The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose(19)
TRACEY JACKSON
OPRAH: Many times when you try to change, there’s a whole circle of people who actually liked you better the old way. And a lot of people are torn between that life and the life that’s calling for them.
TRACEY JACKSON: You develop languages with people and you develop patterns of behavior. For instance: I’m the dysfunctional one; you’re the functional one. I’m the one in control. You’re the one who’s a little bit crazy. I’m always depressed. Whatever it may be. But when you change that, all of a sudden their role in your life is put into question. And they start having to question their own behavior.
TRACY MCMILLAN
The lesson that took me the longest to learn is that I have to practice hard-core compassion for myself. Because I used to be very hard on myself. I thought I was supposed to know things before it was possible to know them. And the truth is that everything we’re doing, that’s our life’s work. My life’s work is to learn how to love better. My life’s work is to learn how to put light in places where it’s dark.
CINDY CRAWFORD
The idea of getting older is daunting and intimidating and not that fun, really. But recently I shifted to I have the privilege of getting older, and I really like that because it’s easy to spin off into the negative, as opposed to Aren’t we lucky? That we’re here, that we get to get older. I think it’s a lot easier to see yourself getting older if you’re happy in your life or if you’re doing meaningful work, and you are contributing to life in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.
JON BON JOVI
Anytime you think you’ve hit the top of the mountain, the truth is, you’ve just reached another mountain, and it’s there to climb over again. Each step along the way is just a life lesson in humility. And it gives you the ammunition to go on and be excited about the next day.
JOEL OSTEEN
What follows “I am” is what we’re inviting into our life. You say “I am tired.” “I am frustrated.” “I am lonely.” Well, now you’ve invited more of that in. So the principle is to turn it around and invite what you want into your life. There’s a balance to it. I don’t think you’re denying the facts. You’re just not magnifying the negative. Rather, start saying, “I am a masterpiece. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am strong. I am talented.” I think that is speaking to the core of what God’s put in each one of us. He has equipped us. He’s empowered us. We have what we need to fulfill our destiny. But we have to bring it out. And you can’t bring it out being against yourself.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE GIVE
My life’s goal is to be of service to a greater good. Wherever that true calling takes me, I’ve always been willing to go.
—Oprah
My spiritual queen mother, the great Maya Angelou, was for me the ultimate teacher.
Only Maya had the ability to reduce me to my seven-year-old self simply by the way she greeted me.
“Hello, you darling girl,” she would say at the start of every conversation. Her e-mails always set a loving tone, opening with, Oh Dearie O.
I’ll never forget the first time she shared with me what would later become a much beloved refrain: People may not remember what you did or what you said, but they always remember how you made them feel.
What her words so brilliantly remind us is that every single moment is an opportunity to be of service to another human being. That is what I hope will be your takeaway from this chapter. I’m not referring just to volunteering or contributing to a cause, though those are wonderful, worthwhile activities that strengthen us. What I am talking about is committing, decision by decision, to a sustained, heartfelt, compassionate approach to life.
We are more alike than we are different, Maya used to say.
Imagine what would happen if two people with opposing views came together to inform each other from a position of wanting to be of service. If you’re caught in the deluge of negativity and vitriol we’re bombarded with on a daily basis, this would seem a nearly impossible idea. But I believe we’re closer to reconnecting than we realize.
When I accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the 2018 Golden Globes, my speech caused a bit of a stir. It was not my intention to spark talk of a presidential campaign, but I can tell you why I believe that speech resonated with so many people. In my conversations with men and women from many walks of life, I have felt a growing shift, a mutual yearning on all sides for a different way of envisioning the world. There is an eagerness rising within all of us to bridge our divides, to bring an end to vicious attacks on those whose viewpoints differ from ours, and to focus on elevating humanity. What I was trying to express in my speech was that all humans have value and a voice. And I consider it my purpose here on earth to celebrate and validate both.
The sheer volume of reaction to what I said at the Golden Globes is a direct testament to the fact that millions of us are ready to seek out and stand up for what’s good, right, and just in our world.
Maya once told me that my legacy will be every person whose life was touched by my being here. I believe the same is true for all of us. When it comes down to it, life can be measured in exchanges of energy. Positive or negative: What is the energy you choose to bring to the world? Positive exchanges multiply and grow. That’s why giving on any level feels so great. You are creating an actual force for good.