The First Mistake(83)

‘Welcome to the mayhem and mess,’ says Linda warmly, totally oblivious to the palpable tension between the other two women. ‘What can I get you to drink? And Millie darling, what would you like?’

Alice looks to her mum, her breath catching in her throat. What would she say if she knew the little girl she was offering the crisp bowl to was Sophia’s half-sister? And would Nathan be secretly pleased if he knew Tom had toppled from his place on the pedestal in such spectacular fashion?

But you might not be so squeaky clean yourself, she says to him silently, still unsure whether to believe his story about the unknown number. She wants to, but knows that if she does, she’s in danger of being as gullible as Beth was in trusting Tom. The admission that gullibility might be all that Beth is guilty of jolts her.

Alice can’t help but look at her, as if seeing her properly for the first time since her revelation. There’s a very real vulnerability in her eyes. A pain not unlike her own. The result of them both having had the lives they thought they had ripped out from beneath them.

It isn’t Beth’s fault that Tom did what he did. How was she to know that he was married, with a child? Alice hadn’t seen that lying, duplicitous side to Tom either, or maybe she had, but she just didn’t realize it at the time. Even now that she’s had time to digest it, she still can’t believe that he was cheating on her, on both of them, playing them for fools. They were both victims, who could do worse than support each other through this unimaginable ordeal.

‘Go on Millie, go and join in. I’ll stay here with the grown-ups,’ Beth encourages.

And it’s not her fault either, thinks Alice, as she steps forward and offers Millie her hand.

‘Shall we go and see what all the noise is about?’ she says to the little girl dressed as Disney’s Anna. Millie nods enthusiastically and waves a quick goodbye to her mum.

Alice leads Millie out to the garden, where Nathan is struggling to blindfold a boy who is dressed as a mini Jack Sparrow. She refrains from saying that it might be easier if he just pulls his bandana down over his eyes. Before they’ve even counted to three, the boy is hacking at the colourful donkey suspended from a tree as if he’s making his way through a dense jungle with a machete.

‘Whoa, steady on Captain,’ says Nathan. ‘Hey Millie. You want a go in a minute? If you’re as good at this as you are at Minecraft the donkey doesn’t stand a chance.’

Alice looks on, marvelling at how at ease he is with the kids. Not just his own, but everyone else’s as well. Despite everything, she would never be able to show enough gratitude for the way he took Sophia on, without question. For adopting a child that was never his until he made her feel as if she was.

Alice heads back into the kitchen and tops up her wine, taking a grateful sip before turning to Beth.

‘Could I have a word?’ she says, whilst nodding her head in the direction of the front room, away from the noise.

Beth forces a smile and follows Alice. The two women walk into the living room and Alice shuts the door softly behind them, playing for time, not knowing where to start.

‘Listen,’ she says, wringing her hands together. ‘I’m finding this all really difficult to deal with. It’s come at me like a rocket and I can’t deny that I’m having trouble processing it all and what it means.’

Beth nods, her lips pressed tightly together, as if they’re the only thing stopping her from shouting out.

‘I’m devastated by Tom’s deceit,’ says Alice, holding herself back from revealing what’s on Facebook. She needs to deal with that on her own, before involving anyone else, as it will only serve to complicate matters. ‘But I will come to terms with it in my own time,’ she goes on, ‘and in my own way, as I’m sure you will.’

Beth nods.

‘And as much as this newfound knowledge pains me, it is the realization that I’ve lost our friendship that pains me even more.’

‘You don’t have to—’ starts Beth.

‘No, please,’ says Alice, holding a hand up. ‘Let me finish. All I’ve thought about is how it affects me and Sophia, not thinking for a second about you and Millie. I’m sorry for that – it was selfish and wrong. I can’t even begin to imagine how this news has affected you, and for any part I’ve played in making that even harder, I’m truly sorry.’

Beth’s eyes widen at Alice’s admission.

‘I hadn’t realized quite how much your friendship meant to me until you weren’t there,’ Alice goes on. ‘We’ve only known each other for what, two years?’

Beth nods. ‘Almost three.’

‘But yet it feels like a lifetime,’ says Alice. ‘I’ve not always found it easy to make friends and, as you know, I’m not the most social mum in the playground.’

‘I’ve never seen you move so fast as when you drop Livvy off,’ Beth says with a little smile.

‘Exactly!’ says Alice. ‘So friends don’t come easy to me, but you . . .’ She feels tears spring to her eyes. ‘You and I feel like kindred spirits, and if we allow our friendship to suffer because of someone else’s duplicitous character, then there are no winners in this sorry state of affairs. I lost Tom once, and now I feel like I’ve lost him all over again. I don’t think I can cope with losing you too.’