The Perfect Child(49)
TWENTY-NINE
HANNAH BAUER
Allison stopped by with more bags of hand-me-down clothes. She’d gone through all Dylan and Caleb’s baby clothes and pulled out anything that was gender neutral because we didn’t want to know what we were having. My family was thrilled about my pregnancy, which made up for Christopher’s lack of enthusiasm. They doted on me constantly.
“I’m so excited for you to be a mom,” Allison said. She quickly slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to say that.” Her eyes darted around the room to see if Janie had heard, but she was too busy playing Uno with the boys to notice. “You’re already a mom. I just meant . . . I just—”
I interrupted her. “It’s fine. I know what you meant, and honestly, I feel the same way.”
She looked relieved. “I know this adoption has been difficult for you, and I hope you know I’ve always supported your decision, but it’s always made me sad that you never got to carry a baby. I’m so glad you finally get the opportunity. No woman should have to miss it. It’s so magical,” she said.
I giggled. “It is, and I’m loving everything about this because I never thought I’d get to have the experience. I don’t even care that I’m gaining weight.”
My breasts had already grown two sizes, but when you went from barely there to something to put in a bra, the only one who noticed was your husband. I couldn’t wait until my stomach swelled with a pregnancy bump.
“Are you nervous about tonight?” she asked.
Tonight was the night we were going to tell Janie about the pregnancy. I still thought we should wait until we were further along, but as soon as we’d hit the four-month mark and the odds of miscarriage had dropped significantly, Christopher had been ready to break the news to her.
“I’m not worried about Janie because I don’t think she’s even going to notice or care. It’s too abstract for her until she actually has something to see. I’m worried because I think Christopher will be disappointed with her lack of reaction,” I said. “Are you sure you guys can’t stay for dinner?”
“As much as I’d love to, we’re going to see some movie I’ve never heard of, but Greg says everybody loves it.”
“You could’ve just left the boys with us.” She hadn’t left the boys with us one time since Janie, and I felt bad about it. “I wish you would’ve.”
“Oh, we’re taking them with us. Didn’t I tell you? We’re letting them see a movie at the same time. Same theater. Different movies. It’s happening.” She pointed toward the back door, where their squeals and laughter let us know they were still having fun. “Hold on to that one tightly. It won’t be long until you guys aren’t cool enough to hang out with.”
Later that evening, Christopher walked into the dining room carrying a cake. I eyed him curiously. The cake hadn’t been part of our plan. He grinned and set it down in front of Janie. There was a giant blue stork carrying a wrapped-up baby in its beak etched in frosting on top.
“Daddy, I like the birdie,” she squealed.
“Do you see what the bird is carrying?” he asked.
Janie nodded enthusiastically, always eager to give the right answer. “A baby!”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. I held the shirt behind my back, waiting for my cue.
“That’s right. We have something really exciting to tell you about a baby.” He squeezed my side.
I pulled out the T-shirt from behind my back and held it out in front of me. The neon-purple letters proclaimed, I AM A BIG SISTER.
“Janie, this is your special T-shirt—”
She grabbed it from me before I could read her what it said. “It’s pretty.” She started pulling off the shirt she had on.
Christopher laid his hand on her shoulder. “Slow down for a second, kiddo.”
“There’s a special message on your shirt just for you,” I said.
“Really?” She flipped it over and stared at the letters. “What’s it say?”
“It says, ‘I am a big sister,’” I said.
She looked from me to Christopher and back again, totally lost.
We knelt in front of her. Christopher pointed to my stomach. “Your mommy is growing a baby in her stomach. Once the baby is big enough, it’s going to come out of her stomach and become part of our family. That means you’re going to be a big sister.”
Janie poked my stomach. “There’s a baby in here?”
I nodded. “Soon you’ll be able to feel it move around inside me. It will kick and do all kinds of other things. It’ll be so much fun.”
She looked up at me. “How does it come out of here?” She poked me again, harder this time.
“Gentle when you touch my stomach, honey,” I said, placing my hand on top of hers. “Sometimes the doctors have to take the baby out of mommies’ stomachs, and other times, the baby comes out of a mommy’s vagina.”
She crinkled her nose. “Yuck. That’s gross.”
Christopher and I laughed.
“Can we go outside?” she asked. She pulled her arms back into the shirt she’d been wearing previously, the big-sister shirt forgotten.