The First Mistake(78)

‘I’ll be back in one minute,’ she says to no one in particular. She runs down the stairs, back to her car, and knocks on Sophia’s window, making her daughter jump.

‘Roll the window down,’ mouths Alice impatiently, as she watches her daughter roll her eyes.

‘What?’ says Sophia gruffly.

Alice doesn’t have time to deal with her daughter’s bad mood, caused, no doubt, by something she’s seen on social media.

‘Can you get that Chatsnap thing of yours up?’ she asks her.

‘Yeah, why?’ asks Sophia, her tone loaded with suspicion.

‘Because I could really do with finding Nathan,’ says Alice, stopping herself short from saying anything more. Sometimes the more words you use, the more mistrust you create.

Sophia looks at her through narrowed eyes. ‘What for?’

‘Can you do it or not?’ asks Alice impatiently.

‘Jeez, chill your beans,’ says Sophia as she swipes her thumb and moves her fingers at lightning speed.

‘Watch who you’re talking to,’ warns Alice. ‘I’m not one of your mates.’

‘It looks like he’s somewhere on Park Lane in London,’ she says hesitantly. ‘The Hilton.’

Alice wants to ask if he’s in bed with someone. After all, this app seems to be able to show a myriad of other activities. ‘Thank you,’ is all she says. ‘I’ll see if I can reach him there.’

‘Mum, is everything okay?’ Sophia asks, with more than a hint of worry in her tone.

Alice forces a smile. ‘Of course, why wouldn’t it be?’

‘Do you promise?’ asks Sophia, her sassy attitude suddenly replaced by the vulnerability of someone half her age.

It takes all of Alice’s resolve not to pull her daughter to her and hold her tight. Instead she crosses her fingers behind her back and hopes her smile reaches her eyes.

‘Yes darling, I promise.’





38


‘Just tell me the truth,’ Alice demands loudly after dinner has been cleared away, her patience spent.

‘I promise, Mummy, I haven’t done anything,’ cries Olivia.

‘So why are another little girl and her parents saying that you did? You cannot go around hurting people Olivia, with words or actions. I will not stand for it.’

‘But I’m not, Mummy! Phoebe is mean to me.’

‘We’re not talking about Phoebe,’ says Alice. ‘We’re talking about another girl who thinks you’re being mean to her. Honestly, Olivia, I will not be called in by the school to be told that you’re a bully.’

‘I’m not a bully,’ she screams, before running up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door.

‘Right, that’s it young lady. You stay in there until the morning and by then you’d better be ready to tell me the truth.’

Alice feels riddled with guilt as she takes Olivia a glass of water half an hour later, only to find her daughter fast asleep yet still fully dressed. Tiny whimpers emanate from her chest as Alice changes her into her pyjamas.

This is not the kind of mother I am, Alice tells herself as she sits on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. She’d do anything to crawl under the duvet and shut everything out – wait for the storm that she knows is brewing to pass. But she has to be stronger than that. She will not be defined by her weaknesses again.

Her phone pierces the uncharacteristic quiet in the house and she wearily reaches across the bed for her handbag. Maybe she will lie down, for just a few minutes.

‘Hi darling, it’s me,’ says Nathan when she picks up. She can already tell from those four words that he’s had a drink. ‘You’re not going to believe it, but I’ve bumped into Josh, an old pal of mine,’ he slurs. ‘You remember him, don’t you? I introduced you to him once.’

Alice couldn’t ever recall meeting Josh. She’d remember if she had because the people Nathan had introduced her to over the years were few and far between. He’d said that losing his parents when he was young had made it difficult for him to form friendships. Certainly the ones he had now were all part of their wider circle of couples, even his golf buddies were husbands of friends Alice had acquainted him with.

There had been many a time when she’d wished Nathan had more of a backstory. That he’d brought an extended family into her life, as Lord knows her own was small enough. It would have been nice to feel part of a bigger picture; to have family to call on and spend time with. But he’d pretty much turned up, seemingly out of nowhere, and it’s only now that she wonders if her perceived saviour was actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Had she been so damaged that she had been prepared to overlook issues that would otherwise have been glaringly obvious? Had she been so insecure that she’d ignored any niggling doubts?

‘Isn’t he your old school friend?’ she asks now, helping Nathan out, because she doesn’t have the energy to listen to him embellish his lie.

‘Yeah, that’s the one,’ he says, falling straight into her trap. ‘God, you’ve got a good memory. Anyway, I had a bit of an impromptu meeting at the bank and then I bumped into Joe and one thing has led to another.’

‘Josh . . .’ Alice corrects him. ‘I thought you said his name was Josh.’