The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose(15)
MINDY: Stand in the “I.”
GOLDIE HAWN
At eleven years old I made a very definitive decision. And my decision was that I wanted to be happy. Above and beyond anything I ever did in my life, I wanted to be happy. But I remember these grown-ups coming to me and saying, “Do you want to be a movie star when you grow up? Do you want to be a dancer? Do you want to be a professional dancer when you grow up? What do you want to be?” And I would say, “Happy.” And they would look at me really weird. “No. We said what do you want to be?” And I said, “I want to be happy.” That’s really all I wanted. Talk about an intention. That’s a better intention than a white picket fence.
CHAPTER SIX
THE ROAD
Find your lane. Make space for the flow to show itself. Follow the natural rhythm of your life, and you will discover a force far greater than your own.
—Oprah
If there is anyone who has fearlessly lived the highest, truest expression of herself, it is the feminist icon Gloria Steinem.
Without the brazen conviction of Gloria and those who stood shoulder to shoulder with her in the fight for gender equality, I know the opportunities available to all of us women would not exist. Gloria is, without a doubt, a mighty force.
The last time the two of us spoke, she offered her sage perspective on how she has moved through life with such razor-sharp clarity. Gloria told me she lives in what she calls a constant “on the road” state of mind. This way of thinking, she says, reminds her to stay open to learning, because travel “brings people out of their heads and into their hearts” and offers the promise of expanding the truth. Spiritually, the “on the road” philosophy keeps Gloria in the moment, feeling “boundaryless, spontaneous, and at one with everything.”
She compared her approach to a bird in flight, riding on a current, perpetually focused on forward motion, at all times checking the direction of the wind, yet open to all possibilities.
“Birds find their flow,” she told me, “like surfers catch their wave.”
Gloria changed the course of history by staying present and moving with the cadence of the moment.
For me, that “on the road” philosophy is the definition of the word flow. It means first identifying and then trusting your own current, one that is in complete alignment with your life.
You might have heard athletes, artists, or musicians describe flow as being in the zone. They use phrases such as tunnel vision, complete calm, or ultra-focus. Some liken it to a spiritual experience—a state of consciousness in which time feels like it has slowed down or completely fallen away.
Most of us have been in the zone at some point in our own lives. It’s that exhilarating stretch where everything seems to fall into place. The road ahead is clear, open, and smooth.
So then, what causes us to get off track or feel like we’re suddenly hitting every bump along the way?
Basketball legend LeBron James is considered one of the most intensely focused competitors ever to play the game. I once asked LeBron what could possibly cause an MVP like him to lose his rhythm on the court. His response: “I get off my game when I start playing for others rather than playing for myself.”
Yes! This is a universal truth. We fall off course the minute our intention shifts from following our heart to responding to what we think others believe. All of a sudden, life feels complicated.
That’s because you’ve altered your efforts in the hope of impressing someone else. The goal is to get back to living for yourself, to get back to your flow. And that is not a selfish thing. It’s an honorable thing.
Like Gloria Steinem, you too have the power to seek the highest, truest expression of yourself. The critical word is true. Not just speaking the truth. Being your truth. How can you embody the most authentic version of you?
The lessons in this chapter are geared toward how, after setting your course, you allow life to carry you. I have learned that creating your own purpose-filled momentum is possible only when you give yourself the space, moment to moment, to focus on the next right choice.
And despite the inevitable distractions, when you find that sweet spot, living your truth takes on a breathtaking level of intensity.
That is the brilliance of flow.
—Oprah
DEEPAK CHOPRA
Everybody’s looking for the future. They’re never in the present. So when they arrive at the future, it’s not there for them because they’re not present for it. If you get the idea that this is the moment that you have, it is the only moment that you have, then you live in the present, and you move with the flow, because this is the point of arrival. Right now.
BARBARA BROWN TAYLOR
I think we’d like life to be a train. You get on, pick your destination, and get off when you reach it. But life actually turns out to be a sailboat instead. Every day you have to see where the wind is and check the currents and see if there’s anybody else on the boat with you who can help out. The weather changes. The currents change and so does the wind. It’s not a train ride, in other words. It’s not all about the destination and focusing on not being there yet—though you will be one day, when the train finally pulls into the station.
I have no argument with greatness. But if arriving at my great destination becomes an excuse for dismissing my life now because I haven’t found that great purpose yet, that’s a waste of a day, if not a life.