred I need some time to regroup and reorganize my personal and my professional life.”
The interview is going well and Trini continues to respond appropriately. I begin to relax taking a few deep breaths as I unclench my fists.
“Do you feel like this could possibly ruin your career?”
“No, absolutely not. It was a mistake and I fully intend to repair any damage I may have caused. And in turn, never once has my personal life affected my career. I have always remained professional. Anyone who has ever worked with me can vouch for that.”
“You’re a role model for young girls all over the country, how do you think their families feel about your most recent actions?”
My breathing begins to quicken and I can see the anger building in Trini’s eyes as she composes herself to answer the next question.
“Well, Rita, is it? I guess I didn’t catch your name.” Oh God, she’s turning snotty and now there’s no going back. My fingers find their rhythm and tap as she speaks. “I never went into this career to be a role model. Parents are role models; teachers and coaches are role models. People who make a difference in someone’s life are role models. I’m paid a ridiculous amount of money to entertain people. My job has no value other than for entertainment purposes and for you to accuse me of not being a positive role model, well I think you need to review your definition of a role model.” Trini slouches in her chair and exhales hard. I can see she hasn’t even begun and everything in me says call the interview but I don’t.
“Oh really, Ms. Walters? I’m sure there are plenty of people who would disagree with your statement. There are girls who have your poster on their bedroom walls, watch your television show, buy your music, yet you feel you have no impact on them whatsoever?”
“That’s not what I said. I just stated that I never intended to be someone’s role model and if parents are doing their job they wouldn’t allow their children to view me as role model.”
“Are you saying that your behavior is directly related to you not wanting to be seen as role model?”
Fire is beginning to burn in Trini’s eyes. It’s becoming a train wreck and I can’t stop it or look away. She leans forward in her chair and stares down the interviewer. She pauses momentarily, “Well, Rita, if you must know, I’m a f*cked up mess and the last thing I want is anyone to look up to me. If the public only knew the half of it,” she says shaking her head. “I wouldn’t be sitting here with you right now if I hadn’t gotten knocked up and...” Boom! There’s my cue. I should’ve pulled the plug a long time ago and I know I’ll hear it from Ellie. I clamp my hand down on Trini’s wrist hard and she turns and narrows her eyes at me.