The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose(17)
’Cause you are my goal.
And he was right. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” now holds a place in the Grammy Hall of Fame.
I have always thought a mountain is a magnificent metaphor for life. From a distance, the ascent looks clear and smooth, but once you actually set out for the summit, you discover unexpected valleys and precarious ridges along the way. If your internal compass isn’t set to keep climbing, every stumble will give you an excuse to turn back.
Over the years, there have absolutely been times when I’ve found myself climbing a steep, rocky road. Earlier, I shared the fears I struggled with when I was invited to give the commencement address at Harvard in 2013. I know my trepidation might seem surprising given the general perception of my career—after twenty-five years on a number one show, I had by most standards reached the summit. However, it just so happened that when Harvard’s then president, Drew Faust, called with her once-in-a-lifetime offer, I was in the midst of one of the biggest climbs of my life. I’d even started calling this new endeavor “my Kilimanjaro.” And in this particular instance, it seemed, the higher I hiked, the trickier the terrain.
At the time, I said I was “getting my butt kicked” in the news over the way OWN—the Oprah Winfrey Network—was “struggling,” as they reported it. It felt like everywhere I looked, critics were taking me to task for OWN’s performance. One of the toughest headlines announced, “Oprah Winfrey Isn’t Quite Holding Her OWN.” That one stung. I had enjoyed a long stretch at the top and was proud to be known as a powerful businesswoman. Now it felt like every decision I made ended up on the nightly news crawl. And so when Harvard reached out, all I could think was, What can I teach about success when I’ve stopped succeeding? It was a frustrating time. And to be frank, I was embarrassed.
At one point, I was deliberating what to do while in the shower. It’s not a myth that some people make their best decisions in the shower—there really is something about the warm spray and lack of distraction that helps crystallize your thoughts. And indeed, as the water cascaded down and I thought about that mountain metaphor, I decided I would immediately stop calling the experience of building my own network anything but a privilege. I mean, really, I told myself, who gets to do this? It is the honor of a lifetime. If you think about it, people all over the world dream of climbing Kilimanjaro.
The words to an old hymn started playing in my head: Trouble don’t last always. I got out of the shower and thought, This too shall pass, and I will be the better for it.
One of my favorite lessons from Joel Osteen is, “What follows ‘I am’ is what we’re inviting into our life.” Meaning when you use phrases like,“I am exhausted,” or, “I am overwhelmed,” you are inviting exactly that kind of energy into your life. The moment I shifted my perspective from I am struggling to I am honored, my climb was transformed from an arduous trek into a still challenging but now stimulating adventure, and my entire outlook changed. Ever since that time, whenever I’ve encountered a disruption, rather than allowing it to rattle me, I ask myself one of the most meaningful and productive questions there is: What is this here to teach me?
Today, OWN continues to evolve. Every day brings a new teachable moment. And I look back on each step of the journey with gratitude.
The insights I hope you will embrace in this chapter reflect the knowledge I try to impart to my girls in South Africa as they consider any worthwhile pursuit: “There will always be setbacks. What you are experiencing is a detour. It’s not the end of the road. You’ve got to be prepared to fail up.”
Most important, I teach the girls that everything that is happening to them is a means to help them evolve into who they are meant to become. Nothing is ever out of order.
So when their will is being tested and all seems lost, I advise them to stop, get still, and listen. Their heart will tell them the next right step. And once they figure it out, it’s time to look around and ask themselves, Who is standing with me in the gap? Because what I discovered long ago is that when life is treating you well and it seems you can’t go wrong, there will always be people who want to ride with you in the limo. But what you really want are the people who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
As you make your way up your mountains, no matter how steep the climb, remember the words of Nick Ashford:
If you need me call me no matter
where you are
No matter how far don’t worry baby
Just call my name I’ll be there in
a hurry
You don’t have to worry
’Cause baby there ain’t no mountain
high enough
Your Kilimanjaro awaits.
—Oprah
ECKHART TOLLE
ECKHART TOLLE: Being challenged is a good thing. Let’s look at the nature of challenges. First of all, if you look at your own life, you may find that what look like obstacles to where you want to go, where you want to be, what you want to achieve, seem to arise almost continuously in the form of difficult people or difficult situations. Some people resent being challenged by life. They think challenges should not exist. But if you have lived for long enough, at some point you realize that the world isn’t here to make you happy. It can’t do that.
OPRAH: It’s like what you say about human evolution: It’s not linear. Rather, it’s take two steps forward in your life and one step back. And the farther back you go, the more of a bounce you have to move forward. Right?