The Dilemma(70)

Tears escape from my eyes and I dash them away angrily. I’d rather he’d come out and told me, rather than tear up the tickets. What am I meant to do now? Go and have it out with him? I shake my head. Nothing adds up, nothing makes sense. I know Adam, and if he really didn’t want to go and see the bridge, not only would he have been honest, he’d also have found a solution. He’d have suggested that we stay somewhere near Montpellier, not Millau itself, and explore the surrounding countryside instead. Maybe he didn’t want to tell me last night, so that’s another conversation we’re going to have this morning. And I’ll tell him that it’s fine, that we can do as he suggests. What’s important is that he has a few days away that he’ll enjoy.

I’m not sure the travel agency will refund the tickets but I can always ask. First, I need to try to stick them back together because I don’t suppose they’ll appreciate them being torn in half any more than I do.

I take the tickets from the wallet and piece them together, first Adam’s, then mine. And find myself staring, because instead of Montpellier, the destination is down as Cairo. I sit back against the wall, puzzling it out. I don’t understand how there could have been a mistake. I remember the girl at the travel agency going through the tickets with me before putting them in the wallet and she can’t have got them mixed up with someone else’s tickets because our names are on these, in black and white. And then I notice the departure date, and the time – 9th June, at 10.30 a.m. Today. In a few hours.

My mind feels as if it’s wading through sludge. These aren’t the tickets I bought, these are tickets that someone else bought. It must have been Adam. But why would Adam buy tickets for Cairo, leaving today, and not say anything about them to me? Unless he arranged a surprise for me, like I’d arranged a surprise for him. Except that I got there first.

I feel terrible. No wonder he wasn’t very enthusiastic when he saw the tickets for Montpellier. He knew we wouldn’t be able to go on Tuesday because we’d be in Cairo. It also explains the non-appearance of my present at the party – how could he give it to me when he knew it would spoil the one I’d just given him? But as he’s probably booked a resort, it would be more logical to cancel the trip to France than the one to Egypt.

The thought of Adam planning this trip makes me feel quite emotional. We’d seen a travel programme a while back about Egypt, and I remember telling him that I’d always wanted to see the pyramids, a throwback to my childhood when I wanted to be an archaeologist, until my parents told me I’d be a doctor. He must have planned to surprise me with the tickets this morning. Or maybe he wouldn’t have given them to me, maybe he’d have told me to pack a case because we were going on a surprise trip, and that I’d only find out where we were going when I got to the airport. It would have been wonderful. And it still can be. From a totally selfish point of view, I’d rather see the pyramids than the Millau Viaduct.





6 A.M. – 7 A.M.





Adam


I’m about to get out of bed and go and find Livia when I hear her footsteps pounding up the stairs, as if she’s suddenly discovered something. There’s a rush of acid in my stomach. She knows. I spring up in the bed, ready to catch her, but she comes running into the room looking so relieved and happy that I freeze.

‘You are just the most perfect man,’ she says, throwing herself down beside me. She cups my face in her hands and looks deep into my eyes. ‘I don’t whether to say thank you first, or sorry.’

‘What do you mean?’ I ask warily.

‘It’s not too late, we can still go.’ I look at her uncomprehendingly. ‘To Cairo!’ she laughs. ‘I found the tickets. It doesn’t matter that they’ve been torn in half, I’m sure we can print them ourselves.’

I take her hands from my face and hold them in mine. ‘Livia.’

‘You should have told me,’ she says, before I can say anything else. ‘I understand now why you didn’t seem overly pleased about the trip to Millau. You should have told me you’d already booked somewhere. I wouldn’t have minded.’

Now I’m in another nightmare. ‘It’s not that. We’re not going to Cairo. Well, we are, but not this morning.’

‘Have you managed to get the tickets changed? Oh, that’s perfect! Now we have two trips to look forward to! When are we going?’

‘Tomorrow. But listen, Livia—’

‘Well, that wasn’t very clever, to only change them to tomorrow.’ Her eyes cloud with confusion. ‘We still won’t be able to go to Montpellier. But I’d rather have a beach holiday anyway.’

‘Livia!’ I say desperately. ‘Will you listen?’ She looks at me in surprise. ‘We’re not going to Cairo for a beach holiday—’

‘Don’t tell me – I know, it’s one of those tour things, where you stay at different places! I know it’s not the same as lying on the beach but it’ll still be lovely.’

‘No. It’s not that.’

‘Well, what is it then?’

I catch hold of her hands again.

‘Livia, I need to tell you something very serious, and I need you to listen.’

The laughter finally leaves her and she goes very still. And while I’m trying to get the words out, she utters the most unthinkable words.