A Life More Complete(23)
“I can’t even imagine that. You are so, I don’t know, assertive?” she says questioning her words.
“That’s not really me. My job has made me that way. In my private life I’m much more reserved.”
“And I guess my job has hardened me.” She shudders a little and her mouth turns down. I watch her face fall and know that this business has ruined her, possibly beyond repair.
“You’re still young. You have time to find yourself, find a good guy, be happy. You know, the basics.” I smile at her, but the look on her face tells me she knows it’s my fake one. I can’t hide from her anymore.
“You’re full of shit. There is no way you can pull your publicist crap on me anymore, not after I saw what you’re really like. You can bet your ass I’m gonna call you on it, too.”
“At least you know, now. We can fake it together.”
After a delay in Chicago, which pushed our arrival back several hours, we finally arrive back in L.A.. The delay makes me anxious. It puts more time in between being able to see Ben. It has taken me far too long to realize he is exactly what I’ve wanted and as the minutes pass I don’t want to wait for what is to come. My legs bounce on their own accord; I chew my bottom lip nervously and pick my cuticles till they bleed. I finally pull into my driveway and kiss Trini good-bye without ever leaving the car.
“Where are you going?” she asks, puzzled.
“Ben’s.” I smile backing out before she’s even in her car. She smiles and shakes her head. She cups her hands around her mouth and yells, “Behave yourself!” I wave to her out the window and she blows me a kiss.
Ben’s house is still lit up when I pull into the driveway. I check the door and it’s locked, so I silently push my key in and unlock the door, letting myself in.
“Ben?” I call quietly. He rounds the corner a few seconds later. Standing in the doorway to the kitchen wearing boxer briefs. He looks tired and runs his hand through his hair. When his eyes finally meet mine his mouth falls open in surprise and I run to him. I jump into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. I can’t stop kissing him, my lips press firmly against his, my tongue moving with ease in his mouth. I run my hands through his hair and down his chest and back up again. He sets me on the table and I part my legs to allow him closer to me. He attempts to pull away, but I tighten my grip on him and continue assaulting him with my mouth and hands. When the urgency finally subsides, my kisses turn slower and softer. He presses his forehead to mine, his hands on either side of my face, his eyes closed as he breathes heavily.
“I’m glad to see you, too,” he whispers.
My heartbeat quickens and my stomach flutters. I can’t hold back any longer and the words slowly roll off my tongue, “I love you.”
“What?” he nearly gasps. He steps back slightly and a smile builds as the shock of it all fades away.
“You heard me.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.” I smile and pull him to me, kissing his neck.
“God damn! Took you long enough!”
“Six years. Why’d you wait on me?”
“Krissy, I knew the moment I met you that I loved you. I’m drawn to you like never before. My dad told me once that I’d know, but I thought he was full of shit. He was so right.”
“I’m sorry I made you wait.” I breathe out.
“It was worth every second,” he mutters as he leans down to kiss me. His lips linger softly against mine before pulling away. I tilt my head back exposing my neck to him and he follows my cue. I stop breathing as the tip of his tongue traces my jaw and his lips glide down my neck. I breathe in hard; my fingers ache to touch him as I pull him in closer. “Not here,” he whispers in my ear and a shiver of pleasure fills my body. He lifts me from the table, his hands gripping me tightly and I need this more than anything. When his body covers mine, my need only grows. Ben’s hands follow the curves of my body and with every touch his fingers leave my skin aching for more. When he’s finally inside me, my body is so sensitive, so acutely aware of his every movement that it takes only seconds for me to lose myself in him. All the insecurities that plague my life fall away and I can’t remember ever feeling this free, this safe…this loved.
The months slip by and Ben and I fall into an easy rhythm. Ben cooking me dinner on the nights I work late and us eating together, laughing and sharing stories. He runs with me every morning and brings me chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches in the evening. I’d buy Ben’s favorite foods when I grocery shopped and I learned to make chicken tacos from his grandma’s recipe. We’d play Wii for hours until Ben’s competitive streak would show forcing us to quit before it turned ugly. We’d bust out my college pawnshop purchase of the original Nintendo and he would laugh at my ridiculous ability to kill him in Dr. Mario and Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. He was not only my boyfriend, but he’d become my best friend. It was perfect and on the nights that we spent apart I had trouble sleeping, only finding comfort on his side of the bed. The smell of his body lingered on my sheets making it the only way I could sleep. I found such contentment in the simplicity of our relationship.