The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose(21)

LYNNE TWIST


LYNNE TWIST: When you let go of trying to get more of what you don’t really need, it frees up oceans of energy that was caught up in that chase to now turn and pay attention to what you already have. When you actually pay attention to, nourish, love, and share what you already have, it expands. It’s the opposite of what we think. And when people know that, it frees them from this chase of more, more, more, more, more. A shorter way to say all that is, What you appreciate, appreciates.

OPRAH: That is such a fantastic tweetable lesson. It’s universal law, actually. What you focus on expands. What you appreciate, appreciates.

LYNNE: Exactly. And the way we have that kind of experience is by sharing. By contributing. By serving. By nourishing other people. That’s where real prosperity lives.





President JIMMY CARTER


Rosalynn and I spend a full week every year in some remote place building Habitat for Humanity houses. And one of the things I’ve learned is that when we work side by side with a family that’s never had a decent home in their lives, we begin to comprehend quite clearly and vividly that their moral values are just as good as mine. And their ambitions are just as great as mine. We realize that just because somebody’s poverty-stricken and deprived of what we look upon as successes in life—they’re not inferior. That’s a major lesson I’ve learned in my adult life, and particularly since I left the White House: that people are not inferior.





MINDY KALING


As a woman who’s an employee, often you are the only woman. And you think, There’s not enough space for me, or, There’s only going to be one Indian woman, there’s only going to be one minority. I hope I’m it. I can’t help anybody else. Those are the terrible habits you learn when you’re younger. But as an employer, you’re like, If I can stop that anxiety for young women, and tell them there isn’t going to be only one Indian woman, one African American woman, one woman period in here, there’s going to be space for lots, so you don’t have to have that anxiety anymore. That’s one way I try to help.





CHAPTER NINE


THE REWARD


Wealth is a tool that gives you choices, but it can’t compensate for a life not fully lived.

—Oprah




My father, Vernon Winfrey, graduated from Hasla Barber College in 1963.

After working a year and a half as an apprentice, he opened his own barber shop in Nashville, where he’s been a local fixture for the past fifty-three years. Before entering the barber college, he served in the army and held several other jobs, including as a janitor at Vanderbilt University. Both my mother, Vernita, and grandmother, Hattie Mae, were housekeepers.

I was raised knowing the value of a hard day’s work. And from an early age, I have always known I was responsible for myself. Where I came from, there was no backup plan or safety net. For better or worse, you made your own way.

My first job was at fifteen, as a babysitter making fifty cents an hour. The children were a handful, and the lady of the house always made sure to leave a big pile of clothes in her bedroom for me to clean up. Like clockwork, just before she left, she would turn to me and ask if I would mind “tidying things up.” When she came home—and neglected to give me anything extra for cleaning—I understood very well that this woman didn’t value my efforts. But I did. I valued my work and myself, and I decided that no matter how much or how little money I made, I would never let that define my worth. That babysitting job taught me my first valuable lesson about money: I am not my salary.

I gave up babysitting and moved on to stocking shelves in a local store for $1.50 an hour. The pay was better, but I was not allowed to speak to the customers. As I mentioned in chapter 4, I was known as the “talking child,” so this was clearly not a good fit. I knew having a job where I had to stay silent was no way to earn a paycheck. It felt like a betrayal of myself. And even at fifteen, I was not willing to do that. The experience turned out to be another life lesson: Sometimes knowing what you don’t want is as valuable as knowing what you do.

Eventually I moved on to work for my father, in a corner grocery store connected to his barbershop. I worked behind the counter selling penny candy. He didn’t pay me, but I was allowed to talk. You could even say that the camaraderie in the barbershop and store explains why, years later, it felt so natural to be among the Oprah Show audience, listening to stories.

I was still in high school when I was offered a job as a newsreader at the local radio station. They paid me $100 a week. That was a lot of money for a seventeen-year-old, but I would have done it for free. It felt like the perfect fit. Lesson number three: Know the joy of doing what you love and never stop pursuing it.

All these years later, I am still keenly aware that I am not my salary. I give thanks every day for having the opportunity not only to make a living but to create what I see as an exquisite life. And I know that everyone needs a source of income in order to survive. But I have come to believe that one of the reasons I’ve enjoyed financial success is because my focus has never been on money.

As you experience the words of wisdom on the following pages, my hope is that you will begin to develop a new measure for true success. For me, the great reward is the feeling of lasting contentment and self-respect that comes when you are living out the truth of who you are.