The First Mistake(75)

‘Yes, he’ll be home in time for tea,’ she says.

‘Yay,’ Olivia shrieks excitedly.

Alice turns around and smiles when she sees Sophia coming towards her. ‘Hey, what are you doing here?’

Her elder daughter’s arms hang limply by her side, but as Alice pulls her closer, she feels them slowly come up and wrap around her.

‘I had to return some books to the English department,’ she says. ‘And then I saw this little monkey doing PE on the field, so I thought I’d hang around and walk down.’

‘Ah, that’s so nice,’ says Alice, kissing Sophia’s forehead and pushing her hair away from her face. ‘Everything okay?’

‘Yeah.’ Sophia shrugs.

‘What’s been going on since I last saw you?’

‘You’ve only been gone three days,’ she exclaims.

‘So, nothing new to report?’

‘Gossip, you mean?’

Alice smiles. ‘That obvious, eh?’

Sophia rolls her eyes. ‘You’re worse than my mates.’

Despite her attempt to look and sound normal, Alice is anything but, as she constantly scans the playground, looking for Beth from behind her sunglasses. She can’t shake the heaviness that’s sitting on her chest – the foreboding feeling of waiting for Beth to turn up, not knowing whether she’s about to throw a grenade in her already fragile world. Hoping for the best, Alice puts her head down and hurriedly leads the way out of school.

‘Hello Alice,’ says Beth from her left, blindsiding her.

Heat rushes to her skin, making her feel light-headed. The girls are just a few feet behind her and she has no idea what Beth is going to say or do.

‘We still need to talk,’ she says quietly.

Alice looks directly at her, all too aware of little Millie standing at her mother’s side. Will I see Tom in her, now that my eyes have new knowledge? she asks herself, too frightened to look.

‘Can Olivia come to play?’ asks Millie.

Beth raises her eyebrows questioningly at Alice.

‘Not today,’ says Alice emphatically, her eyes flashing a warning look to Beth.

‘Perhaps another time,’ says Beth to her daughter.

‘Aww, that’s so unfair. Why can’t I go to Olivia’s then?’

‘Because you have to wait to be invited,’ says Beth patiently. ‘I assume we’re still invited to Olivia’s party on Sunday?’ She’s looking at Alice, who for a split second has no idea what she’s talking about.

‘What?’

‘Olivia’s party? Is Millie still allowed to come?’

The penny drops as Alice remembers the twenty invitations Olivia had excitedly taken into school two weeks ago. ‘Um, I don’t know . . .’ she stutters. ‘I’m not sure there’ll be . . .’ She pulls herself up. Of course Olivia’s birthday celebrations will go ahead. Just because her father is having an affair doesn’t mean that their lives have to be put on hold. But still Alice’s heart beats double-time at the thought of a house full of nine-year-olds, their pushy parents and her unfaithful husband. She almost groans out loud at the added complication of Beth and Millie being thrown into the mix.

‘Please say I can still come,’ says Millie tearfully, whilst tugging on Alice’s skirt.

‘Come on, let’s go . . .’ starts Beth, pulling the child away.

‘Of course,’ says Alice, forcing herself to look at Millie. The little girl’s eyes are filled to the brim and just as she sticks her bottom lip out, a big fat tear runs down her cheek. The jolt that Alice had expected to feel when she looked at her doesn’t come and she crouches down to Millie’s height.

Is that you in there, Tom? She looks into Millie’s eyes, searching for a sign, anything to prove that her beloved husband, the man she thought would never betray her, would do what Beth’s suggesting.

‘Of course you can come,’ Alice says to Millie. ‘Olivia wouldn’t have it any other way.’

The little girl’s dismay instantly turns into a grin and she instinctively throws her arms around Alice and kisses her cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she squeals.

Alice avoids eye contact with Beth as she returns to full height.

‘When are you free to . . . you know . . .?’ asks Beth quietly.

‘Mum, can I go and sit in the car?’ asks Sophia, obviously assuming that the two mums are going to have a long chat, like they usually do.

‘Yep, sure,’ says Alice, fishing for the keys in her bag.

‘Hi Millie-Moo,’ says Sophia, as she affectionately ruffles Millie’s hair. The little girl laughs and Alice feels like she’s stopped breathing.

It’s only then that the full implications of what Tom has done hit her. She’s spent the past week wallowing in self-pity at the realization that her first marriage was a sham. She’d swung from wanting Beth dead to being glad that Tom was no longer alive in her efforts to process what had happened, but at no point did she remember appreciating that she and Sophia might be half-sisters.

‘We need to sort this out,’ says Beth, as if reading her mind. ‘We can’t carry on, in this state of limbo.’

Alice feels like she might crumple to the floor, but steels herself, refusing to give in.